23 months clean yesterday then found out my new partner using cocaine Help

Mental health
1

hi

so I am off heroin and methadone 23 months yesterday and I’ve  just dropped from 6mls subutex to 4.4mgs.

i know my partner now uses weed so do I not good I know.

 Recently I have been getting the feeling that he’s hiding something from me. I’ve been thinking he’s doing cocaine as he’s a friend is always on it.

ive asked him you don’t do it do you?” He’s looked me straight in the eye and said no as if how dare I ask.

So yesterday when I sooo was happy that I am 23 months  in off all class As.

i have been asking him for months if he is doing it and he had denied it,

so in the car yesterday a text came up saying that this bloke had some better stuff than the last stuff they had.

 He was bang to rights then I couldn’t talk to him I had an appointment.

after I went to talk to him he has been lying to my face.

he has been using all the time s I thought. I feel so angry he lied and then my head thinks all kinds of things. It’s not fair I have mental health problems this is making it worse.

i feel so upset this man hasn’t even had a drink with me!!

he said he can’t say no to the person they go half’s.

being an addict before I never wanted to get with anyone who was doing class As.

this is the time in my life I get a second chance coming off the heroin and methadone 

im gutted feel so stupid.

I think I should end it I don’t know what to do.

if you ask me if I love him I don’t know I really don’t.

any advice please help

my self confidence has gone before we met I was happy as I had just left my abusive husband and was living with my mum.

since being with this man is not felt right really

thank you

 

2

Hi Vicky!

First & foremost very well done for being 23 months clean & getting your life back!! That is some achievement Vicky & you should be so very very proud of yourself for doing that!! So very well done to you!!! You have done ABSOLUTELY AMAZING VICKY!!!

I'm not one to offer advise on relationships but, I know people say that if you've used in the past, then stay away from people using & change the people you hang about with & get involved with if they're into drugs!!

I'm no councellor Vicky but, from what you ask yourself about "do I love him. I don't know!" Surely you deserve better?? Only you can answer that question!

I'm so very sorry I cannot give you the answers to the questions you have asked but, reading between the lines Vicky, deep down you know what you need to do!!

You've come so very far to get your life back being 23 months clean, you deserve so very much credit & I respect you so very much for doing that as i know how very hard it is!!

As i said Vicky, I'm no professional so please take my post with a pinch of salt but, i think you know the answer to what you need to do. You've been free 23 months, you've done the hardest thing anyone can ever do in life by claiming your life back, please don't throw it away again sweetheart. There are loads of lonely people in this world that just need someone to love & I'm pretty sure you will find one sooner rather than later!!!

Good luck in whatever you decide Vicky.

You've done really Amazing to come off of that crap for almost 2yrs now.

So you've done the so very hard part to get your life back, now you've got it back, please don't throw it away!!!

Take care Sweetheart

Ritchie xx

3

Hi Ritchie 🙂

thank you 

for taking the time to answer me! I really appreciate it.

thanks for possibly making me see what I already know.

ive spoke to him, I am not unreasonable but I don’t want to even think about it to  even entertain the thought off class As. 

Ive been there with a huge addiction I need to stay clear.

he has said he can stop but I just don’t know.

thank you for your kind words Ritchie I am sorry for the late reply

i will speak again to him when I have got my head round it

take care oboe again thank you xx

take care

vicky 🙂

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You're very welcome Vicky.

Good luck in whatever you decide & keep on the road to getting your life back! It will soon be 2 years & you've done so very amazing to get there!!

Well done & take care

Ritchie xx

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Hi Vicky 

your amazing as your 2 years clean and I have a son who is about 2 months clean so I hope he gets to where you are now as I will know he's done it. Next thing is anyone that knows anything about getting off drugs will tell you to get away and stay away from anyone who's using and as you have doubts about you probably don't really love him so maybe you are just his crutch and maybe he's just using and abusing you. If you can leave him do it now you deserve all that's good in the world after doing what seems like the impossible for yourself. Follow your instinct as its what has got you to this good place.

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Vicky, most drug users lie, it's the nature of drugs. They hide it and don't want everyone knowing. Now, if you want to be away from this type of relationship and keep away from class A drugs ..... get rid. He will damage your mental health and cannot be trusted. If he can look you straight in the eye and claim he doesn't do coke ...... then he obviously doesn't care too much about you. Get out ..... stay clean and keep doing the amazing job you have been xxxx

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In July I've been off heroin 4 years!!! I'm still on suboxone cause I have chronic pain and fibromyalgia and herniated disc in neck and back. So it helps with pain!! Better than being on opiates!! Their wanting to cut me down on it but in scared!! Last time I was on subs for 3 years and got off and whiten a week I was back on heroin!! It ruined my life and my sons life and my fiancé died and we ended up homeless. I haven't been with a man since!! Im scared to be with anyone!! If you have any kind of off feeling like something's not right go with your gut instinct!! You stay with this guy you may end up back on heroin!! Just saying!! Usually your gut instinct is right!!