Having suffered with depression for 3yrs and getting nowhere with my GP thought it maybe an idea to try to talk to my mother about how I felt. Her answer "don't talk like that, you have nothing to be depressed about. You have a roof over your head and a job". She seems to forget that I lost my house, only get to see my daughter (who I brought up, read bedtime stories to every night) now and then.
I work alone, live alone have no friends at all. I finish work on a friday around 1700hrs and don't see or speak to anyone again until monday morning.
Her response has left me feeling that I would be better off away from this exsistance (can't call it life because it's not). I have been told I have severe depreesion, high anxiety, extreme loneliness and low self esteem I have tried everything from changing GP surgeries to local support groups with no luck.
Just realised that sometimes there is no point in trying to carry on when your own mother could'nt give a sh*t about you
Sounds like your mother is in denial.
She loves you...and doesn't or can't recognize that you are suffering because she doesn't know how to FIX it.
Mothers always give a sh*t about kids but sometimes have their own problems on how to show their love.
I have severe depression too...low self esteem..high anxiety....my mother (I'm 51)...doesn't associate with me because she doesn't know how to help me.
Also, I have been told for years...that my low self esteem is because of my mother and her lack of being able to show her love for me.
Losing a house is a BIG deal. Being ripped from your daughter is a BIG deal.
And, you have to stop beating yourself UP...FOR your daughter....you don't want to end up treating her the way you are being treated because you have learned no other way but to be distant and to isolate yourself.
We can't change the past. There is so much in my past that I dwell on that brings me down.
Can you try to get more time with your daughter? Can you join an online dating site to meet people and bring up your self esteem? Maybe you don't want to DATE...but the sites can keep you busy with chatting with people....
Why don't you ever go out on Friday nights with the people at work? Do you have any intrest in pursuing another career? With school?
A GP may not be enough...how about a therapist? I just started with a therapist...they have group sessions once a week too...that I may go to...to just not feel lonely.
Thanks for the reply,
I would love to see my daughter more but she is a teenager and wants to spend more time with her friends rather than with me. I won't stop her doing that if that's what makes her happy. She is the only reason I am still here. If it wasn't for her I would of ended it by now, but I can't put her through that. Her happiness means more to me than my own.
I have been on a online dating site for 18 months, once I felt the time was right to start looking for a new relationship. I have emailed 73 different women and had 5 replies 3 said not interested, 1 said she would like to meet up for a coffee and didn't show the other was unsuccessful.
I work on my own, the people I do know through work are either married or with partners and don't wont me tagging alone. I have no interests, have got to the point were I don't care about anything anymore. Sit here every evening and weekend on my own staring at the tv or just the 4 walls thinking where have I gone wrong and what's the point in carrying on.
They say fake it till you MAKE it.
Maybe with the online woman you are being too honest about your depression?