45 and just found out I have Herpes

Sexual health
1

I am 45 and doctor just told me I have genital herpes. Here is my story and maybe someone can answer questions before I confront my wife.

I had a relationship with a girl when I was 19yrs old for about a year. This was the first time I had ever had sex and she said she was a virgin as well. Most sexual encounters were protected. We broke up when I was 20.

When I was about 24 I dated a girl for 2 years and never had vaginal sex but she did give me oral sex and I do recall that she did have cold sores on her mouth occasionally. She was a devoted catholic and she also said she will not have sex until she was married. So I was assuming she was also a virgin.

I met my wife when I was 27, I am now 45 years old and a few weeks ago had sores on my penis, went to the doctor a few days ago and he said I have genital herpes.

Prior to getting married, my wife said she had only been with one other guy.

My question;

How could I have gotten herpes?

Can I get it from a virgin with a cold sore on her lip 18 years ago?

How long can herpes be dormant?

My guess, is that my wife has been cheating on me, wondering how to confront my wife??

Thanks,

Pat

2

I'm no doctor but I know you can definitely catch genital herpes from someone who has a cold sore if they perform oral sex on you. So I would not be too hasty accusing the wife!!

3

I know anything is possible. but let's get real, so it can lay dormant for 18 years before anything happens.have an active sex life with my wife. and is it possible she doesn't have it?

4

I think it is possible that it lay dormant. I have a friend who was infected when she was 20...her attacks were awful at first, she literally thought her life was over. I have not seen her for about 5 years now but she had not had any episodes in over 15 years when we were last in contact. Has your wife ever had a cold sore? Also, I'm sure I remember reading that the very first episodes are quite severe, or can be. Do you have a mild case? It may be that if you do, a past episode went unnoticed? Or was not diagnosed?

5

Also, as I understand it, its only contagious when it's active.