5 weeks in on Sertraline. When does the roller coaster ride stop?

Treatment and medication
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Hello everyone, thank you so much for your kind words and support, i hope you’re doing well. It’s good to talk and get different perspectives on how others are doing.

A mixed week for me, a 5 year olds birthday party with about 30 children on Saturday, I was dreading it, really didn’t want to go, but, surprise surprise I was fine. Pleased not to have made a fool of myself and have to leave. The next day tho was really rubbish again tho and I really don’t understand why. I go to bed at night feeling fine and wake up 4 to 5 hours later in a mess.

GP telephone appointment on Wednesday (whoever thought a telephone appointment is a good way to talk about hideous mental health problems? Maybe it works for some folk). So I agreed to increase to 75mg but not to do it all in one go, 62.5mg for a while first. Not too bad a day yesterday and so far today also, mornings are my worst time so the fact that I haven’t cried uncontrollably yet is good but I can feel it in the background, I feel like I’m plugged into the national grid with an almost constant jittery feeling throughout my body. It makes me unsettled, frightened and tearful. I find it impossible to ignore however much I tell myself it will pass and I’ll be better later in the day, it’s always in my mind that today may be the day that it doesn’t pass and I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life. No thoughts set it off, it’s just there, exhausting and frightening.

I think trying to change your mindset Paul is a very hard thing to do but achievable. I think It takes constant practice, catching yourself doing it and reinforcing a more positive thought or way of looking at something. I’m always quick to blame myself for anything that goes wrong and I can easily be upset by taking something that someone has said the wrong way, then i whittle and worry myself silly. Perhaps rather than trying to change all of your mindset in one go, maybe choose an instance where you feel upset about something thats been said or happened and without spending too long on it try to pick it apart and work out the fact from the fiction. My therapy this week (all over the phone, it’s a hopelessly inadequate way of sorting these complex and deeply ingrained feelings) is to look at unhelpful thinking. I think it’s taking things slowly bit by bit and not trying to fix your whole way of thinking in one go. All we can do is try.

Rachel, I hope you continue to do well with citalopram, let us know how you are.

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Hi all, how is everyone doing? Sorry I was quiet all last week. Life getting in the way a bit on top of the anxiety. That’s great that you got out Georgina, and great it all went OK too. I understand what you’re saying when you say you don’t really know why you’re feeling rubbish. I have had this a lot since starting on the Sertraline. How are things now, have they settled more? How is the increase in dosage going, are you getting many side effects? You certainly won’t be like you are for the rest of your life but I get why you’re feeling like that. Let’s hope once the higher dose kicks in it helps to settle those feelings more for you.

As for me, it’s all a bit mixed up. I think things have settled on my current 75mg dose. I still however feel anxious / like something bad will happen in the mornings. Not every morning but most are like that. I can definitely feel the Sertraline working and helping me to question my own thoughts etc but this is not until the afternoons. It’s 7 weeks since I upped my dose so I could still be in the stabilising period. Currently I am trying to be chilled but I am struggling. Sunday my wife took the children up the allotment for an hour or so. They went in areas of the allotment I am not happy with them going. On getting home I checked them over for ticks as best as possible. I wanted them showered but was told that wasn’t necessary, which makes it hard to check their hair. Post checking them though I stupidly forgot to check myself…About 20 - 30mins later I noticed a black dot on my arm that is new. I brushed at it and it fell off. I wish I’d used my magnifying glass at this point but for some reason I though it wasn’t a bug (denial maybe) but on squishing it (not something you should do with ticks) it burst. Then I took a look at the remains and I, and my wife, are pretty sure it was a tick. It looks like it had only just started to try bite into me, seeing that it just brushed off so easily. So now I will be on edge until around October (tick activity dies down) this year when anyone visits the allotment, but more so the children.

I must try to be positive though. I hope you’re all doing well?

1 Like
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Hi G how are you feeling. I can only assume you’re feeling a bit better as not seen you post for a while. I’ve been a bit busier and have been trying to distract myself as much as possible. I’m week 5 of citalopram and have had recurring issues this week. Although the diarrhoea has much improved on citalopram I’ve had a few issues with general poor appetite and gastrointestinal issues the same as before. Still getting occasional morning anxiety and still having disturbed sleep. Been getting on off muscle tension in my neck and shoulders restless and legs in the evening. I thought I might have been feeling much better by now but still early days I suppose and can take some up to 3 months to feel somewhat normal physically. Mentally I have been able to start engaging with CBT. Last week I had to write down the pros and cons of worry of any given issue that was causing me an issue. Ultimately this was quite helpful because there are many pros of worry. I too like many on here struggle with any sort of anxiety regarding health and the inability to control what happens to others I love. When you distill this down my main fear is death and loss of others. So my next big challenge is to try and learn to sit with uncertainty and and deal with facts not maybe or statistics. We’ve had a lot of loss of loved ones and friends and it’s always in my mind but what I take from this are the happy times and memories I have of these people. So I owe it to myself and others I love to try to live in the moment.

The process of getting better from anything be it mental or physical is never linear. Let me know your thoughts and how things have been for you. R

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Hi P,

Tick season must be horrendous. Is it the thought of lime disease ultimately or a fear of bugs? We have woods near us I like to take my daughter’s dog to and have to wear tight fitting clothing and boots this time of year and check him over before coming back in the house. It is a worry as we have found a few on the sofa before that have dropped off him. I suppose being vigilant is good as you can get them before they can latch on but ultimately he is a cocker spaniel and loves a good sniff and being off lead so it’s a constant balancing act between enjoyment verses risk of ticks.

How is CBT going for you? I went back to yoga this week for the first time in about 6 months. It was good but I’m very stiff and rusty from not being very active. Baby steps. This was my homework from CBT this week. To do more that gets me outside and to engage socially. I struggle with motivation but apparently this is one of the last things to get better which doesn’t really help when doing things helps to distract and enables you to feel more motivated. So I literally have to set a small goal each day and make myself do it and if I can do more that’s a bonus but I no longer beat myself up if I’m having a bad day. I just accept it’s a bad day they happen to everyone regardless of whether they are on SSRIs or not. Physically I’m still struggling with the same symptoms as sertraline except I don’t have the constant watery diarrhoea. Still have GI issues but hoping my body will adapt over the coming months. Morning anxiety is still a thing around 7 onwards. Sleep not great and still get tension and jittery at times. I long to feel back to my old self and just be without analysing my thoughts or sensations. I’m currently decorating my spare room to become a craft studio/hobby room. It’s very slow progress and upstairs is a bit of a mess but it’s giving me hope that I will enjoy many hours of therapy in there once it’s finished. I hope you have some time to do something for yourself that brings you distraction and joy too. R

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Hi Rachel and Paul, sorry for delay in replying, I do hope you are both feeling ok and that life is being kind to you. At least the weather is happy!

Things with me are still difficult. Mornings are the worst time. Jitttery soon after taking the sertraline which can last on and off most of the day along with a sort of overwhelming feeling of misery, cheerful stuff sorry! I’m not the person to come to if you’re looking for a sparkly conversation! I’m almost 8 weeks in, 5 weeks on 50mg and 3 on 62.5mg. I had to back out of an overnight golf trip, just the thought of being away from home and husband and not being able to manage myself was crippling. Also had to cancel an evening with a friend as I was in a bit of a mess. The CBT by phone is wasted on me, it’s just not my sort of thing and I find it difficult to engage with it and I’m always in tears during it :roll_eyes:. Our son and daughter in law have birthday celebrations tomorrow with a big family lunch in a pub about an hour away, I desperately want to go but I’m frightened that I won’t be good enough to go and it would also mean my husband would miss out too as he’d have to stay with me. So, all in all I’m not exactly sparkling with positivity! Sorry folks!

Rachel, it sounds like you’re keeping yourself occupied with nice things to do. It sounds like CBT is working for you which is great, is it face to face or online? It’s difficult to put into practice but I really hope it helps you.

I totally understand about not being able to control what happens to your loved ones, I feel the same. It’s nothing to do with wanting to control their lives or anything I just don’t want anything awful to happen to them and the thought of losing someone is something I dwell on frequently and it makes me very distressed.

I also have gastrointestinal worries. An ache in my right side which comes and goes every day, usually ok when upright and walking but uncomfortable when sitting. Despite being told it’s all to do with my bile malabsorption as a result of my gallbladder being removed 20 years ago I’m still very worried about it. I have an open appointment with the consultant so I’m giving it a few more weeks and if no better I’ll go and see him. It just adds to the general feeling of fear, fear of my head and fear of my body :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: dear me!

Paul, how’s things? You thought you were settling a little, are you still feeling better?

The allotment issues must be so difficult for you to manage, I understand in a way, I remember when our cat had fleas years ago and I was horrified. Constantly spraying the furniture, changing the bedding etc, every little dark speck that I came across made me feel horrible. It’s a shame that the ticks spoil your time at your allotment as it’s such a lovely thing to do especially with the children.

Well, I think thats me and my misery for now! I’m presuming you are both in the UK, if so, enjoy the lovely weather, I hope it puts a spring in your steps. Thank you so much for continuing with the thread on here, it’s good to be able to compare notes and I’m sorry if my posts aren’t very uplifting. Sending you both lots of good thoughts. G.

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Hi G,

It sounds as though your body is taking a bit longer to adapt. I’m wondering if you can try to use up excess adrenaline in the morning if this might help. Maybe a walk or some on the spot exercises. I have been given a link to a progressive muscle relaxation recording and some breathing exercises which I have found helps a little but you need to practice it regularly. I’m sure there are very similar techniques available on utube. My mornings are still the worst around 7 am till about 9. I can’t linger in bed or it just becomes worse. I have to get up and moving and it tends to ease off after this. I believe it’s linked to a natural cortisol spike in the morning. I’m still getting ectopic heart beats but I’ve had this before and it has always been due to low oestrogen which I’m still struggling to find the right dose.

It would be such a shame if you aren’t able to go to your family celebration meal. But I totally get it. Maybe that’s too big a step for you just now to have to deal with. But I really think pushing yourself to do something small everyday really helps build confidence and motivation. I do know exactly what you mean about CBT over the phone. It’s hard to build a relationship and trust with someone like this. I have face to face online. I’ve been chatting to my therapist since around the beginning of March now but it’s only in the past 2 sessions I’ve felt ready to start doing any tasks. I’ve had moments I’ve felt emotional and vulnerable but it’s good to get it all out sometimes and try to understand why we feel the way we feel. You mentioned about your health and fear of the unknown, it’s incredibly common. From what I understand it’s to do with generalised anxiety and needing to have control over situations and being uncomfortable with uncertainty. However, what I’m learning is trying to live with facts not ifs or maybes. And if you still feel something is not right get it checked. Don’t google! If it was something of concern it can be dealt with sooner rather than later and you can move on. Trouble is when our bodies are hypersensitive small things that we would normally not think twice about suddenly becoming the one thing our minds looks for. Your not going mad it’s our brain trying to keep us safe but the security alarm bell is going off at the slightest moment. This is why recalibrating all the learnt behaviours and reactions takes time. We’ve probably been doing it for years unknowingly so it’s not surprising it can take time to unravel. I’ve had to get my husband involved as well as I feel he has a role to play in helping me find ways to help myself as well as being there to give me a cuddle and tell me I’m doing ok. I too have a tendency to seek constant reassurance but in the long term I’ve learnt that I have to be able to find reassurance in myself independently. I too am a work in progress and whilst I am trying my best to keep busy I still have really tough days but I accept them for what they are and try to see tomorrow as another day. When I look back and see where I was: getting zero sleep every night, crying and lying on the sofa every day wondering when this hell would ever end. I can’t believe got to the point where I didn’t want to be here anymore. So the fact I’m still here and still trying to get “me” back is tough but I know I have so much to be grateful and live for. Try to talk to yourself as you would your best friend and give yourself a pat on the back! Chat soon R

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I recently started sertraline for generalized anxiety and related symptoms and am currently in the early weeks of treatment. I’m interested in hearing from others about their experiences with this medication during the initial adjustment period and typical timelines for improvement.

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Sorry to jump on the back of this but found this thread after some online searching. For years my wife has been telling me that she feels that I’m depressed as I’ve changed with my moods and I’m not the person I was. Obviously I played it down, I mean how could I be depressed? Anyway, last couple of weeks, especially last week it felt like I’d been hit by a bus and at the weekend I completely crashed and broke down, spent the weekend sleeping or crying.

Anyway started Sertraline 3 days ago (Monday night) on 50mg for the depression and extremely low moods. Tues and Weds my Anxiety went through the roof even though I’ve never really suffered with that unless circumstances arose. I work away and while talking to my wife she suggested dropping to 25mg (half a tablet) until the end of the weekend to see if it settles a bit. It’s 11.38am on Thursday and have just had a mad few hours where my mind wouldn’t stop and I could do nothing but worry. I can’t believe something that is supposed to make you feel better can make you so much more worse to begin with, especially so soon. I’m reading so many diaries and getting so many mixed messages but just trying to keep my head high and hopes up.

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Hi @dmp

This is a really common start up symptom. Most doctors start you on a lower 25mg dose to start with for around a week to 10 days depending on how you are coping with side effects before titration to 50mg. So if you are still having the same levels of anxiety and agitation it might be worth dropping for a while before going up to 50mg. You can also ask your doctor GP if they would consider giving you a bridge medication such as diazepam and/or propanolol to help until side effects calm down during the first month or so. Hope you’re doing ok?

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Thanks for the reply, I’ve just taken my 2nd 25mg dosage so we’ll see how it goes. Today was still bad but not as bad as the 1st 2 days. I absolutely hate this if I’m honest, I don’t know what triggered me to crash so soon but it’s awful and I just want to feel like myself again.

The constant negative thoughts and worries are horrible. Im away with work at the minute and go home today (Friday), part of me can’t wait but part of me is dreading it. I don’t want to be a burden to my wife and children. X