I'd been taking lofexidine for 4 days but my blood pressure dropped way to low 90/36 or something like that so my doc stopped it straight away. So the last 2 days have been hell no sleep rls depression so today I caved and relapsed am I going to b back to square one with my detox bc of this stupid mistake I need to be well enough for work ASAP plz don't tell me I'll have to start again from the beginning I was doing so well I feel so ashamed my wife has looked after me all week and I've let her down big time where do I stand now with regards to my recovery time thanks in advance for any input
Can anyone give me any answers
Ryan
What did you take?
Are you still on it?
Is it the same quantity as before?
I am no expert but I am curious as I have slipped a bit during my wd and have the same questions
I was on 2 mg buprenorphine 6 days clean then caved and smoked a bag of heroin today just to get rid of awfull rls and depression due to them stopping britlafex how did we end up in this situation mate I'm so mad at my self I should have just man,d up and gotten thru today but I didn't I'm going to ask for a beta blocker so I can't do it again maybe u should look into that to just praying this 6 days were pointless
It's a bit quite on here there only seems like there's us to and we both need answers good luck brother I mean that with all my heart! May we overcome this evil affliction
Are u still there astrodude
I'd just like to add I haven't touched smack for 5 years untill today I feel sick I did it what a complete dick head I'm so ashamed I can't bare to look at my self all that hard work I feel down the swanny. Well tomorrow is a new day and a clean slate my family deserve better I deserve better most of us do in fact
Hi Ryan
Sorry for the silence
I was in the bath trying to get comfortable
I am going to see the doc tomorrow to discuss my struggle
He will want to put me back on codeine but it will just prolong the inevitable
It's ___
I've never done h probably because I've never had it offered but I'm pretty sure I could have as I have had to beat coke and speed before which I used daily for about 4-5 years a piece.
I quit those myself without help, that was tough, but opiates are are completely different thing and the torture your mind and body go through is enough to lead you to contemplate doing anything to take the pain away!
Don't beat yourself up
We all fall off
Get back on and seek all the help available
I'm considering katrom
Have you heard of it, tried it?
Peace brother x
Hi
Ryan
Sorry for the silence I was trying to get comfortable in the bath
I have posted a reply to you but it's being moderated for some reason
Stay strong
Don't blame yourself
This is harder than people can understand
Get back on
Tomorrow is a new day
The last 6 were of use even if painful
Get any help available and look after yourself
Peace brother x
I also replied to ur post bro hope tonight isn't to rough thanks I'm so glad to have bumped into u man
Can any of the mods explain why astrodudes reply is waiting to b moderated it seems a little bit rude when we r having a very serious conversation (with all due respect)
Hey Ryan
How are you today??
Starting to withdraw again waiting for doc to ring me I replied to ur post but it's being moderated I just want this hell to b over brother
Stay strong bro
Don't go back there
If you have any left get rid of it
If you have contacts in your phone delete them
People who sell or give you that ___ are not friends.
I have had to cut people out of my life to avoid temptation in the past, it's hard,
If you can't cut them out tell them under no circumstances no matter how much you beg to refuse you.
Stay strong please
I will too
Emis Moderator comment: I have edited this post due to the swearing. These are open forums so as per the T&Cs please do not use offensive language in posts otherwise they may be deleted.
Why the hell do these moderations happen it's maddening when we are just trying to support each other!!!???
In a nutshell Ryan
Stay strong
Throw away anything you have that will tempt you
Cut yourself off from people and places of temptation and pester the doc to hell
Stay strong
Hi Ryan
Did the doc get back to you?
How are you?
I got home after my walk
Had to cook tea for my family as I'm the only one at home at the moment and it seems like the right thing to do to contribute at the moment.
I was fighting back tears trying to motivate myself so I took a Valium to numb myself a bit, then I found 2 solpadeine max, 12.8mg of codeine in each tab, with 500mg paracetamol.
I took them.
They are the last I've got lying around, and it is only a small amount but I know I should have resisted, and thrown them away.
I hope I don't regret it.
I vow not to buy any more
I have to develop more resolve!
Hi Ryan
You've gone dark
Is everything ok bro?
Yea sorry astro my doc is refusing symptomatic relief coz of blood pressure so basically I've got to go it alone cold turkey for the remainder of the hell I've got about 4 zopiclone and a couple strips of Valium to try to aid insomnia but they always wear off in early hours so the nights are long and the days r depressing. But this morn I took ur advice stuck my earphones in and went for a good walk to my fave beauty spot over looking my whole town when I reached the top of the hill with the panoramic view the sun shon on my face and the it was beautifull I got emotional in a good way if that makes sense thank u so much for suggesting I go for a walk. Don't beat ur self up detoxes don't always go the way we want I can tell with ur intellect and the way u say things u are strong enough to do this thing just think in 6 months time and I know that's a long time! this hell will b just an unpleasant memory and nothing more brother I would say keep the bulldog spirit but as ur a yank I'll say pittbull spirit lol thanks mate
Hi Ryan
I'm sorry the doc wouldn't help you!
It can be a set back when you are hoping for relief and it doesn't come
And well done for going for that walk I'm glad you felt the sun on your face, simple things like that can remind you of your place in this world and how lucky you are to be part of it
I am not having a great morning
I didn't get much sleep and have a banging headache
I'm not sure if it was a good idea but I ordered some katrom which arrived today and I have taken 3grams (weighed on scales from a previous habit 
)
It's about half an hour since I dosed and I can say I feel a bit more comfortable, I am a bit worried I might be on the road to a new addiction but it's supposed to be less habit forming and easier to quit?
I'm not suggesting you try it because I truly believe if possible we should be able to function as humans without using mind altering substances
I just find life a bit too much without something to take the edge off, maybe it's a brain chemistry thing or maybe I'm just a junkie?
Oh, and by the way, I'm a Brit, not sure why you thought I was a yank? 
Stay strong my friend
I'm glad we have had the chance to share
Oh right no way ur British I just thought with the drugs u mentioned they seam to b more of a problem across the pond sorry man yea I was reading about kratom but it's a bit of a risky one it's a drug isn't it we have addictive personalities don't we!! but ppl have had success with it with what I've read anyway maybe the drugs have been masking depression that is very common my key worker said. Maybe antidepressants will help? the headache is ur natty pain killers are non existent let me know how u get on with that kratom is it shipped illegally from abroad