Dear fellow sufferers,
I am now 4 weeks on 50mg Sertraline and 5 weeks on 100mg and starting to feel better.
I hope this story gives some hope to you. I have been reading these posts myself and know how helpful it was to hear about peoples positive outcomes with this medication. I emigrated recently because of Brexit and change is always a trigger for me so I started to go downhill in mood and anxiety levels. I was able to fight it off myself for a few months with cold swimming and breathing exercises but then it kept returning. When I stopped sleeping and the suicidal thoughts began, I knew I had to see a doctor and get on the meds. I have had 6 episodes before and I have had Setraline 2 times and both times they helped. This time was no different but I had forgotten what hell it was for me to take them. In my case the side effects are bad. The worst is that I get heightened anxiety for the whole time until I turn the corner. I had terrible mornings but normally I improved throughout the day. I am taking Mirtazapine which sorts my sleep out amazingly well but I also have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 4 years so I have little energy for exercise and a symptom of Chronic Fatigue is what is called unrefreshed sleep so I feel crap no matter how I sleep. With Sertraline, Mirtazapine and Chronic Fatigue the mornings are therefore awful. I started on 50mg for 4 weeks and was hoping to stick with that but I got no improvement and so I went to 100mg. The doctor said that 50mg is not a therapeutic dose so I was supposed to be going up to 100mg anyway. I just didn’t want to because of the side effects (anxiety, drowsiness, no appetite, upset stomach, disturbed sleep, lump in throat, night sweats, adrenaline/fear surges). I know that when you change dose these all get worse but in fact I was so used to the side effects that I didn’t notice them getting much worse at all at 100mg. I have been on 200mg before and that was really tough to get used to. Anyway during the 4 weeks on 50 and 4 weeks on 100 I had some amazing days where I felt normal but it lasted one day or 2 and then just got worse. I was so sensitive to negative feelings and thoughts that could tip the balance from moment to moment. I spent the whole time in my head, thinking about thoughts, thinking about thinking about thoughts, analysing my bodily sensations, trying to convince myself Id be ok. I got these horrible surges of fear – I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me and taste it in my mouth. I was exhausted the whole time and felt like lying down all day but if I ever did I felt horrible guilt that it was making me worse. I need to be doing things and getting out the house to get a sense of achievement ( I am unemployed so I don’t have a job to take my mind off it). But then came week 5 on the higher dose and I woke one morning, the anxiety crept up on me as usual but then it eased off during the day and then the next day I woke feeling serene. The nice feeling has now lasted 6 days in a row and I am fairly sure that I have turned the corner. As long as I don’t get any shocks I think this is the start of getting my life back. I also have had counselling. Its not cheap and one of my main fears is about money so it was a hard decision to pay for counselling but I am glad I did. I have seen the GP 3 times in 2 months and the counsellor via zoom 3 times. So my message to you is “when in hell, don’t stop” just keep going one day at a time, one hour at a time Keep doing things like you would normally and don’t be hard on yourself. This drug will work but you have to go through hell before it does. In my opinion the better you accept your temporary visit to hell the easier things will be. I was full of doubt about the medication, the dose, whether the anxiety was due to the meds or me, and so on. It never stopped with the doubting and that feeds the anxiety. But I thought what choice do I have? I have to keep taking the pills and wait for 2 months or 3 months before I can decide if its right for me.
So I hope this helps.
Stewart.