This is just a small message to say a big massive well done to all the mothers who have children from babies upwards that have somehow navigated this huge and life changing operation with children in tow with little or no help. It is huge, incredibly challenging and you don't even have the time to cry or to ask for help...so this message is for you.
I look back now and can not believe I managed with two children at 3 and a half weeks post op on my own full time - a huge 15 hours a day, I was still on two crutches and could not even get dressed or do the basics. How I did it is still beyond me....but we did! We all got through it!....
and to all those patients in the throes now...my biggest and best hug goes to you. We all have a long recovery, but cooking, cleaning, caring for others and trying to get better - it is nothing short of heroic.
So if you are exhausted reading this, know that other mothers have trodden the same path, cried the same tears of desperation but overcome all...to eventually play with our children once again as I did today. It is all worth it in the end...
I second that Rose!! I can't imagine having this surgery when my children were still young. I am blessed to have a family that would never leave myself but that urgency to nurture would take over. I also applaud all this that have wee ones and recovering!!!
What a lovely post Rose , I have huge respect for anyone doing this hippie thing on their own but to have children to care for aswell is just incredible . Have a huge hug yourself š±š±š±š±š±š± ( couldn't find a hug emoticon so gave you some kitties instead )
Oh my - I totally agree! My husband and I talked about this and about single people living alone who have navigated this journey and stayed sane! Kudos to you all!
What a lovely post, I'm awaiting my rthr , I have 3 children aged 13,9 & 6 a fantastic supportive husband and its them that are getting me through this
I am a single father with full custody of my two daughters. It's not just mothers. Their mother desided she no longer wanted to be a wife or mother anymore and bailed on us 7 years ago.
Oh Chris - that just sucks. I am so sorry. Of course, this sentiment applies to all single parents as well.
Recovery must have especially tough for you and for your girls to see at less your 100% fatherness. There are several single Dad's on here including one with a very young son who was terrified to be apart from his Dad at first then very insecure with his Dad needing help.
I really hope you have a strong circle of friends helping you and your daughters.
Well done you, that cannot have been easy on your own full time!
I have just read your other post too, I am 10 weeks on today with a 2 and a half year old.
It has been difficult at times, but my husband has been great, you are right we will all get there in the end.
I worried when would I be able to play properly with my little boy and feel confident taking him out for a walk by myself, (and no pushchair! Waiting for those words 'up mummy!' which I have now achieved!! It is hard to rest and take things slowly and carefully when you have a ball of energy running around the house. But to all those with children it really is possible, tiring but yes, possible!!!š
Sorry it took so long, I never have a minute to come back on - you are right you are a parent before everything else, and so you get on and do it, but couldn't help but think of others in my position and hope they feel encouraged that you do soon feel completely better.
I found pre op really tricky - post op it takes longer than you expect but the pain is less (that was my experience anyway) I would set aside six weeks before getting back to normal(ish) at the earliest. Second time around this is how I will plan it. My husband was absolutely wonderful, but needed to go back to work after nearly four weeks off...and my family live a long way away. In hindsight I should have made more use of my friends! I would say not only is my marriage much closer after this, it seems to have deepened considerably, but my children also appreciate what I do a lot more than they ever did!
So I would say lots of upsides Michelle - and of course the ability to walk and enjoy life again, which goes without saying!
Have you had your operation or about to have it Chris?
I am hoping you have lots of support from family and friends. You don't say how old your daughters are, but what I would say for daughters is that they may well love to help, I know I could not have managed at all without mine.
You are doing well 10 weeks, so you are really getting there (in some ways and not others I hear just what you are saying)
A little tot needs a lot of care, and you can't run either, so I guess you need to be very careful where you go and what you do.
It gets A LOT easier from 12 weeks, and by 20 weeks you are really feeling (almost) completely like your old self, minus the tremendous bone pain of before. I feel and look younger now definitely, but is a long old road!
Now my new hip can go anywhere and the other is holding me up!!
You are doing a great job 'running' around after a little tot, and soon you will be able to play and run with him, and there is nothing quite like that moment when it comes. I couldn't help but cry. I had waited so long for the moment to come, you have many happy days ahead.