AA

General health and lifestyle
1

I'm thinking about going to AA now as I think my drinking has got out of control again.

Last time I quit, which was for over a year, I completely went it alone.

Since relapsing I've been trying to do the same thing, but sheer willpower can't pull me through.

I looked into getting some medication online but that was turned down (I think because I've had seizures in the past).

I may talk to the GP about it but, this being England, I have doubts whether I'd be prescribed anything on the NHS.

Thinking about AA... Do you have to talk at the first meeting? I'm scared and don't want to talk about stuff in front of people, not until I feel comfortable. (I get really bad social anxiety) Do they insist you talk to the group? Anyone know how it works?

2

Seizures from going cold turkey or seizures similar to epilepsy?

 

3

Seizures similar to epilepsy - and it's been 12 years since it happened. At the time alcohol was identified as a trigger factor (they all occured when I was hungover) but the specialists I saw didn't see this as the main factor. 

4

No you don't have to talk at the first meeting. You are there to 'taste it'. Have you read their book? It is very enlightening! Also no one is judging you as they are all there for the same reason.

Also where in England do you live? In my area there is a Recovery Programme for people with addictions; they support you on your road to recovery. A little different to AA but both work well for different people.

 

5

Then probably for you, the best route is a detox with diazepam or similar and thecurb Campral to help the craving. There is anothe medication and Joanna might join the thread and comment, called Selincro, but they might rule that out because of your previous seizures, Joanna will know.

Your GP will refer you a alcohol treatment charity who can prescribe the medication. He may give you a prescription for diazepam but is more likely to leave it to the charity.

Every time you relapse, your body digs in deeper with alcohol, so the withdrawal symptoms get worse, it's called kindling. Google alcohol withdrawal kindling. Your brain also gets hard wired that it can't stop thinking about alcohol 24/7, it drives you nuts, so eventually you drink just to make it stop.

Talking about it doesn't realy help that much, unless the people counselling really understand alcohol addiction does to you, how it affects your central nervous system and your neural pathways.

Believe me, getting medication is the most likely way to succeed.

6

Keyboard error there. Should read and then use Campral to help curb the craving.

7

Thank you Sharon, I'll check the book out. I'm in Sussex. I've not looked into recovery programmes, will do so...

8

Hi Peter,

I've just looked up the local NHS instructions/guidance in your area and all medications approved for alcohol dependence are to be prescribed by your local alcohol recovery centres only.  I would suggest that it is worth self refering yourself as their their are 2 medications that can be used to help support your abstinence.  It would be at least useful to know if they are medically suitable for you, even if you chose not to try them.

 

9

Thanks so much for this information, I will definitely look into it.

10

Hi peter.

AA helped me a great deal...it was somewhere to go....boredom or still time is a good breeding ground for wanting a drink. 

You could meet new friends there...people like you....people that drank like you, people that drank worse than you, people that drank less than you...but people that really understand the struggle, the relapses and the desire to stay sober.

They have many quirky sayings...but after time...some of them can become  your saving grace.  I have an example: They always say "Live and let live".  Meaning...do your thing...don't worry how others are living their lives.  

There used to be a woman at work that would make my blood boil everytime she opened her mouth and on most nights after having to spend ANY time with this woman during the day...I would drink....I started to repeat this "live and let live" motto in my head everytime I felt my anxiety creeping up...and during my sobriety that is just one of the things that helped to keep me sober the "quirky" mottos. 

I was sober 8 years....I attribute ALL of that sober time to the things I learned in AA.  

Yes, they talk about God a lot...but just ignore that if it is something that annoys you.

NO..no one forces you to speak in AA. And my guess is...that after a while of you becoming comfortable with any certain group...you will WANT to speak.  I have really bad anxiety as well...and I would be nervous and awkward at times...but I knew just sitting there for that one hour...I would be sober that night....its like magic...when you leave there...you feel like you are beating the alcohol....you feel like you are getting  your control back.

Please go...there are people that don't agree with AA and some of them are in this forum...as I noticed you have not really recieved a reply on this question as to if you should go to AA or not.

All I can tell you....is just like every pill works differently on people....AA works differently for people.

Give it a try...you owe it to yourself...and another thing they say in AA is...You have tried it (to quit) your way and it didn't work...maybe it is time to try something else.  smile

I don't presently attend AA....that is just because I am very teary eyed when I think of it because my sponsor died last year...and every time I have been to a meeting as of late...all I do is think about her, miss her,,etc...it brings up too much negative emotion for me right now.  But, I have been to at least 3 meetings in the last 4 months.

Anytime you have a question about AA you can ask me - I went almost everyday for 6 of my 8 years sober.

11

Hi, I went to my first AA meeting last week and was astounded by how welcoming and friendly everyone was. No pressure to share on first meeting or ever but just bear in mind you only get out what you put in. If you take the step to go try to embrace the experience. I cried through the while meeting as it was hard but glad I went. Since going I've had a blip which I'm disappointed about. Get to the GP and warch for your first meeting.

Good luck

12

Hi Chloe, keep going...as you said to me "we can do this!". PM me to keep in touch so we can support each other through the ups and downs. X

13

Thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry to hear about your sponsor, too.

Yesterday something happened that stressed and upset me in the morning, I had to work all day and I was panicking. I had this feeling in me that I would drink (after managing a few days sober) and it was a rotten feeling. I tried to intervene and even wrote a kind of letter to myself to try and impose some reality and convince myself to step back... but still... I gave in.

This morning (with the usual morning guilt) I thought 'if only there was someone I could have spoken to or a place I could have gone - I really think that could have made the difference.' Hence wondering about AA, as I have done in the past. Thank you again, your account of it makes it sound less scary and like something I might be able to do.

14

Other things you may hear that may scare you (when you are at a meeting).

You MUST get a sponser (No, you don't HAVE to do anything...I waited at least 3 months before I got a sponser).

You MUST DO THE 12 STEPS.....(NO, your #1 goal is to stay sober...possibly go thru the 12 steps someday when you are wanting to).

Something I do think is helpful...is if you take a liking to someone....someone you heard speak...and if you can after a few meetings muster up some strength to approach that person and tell them how they have helped you...they may offer a phone # for you to have someone to talk to.  I met my best friend in AA...

She came up to me after a meeting and said I helped her...we had small chit chat...exchanged numbers...and became best buddies.  

By approaching someone it doesn't mean you want them as a sponser (unless you do).....

Somethings on Sponsors...some act just like normal friends and don't do a lot of preaching or give a lot of orders...like you MUST start Step 2...lol.   Some will give orders...and that is when I would just distance myself and stop calling them.

DO THINGS AT YOUR PACE....the goal of AA is to help us stay sober....and you CAN do that by just going to meetings for a while and not putting any added pressure on yourself.

If someone approaches  you with one of the MUSTS that I mentioned...REMEMBER ME...and REMEMBER You are an individual...Do what works for you....and your answer to those people should be...Thank you for your thoughts...I can consider them.

I had a guy tell me in a meeting (I was asked to share my story at the start of the meeting and I said NO)...The guy says to me...you NEVER say NO ....I said..Maybe you don't say NO....but I DO....He debated that I would not stay sober by saying NO......I shrugged him off.

We later became friends....AND he has passed away now...from going out drinking...I remained sober for 8 years after his comment that I would NOT.....SO.....DO YOU.

15

Hi, I live in England and I take antibuse(Disulfiram)

Prescribed by dr.

Can't drink at all on it or you'll be violently sick.

Keeps me off the drink no problem.

7 years sober 👍

16

Totally love this MISSY!   You are always so level headed, kind, compassionate!  You  are my inspiration right now.  Love you!

17

AWE...I love you too....and peter actually has me thinking of going to a meeting soon..maybe tommorow.

18

Hi Peter, I read your post to Matt. His question was "Wondering". Your answer had included all 12 of the principles of A.A. 

Honesty, Hope, Faith, Courage, Integrity, Willingness, Humility, Brotherly Love, Discipline,

Perseverance, Spiritual Awareness, Service.

These are the Principles of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous if you read back thru your post every single one of the above principles are in the response you wrote to Mat. The use of these principles each day, are a big part of A.A. That can help you find the gift of sobriety.

On line Peter there is a - Introductory pamphlet describing the kind of people A.A. are and what A.A. has learned about alcoholism. 

There is a phamplet - An introduction to the A.A. recovery program.

Frequently asked questions about A.A.

Go online and read about the program there is a PDF available to read and then decide for yourself if this is a program for you. Make it your own experience. Everyone's experience is different. 

The Serenity Prayer from A.A. I have a lot of respect for because it has brought me peace over the years. Online there is a wonderful explanation for the meaning of this prayer and its longevity since the 1800's. I need to remind myself of these qualities every day because  I must try and live with the fact that my son has suffered 20 years from AUD and slowly dying from this disease. 

I hope this brings you and everyone who is suffering from AUD peace today! 

God grant me the serenity 

To accept the things I cannot change; 

Courage to change the things I can; 

And wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world 

As it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right 

If I surrender to His Will; 

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life 

And supremely happy with Him 

Forever and ever in the next.  

Amen

So I leave the decision up to you Peter whatever you can find to help you discover the coping tools to find sobriety, your own truths and experiences to lead to a place of peace, good health. 

Today is gone while tomorrow brings another day! The choice is yours and what method you find fits your needs the best. 

 

19

Amazing response, and thank you so much for taking the time to write all this for me. It's really useful stuff for me to know. I'm going to look into it all, hopefully I'll be able to tell you how it went. I'm pleased if my thread as also made you think of going to a meeting...

20

Thanks for this great response. I'm really moved by reading the serenity prayer actually. I think I'd heard bits of it before.

The God thing doesn't bother me (though I am an agnostic) as I take it to mean 'the universal' - those things we can't comprehend that are bigger than us- I guess in the same way that you don't have to be religious or believe in a Creator God to find comfort from certain passages in the Bible, Koran etc.

I'm going to look into AA and read up a little more, maybe send them an email. I think it could be useful for me, the only thing that would stop me is a feeling that my problem isn't 'bad' enough (I know that sounds silly). The quantities I drink aren't enormous and, as of today at least, I am just about keeping it together with work etc. There's still a nagging voice in my head that says I should be able to just sort it out myself/pull myself together etc. I'll keep you posted. Thanks again.