My mother died suddenley in February 2012 and I went to England to her funeral in April, of course I was not able to see her due to the long time from death to furneral.
I thought I was coping well, then my 80 year old close friend who was like a father to me here in Italy suddenley dropped dead on his kitchen floor on the 15th April 2013, I regretted not doing any first aid to him whilst he was on the floor even though I knew he was dead and this affected me greatly. A month later I was hit hard, my whole life has changed.
In June my husband took me to Casualty where I was in and out of conciousness and had to be admitted for observation.
From my mother's death i have had every medical examination possible because they thought I had a heart problem; maybe something in my head so head scans. Everything was investigated and the final feedback - found nothing.
However for me not good news. I am taking homopathic tablets when early in the morning I wake up freaking out and these do calm me. It is the morning that is the worst after about 10 a.m. I seem to have control, but ask me to go and buy a bag for instance and I will toss and turn all night and have a great fear but once I have bought the bag I am calm.
My solution to the problem is to try to avoid commitments. I have joined a group to read with once a week to force me back into life again and go to the cafes once every two weeks to be able to mix with people.
I do not talk about my problem as no one wants to listen to a moaner and unfortunately for me I am a listener and get caught in listening to my friend's problems which at the moment make me want to strangle them!
I know I need help and my doctor (Italian) says it will take time, but how long do I have to live like a lazy freaked out moron?
Doreen,
Anxiety is a fear and feeling that you will not be able to handle an event appropriately, supposed or in reality as the event is unfolding. And, I would suggest to you that if you have had night panic attacks for two years now, that it is not acute, but "chronic".
Seems to me that your panic attacks began after the death of your mother. Fear of being alone, in the most dangerous times of the day, to me seems appropriate for some people that had very close ties to their parents. Now they are aware that they no longer have their parents, and their parents protection, even with a phone call in the late of night.
I suggest you explore this possibility with professional personnel, and realize that you must be an adult, and recognize and handle these inappropriate, but understandable feelings you do have.
Good luck to you, and I do invite you to message me privately if you so choose.
Doreen,
You are not alone. What was your anxiety about buying a bag? Was it going out to a public store, making a decision, carrying out someone else's request? Please see a therapist who believe in working out your emotional issues cognitvely rather than putting you on medicine right away. There are coping mechanisms when you first become anxious. Most of what we worry/anxious about never happens. Try to think "I am going to be alright; there's nothing to fear." Relax, breath deeply, and replace anxious thoughts with good ones. Thanking God for the health that you do have.
I live in Italy so visiting a therapist is not possible. I am reading up on the subject and making changes in my life such as walking on the running machine to gain more exercise and feel good chemicals. I am using a ladycare menopause gadget as a friend feels that the menopause could be contributing even though I went through it at 35 years old and I am feeling a little improvement but it is early days yet. I am going out and meeting other women to have a chat general not about myself and keep doing my relaxation be it deep breathing or listening to healing C.D.s I have gone through a bsad two weeks but think I am coming through the worse now but it comes and goes. My life has been filled with problems and I am succeeded to come through them even not killing myself which was difficult. I am a fighter and surviver and will succeed just impatient!