Adult Circumcision

Men's health
1

I've just turned 30. When my brother was 4 years old he was circumcised due to difficulty retracting his foreskin. Even though I had similar difficulties I never reported this to my parents as I saw how much pain he had been in.

My sex life in my 20s was very disastisfying, probably due to a of lack of sensitivity, as, at this stage, I can't get my foreskin to come back at all (also making it impossible to clean my penis which makes it itch sometimes.) I have never had an orgasm from penetrative sex or oral sex.

I went to a urologist and after examining me he recommended circumcision, although he said it wasn't essential as I had no health problems resulting from it. He said that before he did the operation he wanted to talk with me at length about the pros and cons so I understood all aspects of it. He said he couldn't guarente that my problems with reaching orgasm would automatically be fixed by the operation. Unfortunately due to anxiety I wasn't able to have this conversation with him on the day of my examination. To go back to him would cost me £150 which I don't want to spend on what basically would amount to a chat. I think the main cons I've read about seem to be that I would loose sensitivity as my exposed penis would be constantly rubbing off my trousers and I'd lose nerve endings - but as I've never been able to experience much in terms of sensitivity anyway I think the only way is probably up.

Any and all experiences, pros and cons and opinions on this topic are welcome.

 

2

Firstly, it's crazy to circumcise a four-year-old because they can't retract.  Most boys that age can't retract, and it's completely normal.  I was about ten before I could retract, and I think my son was about the same age.  If you can't retract when you're 30 though, that's a different matter.  Did the urologist suggest stretching exercises or a steroid cream?  That will fix most cases of phimosis, but without a pic, it isn't clear how severe your phimosis is.  A GP can prescribe a steroid cream btw.  Even if surgery is required though, then preputioplasty or a dorsal slit may also fix the problem, and would be less invasive than circumcision.

How far can you get the prepuce opening to go easily?  1cm across maybe, or half way down the glans??  The urologist was right to say that circumcision won't necessarily fix problems with reaching orgasm with oral or vaginal sex.  How easy is it for you to have an orgasm when you masturbate though?

Some men live with phimosis, but personally, I'd want it fixed, even if that meant surgery, and especially if I couldn't have an orgasm when having sex.  Like I said though, circumcision may not necessarily fix that.

If you want to add a pic, you need to be on a PC or laptop with a large window.  If you are, then you should see some extra icons towards the top right of where you type, and the right hand icon (which I think is supposed to look like the sun over hills) will add images.

The pic I've attached here shows the icons: 

3

Personally, I'm very anti-circumcision, especially in childhood. I doubt it would resolve your sensitivity issue as the exposed glans skin would toughen (keratinise) with the contact with your clothing. Why pay out for something even your urologist is hesitant about? I agree with ml66uk (I'm also a Briton in the UK - we don't routinely circumcise so we have a different norm to USA men and boys) there are other things to try. Have you talked with your brother about his sex life to compare notes?

4

I too would not go for circumcision until you have tried stretching over an extended period of months.  I was around 15 when I realised that I could not expose the glans / head of the penis, unlike my brother who could.  I decided to set-about stretching the foreskin to see if I could start to expose more and more of the glans - this took some months before I recognised I could actually expose more of the head.  It probably took me around 2 years to be able to stretch the foreskin so that I could expose MOST of the glans.  Then, via masturbation and stretching the skin further down towards the body, bit, by bit, over the next 3 decades - I was able to reveal the entire head of the penis!

To try stretching with the help of a steroid cream [I use clobetasol 0.05%]: don't just apply it, you need to learn how to fully work it in to the skin to get any benefit.  AND ONLY EVER apply it to the foreskin area and to whatever part of the head of the penis that you can expose!  Keep the steroid cream away from your main skin area / shaft surface of your penis.  If you have applied and do what I suggest below ensure you have removed / scrubbed off the steroidal cream from you fingertips!

ESSENTIALLY, you need to learn how to be 'skin kindly' to the entire skin on your penis.  Think more of a gentle massage action, rather than anything that resembles masturbation.  Slow, deliberate movement is best.  Learn how NOT to get to the point of erection, but, be partly erect, rather than fully, or even completely flaccid.  

Try first (very gently) with the penis slightly pointing downward away from the body (I find the edge of the bed / top of the stairs is the best place to do this) drawing the foreskin forward from the glans as much as you can and relax the skin back.  Doing this after you have had a shower is a really good time to do this. 

Find the massage action that works for you.  I would not recommend using oil based lubes, baby oil / gel, or popular hand, skin or body lotions as this can build up over an extended period of time to be a severe dermatological reaction.  I use "Aloha" that you get from "Savers" shops - it is marketed as a after sun gel and it has no adverse reaction on my skin (again, I would not use this on the head of my penis anyway, only the main part of the skin of the shaft of the penis).  YOU can do this on your own, or eventually build this into the foreplay part, or afterwards of your sexual practices with your partner.

The ideal exercise routine to build would be: shower (I also find I can do this when getting out of bed as the penis is naturally warm at the time) and fully dry the penis.  Use a water based lube (eventually you will learn how to do this completely dry [without any lube]) and give your penis a relaxing massage.  Again, very gently, stretch the foreskin forward from the head of the penis, as far as it will comfortably go.  How far you can initially do this is dependant on the amount of loose, foreskin, that your penis actually has.  After a period of weeks (certainly not just a matter of 8 or 10 days) you will find that when you are able to relax into the routine that works best for your penis, that your foreskin will react in a more positive manner to being stretched.

DO NOT become eager to try exposing more of the head of your penis for a few months - yes, you can initially gently, in the extreme, try pulling the skin back towards the body - but, don't expect too much.  AND certainly, do NOT try vigorous masturbation and stretching towards the body to see what happens as it is ALL too easy to tear your foreskin!!!

Gently does it, rather than over-eager experimentation is the way to go.  Whatever you do you need to try something that up till now that you haven't been doing during your adult life.  In terms of your sex life, by doing what I suggest, things on that front should start to improve too!  If they don't you can ask your GP whether they can refer you for some basic sex therapy - do not neglect this part of your life as this is essentially for your overall wellbeing.  If you live in the UK, relationship organisations such as "Relate" have a sex therapy service and you only need to pay what you can afford (usually).  If you live in another country, try searching on the internet for relationship services near to where you live.

Good Luck with whatever you do ... but essentially, do something different to what you have so far in life ... 

 

5

This issue seems to be appear fairly regularly on the forum and yet this is the first account I've seen of a complete self-treatment in the six months or so that i have been following these posts.

Thanks for providing it.

6

Thanks for the feedback Pepasan!  Although I was aware of the Patient web site for some time, I was completely unaware of the discussion forums on here - I was therefore completely surprised to see people were posting concerns about penis conditions similar to what I have experienced myself.

As I state above, I have something of a frustrating relationship with my penis for my complete adult life.  I recognised however that I needed to do something about it myself. 

Although we have a relatively excellent, and free healthcare system here in the UK, at 15 to 18 years of age I would NEVER have gone to a Doctors practice to ask whether anything could be done with my foreskin that, at 15 YOA I could only expose a tiny amount of the head / glans, and trying to expose more was quite painful.

PLEASE feel free (ANYONE) to SHARE my initial response, above to funkyeyepatch - if it can be of use to helping anyone in a similar situation with their foreskin ....

I have just joined the penis disorders forum earlier this week.  I thought it would be a good use of my time if I could share my experiences with others.  Specifically, with this discussion topic, as a doctor and specialist had both recommended (I was 54 YOA at the time) I get circumcised and I had chosen not to do this, I thought this would be good to share. 

While this has been a life-long struggle to expose the vast majority of my glans (there remains a small part on the lower of the glans that remains attached to my foreskin) - I was able to make real progress with exposing more and more of the glans within, probably, a two year period.  Going forward to now, I can honestly say that I have more sensitivity, and my sexual practices are even more pleasurable now, than they were in my early adult life!

 

7

Hi

my brother was circumcized because he got an infection which needed to be treated. I began a process of stretching a few months ago after originally visitng my GP and discussing the problem. i can maybe get it back half way down the head, i cant get it near the bottom part. It doesnt retract at all during sex or masturbation. I can achieve orgasm fairly easily through masturbation.

Nothing has been mentioned about steroid creams, I even visited a pharmacist who claimed she'd never heard of such a thing.

8

It sounds like you have moderate to severe phimosis.  Have you seen any improvement with stretching?  I'm surprised your GP didn't suggest trying a steroid cream, and can't understand how a pharmacist would say she'd never heard of such a thing.  Which country are you in?  I think you can get betamethasone 0.05% over the counter in the USA, but a doctor can prescribe something stronger.

There's more information about steroid creams here:

https://patient.info/health/topical-steroids-excluding-inhaled-steroids

https://patient.info/medicine/betamethasone-for-severe-inflammatory-skin-conditions

or you can google "topical steroid wiki" (I can't post links except to this site)

It's possible that surgery may be required anyway, but that doesn't necessarily mean circumcision, and I'd definitely try stretching and steroid creams first.

If your brother only had one infection, then it would be unusual for him to be circumcised btw.  Circumcised boys get UTIs too, and girls get 3-4 times as many infections down there as boys, but surgery wouldn't be considered for them.  The NNT (number needed to treat) for newborn boys is 111, which means that for 111 boys circumcised at birth, only one UTI would be prevented.

9

as I explained in my initial detailed response (8 days ago / Sat Jan 13) while not being too eager with your stretching to avoid tearing the foreskin, if you have now been stretching for some months you can become a little more adventurous with the amount of pressure you apply.  Particularly, if you have now already been drawing the skin towards the body - try light pressure at first, slowly build the amount of pressure you are using.

The thing to avoid is you may get to the point where you think the entire head / glans pops out:  if this occurs do not try more vigorous masturbation to 'see how it feels' - just keep the stretching going over a number of weeks / months and try every now and again slightly more pressure.  After an extended period of months (perhaps even as much as between a year / 2 years!) bit by bit more of the glans will emerge.

When you can (safely) expose the entire head - and here, it depends whether there is much of the foreskin fused to the glans - particularly, the underside / lower part - you are likely to get a sudden elation of finally achieving it!

One further tip I can offer is using a Penis Pump / Developer: not that you may be 'undersized' in any way - but certainly after a number of months of stretching you could try one.  And, the benefit I found was that when I placed the penis in the cylinder I found that it was best to pull all of the loose skin of the shaft of the penis, AND all the scrotal skin so that it was not drawn into the cylinder as I increased the pressure and I feel this helped in the process of greater exposure of the glans / head.  In fact I may never have achieved full exposure of the head of my penis without doing this.

If you want to give this a go, I can guide you on the make - and how you can ensure to start using it properly (certainly, easy does it at first!).

Good Luck ......

10

hey bro, did the stretching help and what techniques did you use?

11

i know this is a couple years past but did you end of going for circumcision?

12

Hi Darren
are you in the same boat?