Advice needed please

Children's health
1

Hi, I could really do with some advice regarding my 10 year old child's behaviour and well being. Over the last couple of years I've picked up on things which I feel aren't normal (That's probably the wrong way of putting it...I should say different from other children.) I know all children aren't the same, but I feel if I don't act now this could have a big impact on her life. Not sure where to go for help.

Firstly my child is so loving, caring, very friendly and trustworthy. She shows empathy by the bucket loads and anyone going through a difficult time she feels this. So much so certain situations can reduce her to tears. Shes very emotional and even opening a Xmas present she gets very overwhelmed and cries. Socially she wants to get along with everyone and struggles at school when children are horrible, she'll get emotional and can't understand Why? Nor can she walk away, she will keep going back until she is accepted. In terms of work I've noticed how messy her work is in books etc, she's easily distracted and doesn't have the patience to complete work. Homework is a nightmare usually spend a whole day trying to get her to do her work, even then we have to sit and go through everything for her to understand. Maths is a massive struggle she can't understand maths questions in written form and every question has to be broken down. With long multiple questions sometimes she'll forget what she's actually doing. I've brought this up the last three years at school as maths is a real issue and all I get is she's fine in class. She has always been sensitive to noise, loud bangs and anything unusal will make her panic and worry what it is?! She still wets the bed on and off especially if she is worried amd anxious about something. In terms of behaviour she is well behaved but struggles when it comes to playing a board game or anything fun will soon turn to tears and a melt down. Also I've noticed more so lately that if I give her 2/3 instructions she can't seem to follow them all through and will forget what I've asked her to do. Getting changed is a nightmare she doesn't like labels, tags on clothes and anything tight she hates and won't wear. This will then cause another melt down.

She likes routine and seems to do the same thing over and over again. For example: watch the same film/programme, look over family videos and pictures over and over again!!! We struggle going shopping or for a meal etc as she will soon get fed up and say people are irritating her. Can anyone give me some advice as to where I go from here please. TIA

2

Hello,

I have Autism too and this sounds exactly like my childhood!

I could never fit in with my peers at school and hated the sensation of tags in clothing and rough clothes in general (still do).

Noise and lights hurt me when I am more stressed as I can’t cope with the sensory overload sometimes.

You need to see your GP and ask to be referred to help with a diagnosis. Tell the GP all of her symptoms and they will refer her to a specialist.

It wasn’t until I was the age of 13 that they realised I was Autistic. I had a major breakdown at my middle school as the noise and bullying became too much. After seeing my GP about it that was when the ball got rolling for me.

Also if she does get diagnosed she can have help at school, such as Special Education Needs (I think they have changed the term for this now) and you can claim DLA/PIP depending on how the condition effects her everyday life.

Hope this helps,

Sammy

3

Thank you so much for reading my post and replying and sharing your situation. I've never put everything together until recently and released this can't be ignored. I mean I'm not sure if school would say anything or is it down to the parent to start the ball rolling. The last time I did regarding maths homework I brought up how I feel her messy work is an interpretation of what's going on in her head when she trys to work out sums. Not sure if the teacher agreed or thought I was crazy!! Feel so bad....

4

Hello,

You have every right to bring up any concerns to the teachers about your child! That’s what great parents do!

If the teachers won’t listen  to your concerns then they are obviously not professional at their job at all. 

Don’t be afraid to it up to the headteacher if need be to get your concerns across and explain that you will be involving your GP to help your daughter.

My psychiatrist and psychologist (who both diagnosed me) had me forceably removed from my middle school after the teachers kept failing in their duty to help me with my education. I was moved to a unit in another school called the ARC (Autism Recreation Centre).

There are services out there to help support you and your child. Never forget that, even when you find teachers who ignore you. I have had plenty of that in the past with the schools I attended so you’re not alone.

Take care,

Sammy