Okay, so about two months ago now I got my tonsils out due to about 7 years of suffering with frequent tonsillitis. I stayed off school for two weeks, as advised by my consultant, and went back once the two weeks was up. Three days after returning back to school, I woke up one morning with a dry, aching and burning throat- however a different pain to the tonsillectomy. I went straight to the doctor to get some antibiotics because the hospital never gave me any post-op ones. Stayed off until half term as the doctor told me and then as soon as back to school came around- I didn't want to get out of bed, not because I was tired and lazy, because I couldn't face the workload (catching up of almost a months worth of GCSE work is difficult). I got myself into a bit of a state about it all and was hysterically crying, and I think I may have had a panic attack. Anyway, I managed to get myself to school and I was fine, until the next week. Strep throat. Same thing, more pills and time off school.
That was very long, so here is my point. People have, including all of my friends, been saying 'you're like never here,' and 'omg Cerys you are always ill,' and then laugh. I just kind of laugh it off, at the beginning (I was constantly missing school because of tonsillitis so I am used to the comments) it never used to get to me. But now, well yeah- it does. I feel that I am alone and nobody understands what I am going through and they basically think that it is a joke. Only a handful of people ask if I am feeling better, the others just point out that I am actually at school. I don't really know what my point is, but i have just been feeling really down and kind of worthless, like my health isn't anything to care about- just laugh about. Two other girls in my class had 'emergancy operations' and we all signed a card for them. I had a pretty long awaited operation and did I get anything? The reason being, 'you are always ill' and my so called best friend said that. The whole card thing probably sounds pathetic, but I couldn't care less if I got one or not, it it the fact that they just brush me off because I am never there. Sometimes I just completely breakdown, like I did this morning, and I don't want to be in school anymore. Some days it is different and I am buzzing to get up and going, but sadly other days it's very different. I want to stay in bed, but not asleep, just lie there. I can't go and see my school counseller because I know her and she knows most of my family so that just makes thing awkward. I don't want to tell my mum because she thinks that I am a hypochindriac who has everything wrong. So yeah, any advice would be much appreciated. Sorry that was so log but I thought you needed to know the whole story.
Cerys.