Am I going mad?

Treatment and medication
1

Hey

I've been reading a few of the posts on the forum and you all sound so supportive. I'm hoping that perhaps some of you have had similar experiences to mine and might be able assist me in normalising myself...coz at the moment I feel like I'm losing the plot.

I was on Sertaline Hydrochloride for about 18 months and also betablockers to deal with the symptoms of anxiety. A bad chest infection meant that I had to stop the beta blockers because I was having bad asthma type symptoms. However, the downside of that is that my anxiety levels have gone through the roof. It hasn't helped that I was mugged 4 weeks ago which knocked me for six and left me scared of leaving the house on my own. When I spoke to my doctor about going back on the beta blockers to deal with the crippling anxiety she decided that it would be best for me to change antidepressants and go on to Citalopram which should deal with both te depression and anxiety.

I've now been on them for 10 days...I know this isn't a long time at all but what with doing an switchover from one type of antidepressant to another I guess I thought that it would be a relatively smooth transition.

But it doesn't feel like it. I'm crying or on the verge of crying all the time. My stomach is in knots and I feel so shaky. I'm having a terrible time with my best friend and we are arguing all the time. Part of me thinks it's because he is just extremely unreasonable but I'm also thinking that these tablets are turning me into someone I don't recognise, someone who is argumentative and over senstive.

Can anyone relate to this?

I'm trying to make an appointment with my GP but in true national health style I can't get to see a doc for a week. I'm on the waiting list for MIND to have counselling and hopefully I should get an appointment very soon. But while I'm waiting for these I'm struggling.

Hope you can help.

Many thanks

Leeka

2

Hi Leeka

I think what you are experiencing is agitation - this is also one of the many side effects of citalopram :cry:

I used to hide away in my room when feeling like that as some not so pleasnt words used to fight to get out of my mouth whenever someone tried to have a conversation with me. :shock: :twisted: :shock:

Also, as your anxiety levels are very high at the moment you won't have much 'patience' as all your energy will be focused on trying to cope with the anxiety.

Try and find some quiet time for yourself while your body adjusts to the citalopram - explain to your friend and others you are in regular contact with about the side effects of these tablets and ask them to try and be patient with you - let them know you are aware of how you are behaving at the moment - I', quite sure they will do their best to understand - they will most certainly support you and probably be a little more thoughtful as to how they communicate with you at this moment in time.

I also found by posting on here of my feelings - ranting, rambling, whatever others might see it as, helped me not only cope but also helped me become more aware of my own feelings, problems and areas that I needed to address.

Yes, people here are extremely supportive, and I'm more than sure that if you continue to post here you will also receive that support and be offering others your support.

Even just posting about your own experiences here can and does help many, many people. I haven't got a clue how many people come here and just read, but for everyone of them that does, by posting of your own experiences will be helping them realise they are not alone with this terrible illness and also help them find the answers they are looking for if they have just started taking citalopram.

So Leeka, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for not just reading the posts here but for also taking the time to respond and share your own experiences.

I know when I first went on citalopram I searched them out on the net - how many times do people do that? For anything - not just these drugs. How many times have we been left feleing frustrated because all we can ever find is what it said on the label but nothing on personal experiences.

Stick with us Leeka, together we can all help each other.

love

Melbi x

By the way...

A very warm welcome to this forum. x

3

hi leeka,i went on citalopram for anxiety and panic attacks.I got so bad i became agrophobic.I wouldnt go out just look out the window all day.Im coming into my 6th week on them now.Ive been alot better,i go out now and manage to go shopping,couldnt do it b4!My doc put mine upto 20mg last week,so not feeling to good at the moment.anxiety has been awfull today and i thought i wa going to have a panic attack.but i never.i know its the side affects again because my body is getting used to the higher dose,i take things day to day as last week i felt great now i feel naff.i know that good day is coming again soon.I could have easily stayed in and gone to bed today in tears as i felt so bad,but i managed to drive to my mums and she took me for lunch which was realy nice.Made me feel a bit better.It all takes time,hopefully day to day you will notice a change,i did..stick with it and keep posting..lots of people are here for you.

take care.kim.xxx

Hope your ok today melbi...did you have a good weekend.xx

hope your ok to kate.xx

4

Hi Leeka

Sounds like you're going through hell at the moment.

Melbi & Kim have pretty much covered it off. These drugs can take a while to work and some of the initial effects can make you feel worse! Do try and talk to those close to you and let them know how you are feeling/what you're going through. When you feel like this, isolation can make it worse still.

Most importantly, take time to be kind to yourself. It's so hard to do sometimes but really important.

Let us know how you're getting on

Best regards

5

Good morning Leeka, Kim, Stiltman and all :D

I'm doing good thanks - arghhhh! Soon be Thursday - I think once that is out of the way (no matter which way it goes) I'll be feeling even better.

I just wish I could take you all by the hand and take you with me along my road of feeling good.

I have my first CBT at 1pm today.

I'll let you all know how it goes.

Melbi xxx

6

Would be interested to hear how the CBT goes Have been thinking of looking into it myself as well.