Am I having a blip/relapse? Really scared

Mental health
1

Hi everyone! I apologize if this post runs long, and I am going to keep it as concise as possible.

I really thought I had made a turning point with my anxiety! After many scary and miserable weeks, I felt 95% back to being myself. I went on a vacation that I had planned before my anxiety and panic set in, which involved multiple planes and being far away from the safety of home.I did great and had so much fun, and I really thought I was back to normal. The only signs of anxiety I had during vacation was a worry that my usual symptoms would come and ruin my great time, but they never manifested! I went to a zoo with my best friend, tried out many new restaurants, rode a carousel, and went to a nerd convention with thousands of people.

That was a little over two weeks ago and now I feel like I am falling backwards. I have been struggling badly with my anxiety and panic again. I have been having pervasive feelings of unreality, numbness, nausea, headaches, body jolts, feeling burning hot, no appetite, frequent urination, chest tightness and pain, and the normal feeling that I am going to pass out and/or ultimately die, or that something is terribly wrong with me and the doctors have missed it. Just before I left on my trip, I had an EKG and blood work done and both came back normal.

Two days after I returned home, my mom had emergency surgery and had to have one of her legs amputated below the knee. I have been back and forth to the hospital and rehabilitation to see her, which is a lengthy drive (I had been scared to drive once my anxiety and panic set in). I coped fine the first few days, but since Sunday I have been doing terribly. I felt very unreal when I visited her last night, and I woke up having a panic attack last night. I have not had nocturnal panic attacks in weeks.

(I apologize if it's TMI for the gentlemen out there, but I am also currently on my menstrual cycle and I have endometriosis, so this is always a painful and sick time for me as well - not sure if it could also be a contributing factor.)

Is it the stress of my mom's situation that could be causing this, and/or maybe it's just a normal relapse after feeling nearly back to 100% again? I had to call in from work today because I feel so exhausted from the panic attack last night, plus I am so nauseous. I am so tempted to go to the ER or nearest urgent care because I am struggling with these "what if?" thoughts so badly right now.

Any advice and/or reassurance would be so appreciated. I feel like I am back on the crazy train after I had finally gotten off and was heading towards full recovery! It's scaring me badly.

2

Hi sorry to hear about your mum and your release.

Yeah the slightest thing can set me back. I felt ok then had a huge panic attack on my way home the other day and had to stay indoors for a couple days. It's hard to ignore the what ifs, but you need to resist the urge to Google it. If you had blood work and EKG before you left then you are fine , I take reassurance in such things to. You pretty much described how I get to the letter..I even had a mid sleep panic attack the other night.

Do you take meds, see your doctor but not for any other reason than to get help with your mind.

Take care

3

This is completely normal for anxiety sufferers.

Honestly, I don't believe anxiety is curable. I have struggled with it for 8 years (I'm 28 now) and I really believe that all you can do is learn to cope with it so it doesn't affect you as much. But it will always kinda be there, hiding in the background. And I deff think it pops it's ugly face out when there are triggers, such as you not feeling well with your menstrual issues or your mom in the hospital stressing you out.

Mannny times you will hear people say that they are feeling happy and normal and then something traumatic or stressful happens and there anxiety is right back in the open. I think it's just inevitable for us anxiety sufferers.

I highly suggest seeing a therapist if you haven't yet, one that specializes in anxiety. I do and it helps me a LOT. I've learned how to cope better when my anxiety does pop up so it doesn't have such a debilitating feeling on my life.

4

Hi Paul, thank you so much for replying and your kind words. It is so frustrating to feel good and then suddenly have a huge wave of panic come back and make you feel like you have taken ten steps back. I tried to run out today and get lunch and I made the trip, but I had a lot of anxiety and symptoms crop up when I did - it's disheartening. I hope this will pass soon for us both. 

5

Philly, I definitely agree - it first cropped up when I was 11, debilitated me when I was a teen, seemingly disappeared for years and now I'm 26 and it's back and has its teeth in me, and has since February now. I am currently seeing a therapist who does EMDR treatment, but I missed my last session because of my mom's hospitalization. Hopefully I can see her again soon. Thank you so much for replying.

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I’m sorry to what about your mum and I certainly think something like that can cause your anxiety to show it’s face again. 

Sometimes I find when I’m doing great and there is no trigger my healthy anxiety will come back and I’ll start worrying about everything again. 

The trick is to NOT google ( My biggest mistake) and try not be too hard on yourself because the more you feed your symptoms the more the grow.

Hope this helps