Hiya,
Does anyone here with M.E. have communication difficulties which result in not being able to understand what someone else is saying and having to get another person to explain what they mean? Example: I was on bus yesterday trying to use a new top up bus pass. I swiped it on the swipey thing - a red cross came up (like the X factor!).I presume that meant-'Not worked' (it beeped as well) I had just topped it up - so I said to the driver-oh Ive ony just topped it up. I tried to swipe it again but same X appeared. The driver snarled at me- "No! It's done!!" and repeated again "No youve done it now!" I thought he meant - "its done, thats it now, youve mucked it up" because of his angry tone and body language. I had to get the person behind me to explain what the now angry driver(!) had meant. Only then did I understand what the driver had meant. Frustrating!
Anyone else had this problem?
i do find tonality at times not undertsandable.... for me its mostly humour i dont get... used to have a good sense of humour, now its actually causing me problems at home... i dont always recognise micky taking or some aspects of one off humour... i see it more often as being a criticism of me or not doing things quickly enough etc It frustrates my wife no end, what i used to laugh at i now react to...on the basis it is a complaint...
I have this problem too since my childhood, I hear a joke for instance, I would be the only one who can't laugh, cause I didn't understand what it was about. I search the net a while ago, I read that this condition called slow person. It's very annoying as I have difficulty to interact with others.
I find if it is the first time I have done something I lose my way . The brain doesn't seem to want to know
Thanks for replying Andrew- thats interesting how you misread humour as a complaint now. I wonder (as M.E has some similar traits as autism ie hyperaccusis, photosensitivity etc) if it accentuates any autistic spectrum symptoms which may already be there (in my case- not saying you are have ASD). I have mild aspergers and the miscommunicatiion with folk is a while lot worse now I have M.E.
Hi Nevart, thanks for replying. Bless, 'Slow person' sounds very derogatory (and old fashioned label) to me. We are who we are, it takes every kind of people to make the world go around hey :-).
you could well be right...interesting....
l,m the same and being older a little deaf to add to it, so anyone who doesnt speak clearly and at a reasonable tone, its like listening to a foreign language, such fun ringing call centre,s, not good with accents, l struggle to understand my own son, doesnt open his mouth enough, forever saying `sorry what did you say`, and if complicated l lose the will to live and tune off, cant process it, in writing either, instructions for new items 8 pages of them, forget it go for trial and error. l read different words to whats stated, add poor memory to it, like stumbling in the dark, even reading now, which l always loved, now a problem, lack of concentration l guess. Having to now check messages as typing different letters or missing one or two off. But l can laugh at myself some of the times, l guess being older it doesnt affect as much as when younger. Yesterday someone said put this phone no in your mobile,l had to say forget it, take l5min, just write it down for me. But l can also over react, then feel bad. l guess it does come across to some as being slow, but its not lack of intelligence, average l guess, just processing it quick or fully. l live in hope.
Never mind not understanding others, I can barely understand myself at times, or read or type. At times it can be so bad I go into hibernation through sheer embarrassment.
The kids find it funny that I am absolutely incomprehensible, and I play it down but inside I feel terabyte and frustrated.
It is the same when trying to understand others too....it just does not register.
Such is life!
I'm the same I don't understand what people are saying I'm sure my partner is getting fed up with repeating himself several times a day and then I don't understand his jokes anymore I feel like he is criticising me and he isn't and has never don't that.
Then I hear myself saying the most weirdest things I will mean to say something and it will come out completely wrong and it can take me 3 or 4 times to say it right and I think my spelling has got worse but the spelling could just be me not the m.e
Hi Retriever, thanks for replying. Its the frontal cortex part of our brain apparently which is atrophied and therefore doesnt function properly anymore.Hence a funny old foggy way of living.
Hi Lynne, thanks for replying- I totally relate to everything youve said (especially call centres and accents lol! and they appear to talk very very quickly, or so it appears to the M.E. brain). I agree, its definitely not a lack of intelligence, just the way M.E. affects the brain hey.
Hi Agentdove, thanks for replying. It is frustrating and it can be so isolating as well as you've said- almost like living in a bubble hey.
Hi Rachel, thanks for replying. I am now starting to understand that those of us with M.E brains must read emotions/interractions incorrectly - both yourself and Andrew who commented above have said the exact same thing re humour being read as cristicism - and in my example above, I was convinced the bus driver was angry which didnt make sense either. Interesting hey. With spelling- Ive definitely noticed a drop in ability- Im having to google words now to check spelling, and then google again as they dont look right.
I'm definitely the same I have also used Google speak because words just don't look right and it's getting worse at work I'm having to use word to check words I sent a letter out that was meant to say consumption levels but put competition instead I must have gone over the letter 8 times and still thought it was right :-)
Hi
Interesting discussion developing here! I too have never understood what is so funny about jokes, they rarely make me laugh and that goes for sitcoms too. As for the language question I find it hard to process what someone is saying. Sometimes it feels like I know the words but can't quite figure southward being said, or I just miss it completely! This has definitely worsened just before, during and after my recent relapse.
Paz
Hi Mazpaz,
It is interesting hey. From what everyone is saying, including yourself, Its very clear now that this is a M.E. symptom. Thank you for replying : Im so grateful to be able to post concerns on here- you tend to think youre going slightly insane if it wasnt for the support of folk on here.
I guess you're right flowerpotlady, we are who we are. But I also have seriousness problems understanding people, I also need to ask if they don't mind to repeat what they said, and I was never able to take on a Jobe that involves talking on the phone.
Hi, thanks for starting this discussion. I have never been able to tell anyone just how difficult I find hearing what other people say. And also understanding what they mean by what they say. I also have times when I cannot say what I mean. As another has said in reply to you, I mean to say one thing and something dupifferent comes out, or I just cannot form or find the word I need. I had not thought of it as ME related. I have often worried about early senility. I have convinced myself that it is the call centre personnel that are the problem, and ask them to repeat or slow down because I cannot understand their accent. But that is not so easy to do when face to face, and I can feel quite stupid when I can't understand what I have just been told or asked.
Hi, I can relate to your problem. My sons know when I can't grasp what they are saying. Apparently I have a glazed look in my eyes. With others I find it works well when I say, "I'm sorry but I can't listen as fast as you can talk".