Hello,
Recently, I have had multiple panic attacks in a row and I would get anxious about one thing, get over it, then it would be on to the next thing, I constantly find myself ruminating and obsessing over a certain thought and I can't seem to let it go. I recently experienced derealization after my last panic attack and everything that used to seem so normal felt some foreign. I honestly felt like I wasn't really there, like I was in a dream or something. I have been on different meds, but I finally have found one that helps. Citalopram 20mg. It has made me rationalize things a little bit better. However, the main thing I am anxious about now is my environment/sight. It sounds stupid and hard to explain. I constantly ruminate on how the colors and images that I see make up what I am seeing day to day and I have no control over it. Almost like a puzzle or filter that has been pushed in my face and I am forced to look at it. Almost makes me feel trapped by what I am seeing. I know that sounds strange, but it just feels as though I am extremely self aware and I hate that I am not thinking normal like I used to. I just want things to feel normal or want to be able to accept that I can't control certain things, but for some reason it is really hard to let go and I feel like no one understands how I am feeling. I need to quite letting irrational thoughts and observations give me anxiety and stop viewing my environment irrationally. Anyone else feel this way or know what's going on? OCD, Anxiety, both? Recommendations?