Hi, I'm not even sure what I'm trying to ask specifically, but felt like venting. So yeah, I've been anxious about so many things. Examples include: -The same old conversations repeating in my head a million times -Constantly worrying if I'm a bad person(from past experiences and stuff), and just those past experiences playing -I have a phobia that I'm constantly worrying about. I try to avoid seeing it on TV, avoid talking about it, and just worry a lot that it'll happen to me. -Dark stuff on TV playing in my head -Worries about losing things(like people or like my favorite things disappearing over time) -My mind just making weird connections(seeing boiling water on a stove and imagining it falling on me, for example) So yeah, there's some examples. I know I should ask for help, but it's just hard. I still live with my family(I'm 20), and I'll need their help to get meds. For one, even though they're my family I feel too shy to simply walk up and ask. It's not that I don't think they'll accept me, I'm just shy. It makes me feel vulnerable and I don't feel like they'll understand me at heart and I'll worry they'll talk about me. I have seen therapists before, but past experiences have somewhat sucked out my desire to go. I'm shy and awkward when I'm talking about my feelings there and don't get them all out, and I think back to my very first appointment where I was too shy to much and the therapist assumed it was a different medical problem I have that was making me anxious(and it really wasn't). I've read like I could write it down, but I did that once and it makes me uncomfortable and anxious them reading it out loud. If this makes sense, I worry that like talking about that problem reminds them that it exists? Like if I talk about my phobia, it reminds them that the danger exists and that it'll somehow be more likely to happen. So yeah, any advice on how to get help?
i relate, im 20 as well, maybe we can talk sometime
I am sorry you feel so down and anxious. Are you currently on any medication for your anxiety?
Sounds like you have been a worrier for a very long time. Are you a home body? Are you in lockdown for the virus? I say this because it sounds to me like your brain is lacking stimulus. If your brain lacks stimulus for any length of time it WILL create its own stimulus, usually in the form of weird thoughts and worry. The brain is a powerful thing and can create many problems if you dont take care of it. Its like any other part of the body in the fact that it gets sick and if you dont feed it stimuli, it will create its own excitement, even at the cost of making you feel miserable. It may be just a matter of staying busy for you. Staying busy creates excitement for the brain. So you need to get out more an enjoy yourself and stay BUSY.
If i am wrong, then maybe its time to see a different Therapist, unless you like yours, but sounds like he/she is not grasping your problem too well. It happens. But you need to be proactive and make a choice if this is the right therapist for you. You have to get those feelings out, you have to vent, if you carry your problems around with you all the time, you will drive yourself crazy. You seem to also be shy, and there is nothing wrong with that, but always being so cautious around people can be a bad thing. People can hurt you and say mean things, but not all people are like that. Life is about taking chances, you have to put yourself out there to take a chance, sometimes it works out, other times it doesnt but you got to keep trying. Life is like a rollercoaster ride, some ups, some downs, but in the end, worth the ride. I hope this helps. I hope you write back. You are not alone.
yes olivine, David is absolutely right! Life is a roller coaster, sometimes good and sometimes not so good. But we have to take chances in life to get the help that we need. If you don’t like the counselor that you have, go to another one.
Believe me, these counselors have heard everything and anything that you tell them they have to keep private and can’t talk about it to anyone else. That is the law! they would get in trouble if they talked about your private conversations. So you can relax about that.
therapists have heard absolutely everything from patients so anything you tell them they would not be shocked or surprised. And remember this is their job. They chose this profession because they want to help people and they want to hear about what is troubling you. So there’s no need to feel shy.
I do you think that you are overthinking a lot of things which causes your mind to feel uneasy, fearful and negative.
I know how that feels because I did that for many years until I got a little older and realized how much overthinking I was doing which was making me miserable!
I would also dwell in what happened in the past then realized what a complete waste of time that is! The past is gone and it doesn’t exist anymore. The future doesn’t exist because it’s not here yet. The only thing that exists is the present moment.
Old conversations from the past, things we did in the past and everything else from the past doesn’t make one bit of difference now! Let it go. Focus on NOW and what you can do NOW to improve your life and how you feel about everything. it’s a complete waste of your life when you dwell in the past.
one thing you could stop doing that would help your mental health is to avoid watching dark things and scary things on TV. Our brain absorbs everything that we watch or listen to. Focus on more positive things or things that make you laugh and smile.
you need to be a fighter for yourself! I was also very shy for many years but I finally got rid of that because I knew that nobody was going to take care of me except for myself and I have to be strong and positive. You can do this! Take care of yourself 
there are some great meditations on YouTube for things like anxiety, fear, sleep, negative thinking, etc. I listen to these every day and they really help. Also you can listen to positive self affirmations on YouTube! Check them out
Hi,
Lack of stimulus would make sense. I am under lockdown yeah, and before that I was in college and I was a loner who sat alone at lunch and didn’t go out much. I’ve been watching shows and gaming and drawing to pass the time, but yeah.
I’m not on medication, but I definitely wanna try. I just gotta speak up… Lol, last time I went to the doctor I just forgot to ask. I guess since I’m anxious nearly every minute of the day I just got so used to it and forgot to ask. Next time, though.
I didn’t really make it clear, but I don’t have a therapist at the moment. I did, but he was far away and it would be hard to go nowadays. Yeah, I’m pretty shy and introverted. I know I need to speak up, but some things are just hard to talk about. Like I don’t like talking about certain things cause it makes me think about them even more. I didn’t even mention what my phobia was because it worries me so much. But I know I got to talk, that’s the point of therapy. Yeah, therapy was hard because the last one we did talk about some stuff and he was nice but it was like he was all what do you wanna talk about and it’s like you ask me. Also, I’ve noticed meditation been making me even more anxious cause of all the thoughts flowing.
But yeah, thanks! I’m gonna try to be more busy at home, I just gotta dig myself out of the hole(it can be hard to concentrate on stuff with all the thoughts) , I am getting a new job it looks like so that might help.
The reason we talk about things is to get them off our chest and to get a fresh perspective on those problems. Holding them in and being scared only makes our anxiety worse. Frankly, I think you are bored and need more stimulus for your brain. Stay away from the news on TV, and movie or show is fine, but for the love of god stay away from the media, especially during this pandemic. So i would seriously consider getting another Therapist and you will need a good psychiatrist if you wish to try medication to control your anxiety. Once you have that under control, you may be more out going all on your own but who knows what lies ahead of us. When i am bored i play the Sims on my computer and it takes me to another place in my head. You should try it, its fun and relaxing and keeps your mind off your problems. I can only make suggestions, its up to you to make the necessary proactive steps to get the help you need. Lord knows if i could have fixed me by myself I would have, but i was humbled and realized i needed help and i am so glad i did. So please heed my advice, get a therapist, onload all that pent up anxiety and fear. You will feel so much better. And yes, it sucks having to relive bad things as you discuss them, but unfortunately its a necessary function of letting things go.