Hi everybody, I really need some advice about my boyfriend. He has been suffering from anxiety for the last 6 months. It typically takes the form of panic attacks associated with stress (uni, family, relationship problems). He has been to the doctor and is also receiving counselling. But he's finding it difficult in the counselling to be fully open about how bad things can be.
I am endlessly supportive and I am naturally calm and patient. But some of the symptoms do affect our relationship. One thing that I really could use help with is the anger. Sometimes in the midst of a panic, he becomes very outwardly aggressive. Fists, thumping things, punching himself, pulling his hair out, making noises. I alert him to the aggression and often try to run away because I am frightened but he can sometimes try to grab me, chase me or block my escape. When I tell him I am scared he denies the behaviour, or says it's not aimed at me. But I am the only one present and so it does get directed my way.
I try so hard to control my fear but that is something I am struggling with too. All I really want is for him to feel better. I think the key is getting him to recognise when he is panicking/being aggressive. But being vocal about it is not working. Any advice would be sooo appreciated!
have you tried couples counselling for anger management issues.
richard
Hello Sarah.
I have no doubt that your bf is hitting out in frustration and fear..however I still do not think it is acceptable. I have felt at times like I could literally tear through my whole house,smashing everything up...I don't because the rational part of me knows this is wrong and it won't solve anything. Your bf is hitting out because he is hitting out,the panic attacks are not making him do that. His own mind is making that choice.
He is lucky to have you in his corner,supporting him as we'll as you are but this is not something that you should have to be dealing with. It's not fair to you.
I think while in the extremes of panic/anxiety/depression we forget those around us, how all this effects them too,how scared and hopeless they feel also.
I can only offer you a (((HUG))) and tell you that you also need to consider yourself and your own feelings too xx
Your doing a great job Hun.
I read a book on metacognitive therapy i think this would be good to read for you and then him. Its focused on identifying and observing thoughts, behaviour ect.
In my first panic attack I jumped up and down because I had so much adrenaline and then did pull my hair out at one point because I was so mad this was happening to me. I do get really angry when I think someone can't 'help' me but I have never frightened anyone else in the 3 years I have had it.
Are you sure this is part of his anxiety? X