I was diagnosed bipolar a few years back, for some reason, I don't believe I am, however, when I look at the symptoms I can see I am. (Sounds nuts I know). I also have PTSD.
My question is probably in light of the above, hoping that someone can identify with my current symptoms and maybe help?
Yesterday and today I have constant nausea, I get this often. My BF puts it down to 'anxiety'. I feel SO lethargic, I keep dosing off. (I am not sick per se as in an illness as I'vve had this before.). I feel tearful, so negative about everything, I hate myself, I want to go for a walk to feel better but I can't. I cry at the drop of a hat. The nausea is like a deep seated sickness or feeling of disgust. I can't explain it. I really hate where I live right now, but I can't change it and this is making me worse.My legs feels stretchy and sore. I look in the mirror and hate myself to such a degree I can't stand it. I look like a 'monster'. To me anyway. Please, any help or identification would be so appreciated.
Yesterday I was on top of the world. Not manic, but well. Today a completely different person.
Dear Callianne,
It is obvious to me you are severely depressed, and I don't know the nature of your PTSD, but it is also clearly exacerbatingyour depression. I would advise you to see your GP as soon as possible, and talk to him/herabout possible interventions, medication, counselling, etc. The frustrating thing about bi polar is it can be tricky to diagnose it properly. Mine went undiagnosed for 14 years. You can be depressed AND manic at the same time, believe it or not.
If you feel things spiralling out of control, PLEASE don't suffer alone, go to A&E and speak to the on call psychiatrist, or phone out of hours mental health services, or even the Samaritans, but do seek help. You are not alone in this.
All your symptoms are classic signs of depression. Ask for help from your friends, and rest as much as possible, and remember, none of this is your fault. Take care of yourself
Thank you so much for answering, it means so much.
Dear Callianne, You have my deepest sympathy as I have experienced such self-loathing in the past. First, have you considered asking your doctor for a course of anti-depressants? This might help alleviate some of the symptoms you describe. I was so depressed this time last year that I went to a councellor. Have just finished seeing her and have found having an outlet apart from family and friends has helped me put my negative thoughts in perspective. I have also learned to regard hostile thoughts as just that - thoughts - which I have learned to politely send on their way and stop persecuting me. It does'nt always work but i feel I have the tools now to combat unwanted feelings and intrusive, depressive thoughts. I also find writing down what is happening helps to dissipate the power of negativity. Try to set up little treats for yourself and your BF. Look up online various self-help publications. I found one on mood swings that had a lot of homework and it definitely helped. Try to be kind to yourself and your thoughts will probably follow suit
Thanks clare. I have applied to see a therapist/psychologist, just the waiting is so long here. I like the idea of self help books. Working with my thoughts I realize is key, sometimes its just not that easy but a start in the right direction.