Hi I have an anxiety disorder gad I have a husband and 3 grown up children my husband works full time finishes work around 4.30 he's in bed by 6.30 7.00 my children also work so im alone all day then alone all night weekend husband is out up local pub he comes home drunk then is in bed within half an hour I am agrophobic and don't go out have been for 7 months now my husband as just buried his head in the sand I'm so frustrated and alone I feel like I just want to run away from everything but am stuck in this house I am so annoyed with myself for letting this happen and take control of me
I feel for you, it sounds as though you're really suffering. It's a shame that your husband isn't being very supportive. Have you tried to talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he just doesn't know what he can do to help.
Have you considered having some therapy to help with your agoraphobia? I know this may be more difficult if you struggle getting out of the house. I don't have agoraphobia but I speak to a therapist over the phone. Maybe this is something that could work for you? There's also a lot of self help resources online which may be useful. If you could make progress with this condition it could really help with the loneliness.
Being online on support groups and forums like this may also be helpful. It's nice to know others understanding what you're going through isn't it?
Are you able to get out and about if you have somebody with you? If so, perhaps you could ask one of your children or a neighbour to spend a day with you once a week or something.
All the best x
Hi cara yes I have spoke to him but he doesnt seem to understand we have just been going a long day to day I have cpn and a support worker starting to work with me now there going to start exposure therapy with me in a couple of weeks waiting on a new medication I have tried 5 so far nothing working only lorazapam 0.5mg twice a day that's all I have had for 5 weeks now although I have been on it 2 years I will get better
I'm determined to even if I do it all on my own I can't let it beat me this site as really helped me the last few days feel a little more settled in communicating with other with same anxiety problems thanks for your reply cara I really appreciate it thanks tina ..
It sounds like you're doing everything you can to fight this so I'm sure you will beat it in time. I'm glad you do have people working with you and I'm sure the therapy will make a huge difference & much more so than medication. I know medication can be helpful but, personally, I have never seen it as a long term solution to these kinds of problems. You should be very proud of yourself for taking these steps to overcome this and all by yourself as well, without the support from the man who is supposed to support you. Sadly, I hear many stories of people feeling totally let down by their families when facing anxiety related conditions. I think it's one of those things that people just can't get their head around unless they have experienced it themselves. X
That is so true cara they never had it and don't understand well when I'm better there is going to be big changes in my life Im getting the strength by battling every day and when you have been rock bottom the only way is to get back up and build yourself up and get stronger so you can do it all for yourself and that's were im heading totaly self relient thanks cara x
Hopefully your new therapy and such will work. And you will get through this. You have to just focus in yourself now. Make this a selfish time so you can jump this hurdle. It is in you. You will learn you have more control of you then you believe and know, somewhere along the way you gave way too much belief and power to your emotions and thoughts. . The anxiety disorder is a mal function but many do manage it most of the time. Dont attatch outcomes to anything. No predictions or anticipations because it is type of brainwashing. Then the situation arises and all your mind and body know is whats familiar and it will go to your prediction as a guide. Unless you see, feel and believe a positive outcome dont go that route. We all have ine thing in common big time we not only dont we trust the process of life we want to control it. And it isnt possuble. I wish you a ton ton ton of stregnth and wisdom to get thru this. Sending a hug. When you walk out that door know we are all behind you and rooting for you.ok. You will do this.. you will. Its beautiful out there. It is. The worst scenario is what you are doing now so that removes any worst scenario. A self inflicted imprisoned life of misery is the worst scenario. And you will get this anxiety stuff managed to a functional level. Have your own back now. You need you. Give yourself the love and tenderness and compassion and cheerleading that you would another to give you. Thats the secret thru this mess..self love no matter what. Self hate was destructive and worrying was useless and fear sucks so move to self love now,Change is a good thing now. Welcome it. The last thing you want is for things to stay the same now. Good luck with your therapy.
Good for you! And remember, you're never alone because there are loads of understanding & supportive people on here :-) xx
Hi Tina,I am sorry to read your message. Firstly you need to gently remind your Husband that he's only got 1 liver. I had two parents with drink problems & I have suffered Anxiety since childhood. I am now 60 & Anxiety is horrid. I am a carer for my Husband, who's disabled with OA of hips,knees & neck.I too suffer with stress & OA of hips & knees.Have you tried Reflexology? It's wonderful for your needs.Or a massage.I would contact a girlfriend of yours,then pack a bag for a couple of days and inform your hubby that YOU need a break.Many men are so selfish.You need to start living.you only have 1 life.And. Regards Amanda h
Thanks cara for your support and kind words tina xx
Thanks so much Lisa what words of wisdom you speak forget the past can't change it live in the presant and what will be will be in the future and I need to be more selfish to fix the broken feeling inside so from now on that's what I am going to do Lisa I am a good listener and a good advice giver so my friends tell me but can't seem to take my own advice but I'm going to say to my self what would I say if this was a friend and how can I support and start asking for help thank you so more I can't belive that there are people out there like urself that can make a differnce in how I feel for that I thank you tina xx
Hi amanda he as always been a drinker and he won't change he point blank doesn't won't 2 when there is 3 in a relationship 3 person being alchol I'm never going to win that's why I have to get stronger I'm sorry u have suffered with anxiety for such a long time you and your husband health condition I imagine have a hard impact on you I just think we'll why am I moaning thanks tina xx
Well guys just an update I had a rough few days and couldnt get out of bed then yesterday I got up packed my bags and was off I don't know we're I was going my friend turned up and then phoned my husband I had phoned the mental health team for surport they will get back to me Wednesday he rushed home crashed his car in a panic he was ok I told him I'm going to section my self I can't carry on like this an to my amazment he as been great I don't think we have talked this much In the whole two years iv been ill hopefully we will get sorted an the the future will be better I am now going to fight harder to get better now I have more surport around me my kids have been great so forward I go now no looking back on the bad times for me I'm going to kick this anxiety well and truely up the backside lol xx