About a month ago, I posted that I was struggling with extreme worry of my ex being pregnant. A little background..
Around 5-6 weeks ago, we had sex twice in the same week. Protection was used on my behalf both times, and I also pulled out as well. History with pregnancy scares with her has really done a number on my brain, yet, I keep sleeping with her. I worry constantly about it to a point where I can't focus and my mind is extremely foggy, and it's driving me crazy.
Also, in the picture, is someone new that I've began seeing. Things are going very well. However, whenever something goes well in my life, I expect something bad to mess it up, and my mind keeps going back to the pregnancy thing with my ex. I fear she is going to wind up pregnant and will ruin everything with this new person. I know, this is my own fault and I own up to it.
So, earlier this month, my ex said she had her period around the 2-3 July. Her period usually last 2-3 days. This time it was heavy for about a day and then stopped. She said this wasn't typical, but it has happened before. She was sick at the time and on the antibiotic Augmentin. Fast forward to now, I'm still worrying and stressing about her not having her period and being pregnant. She says she's due to have it this weekend, but said she's not really feeling it start to come on at this point, which isn't normal for her, but she blames it on a lot of stress at work. She keeps telling me she's not pregnant, she doesn't feel pregnant, and she doesn't think there's a chance she could be. Yet, I still worry like crazy. I know a simple solution would be to get a test, but that brings back too many bad memories.
In short, I really just need some reassurance that I'm overreacting. Common sense tells me I am, but I just can shake it. I would really appreciate some opinions on this.
I would be v surprised if she is pregnant. Women's periods can be heavy, light, arrive on time, arrive late etc. You know the answer to stopping all this worry is a test. Yes, it's scarcy , I've been there, it's awful but at least u will know. I knew straight I was pregnant, you feel it, particularly in your boobs. If she is saying she's not, she knows her own body. Good luck, update us. Either way you will be fine.
Ciara,
Thanks a bunch for the reply. I'm going to wait it out a few days and see what happens. If there's any concern, I'll get her to take a test. Like I said, logically I think there's no way she could be. My past experiences are just causing me to worry.
If you used protection, and on top of that you pulled out there is less than a 1% chance she will be pregnant.
Woman can only get pregnant 6 days out of a month.
So with all three factors in play (condom, pull out and ovulation) it’s highly unlikely she is pregnant.
I do suggest you stop messaging her though. If you know this is a trigger to your anxiety. Maybe stay clear of it. She may feed off of making you nervous and scaring you into thinking she’s pregnant.
And if it’s giving you brain fog and you’re focusing on it too much. Just eliminate the problem.
I believe the two times we had sex were in her ovulation window between June 12-18. At least that's what her tracker app says anyways.
She told me she got the IUD and was on it at the time as well, but I'm having trouble believing her. I have major trust issues, but that's a discussion for another day. I asked her to prove to me she has the IUD, and she kept saying she'd go get the receipt from the doctor, but she kept saying she never had the time to do it because of work. I've asked her to be 100% honest with me about that, and that I wouldn't be upset or mad if she lied, but she keeps saying she didn't lie about it, so I don't know.
My mind just feel so messed up right now...
Even if she doesn’t have it.
You still used a condom. And pulled out.
Seriously very very slim chances to get pregnant.
But. Like someone mentioned before. Just to be sure. And set you’re mind at ease. Just ask her to take a test with you there!
So, I asked her to take a test, she kind of balked at the idea and said the test wouldn't be accurate at this point. The last time we had sex was a month and a half ago.She also told me that she would take a test if she was late, and she would tell me if it was negative, but wouldn't tell me if it was positive?
She has a history of acting crazy if I start seeing someone.
I'm still freaking out, but I really just need to type out my feelings. I really don't have someone I can talk to.
So, we had sex on May 30. I used a condom, and pulled out that time as well. She then told me she started her period on June 2 and it was normal. We had sex twice in June, one on the 11th, but we didn't get to finish due to getting interrupted. Then again on the 17th. Both times I used a condom and pulled out. That's the last time we had sex. So, again, she said she bled on July 2nd for a day. She said it was lighter than normal, but it wasn't light. I think she said she went through 3 tampons. She sent me proof. I won't go into details, but it was definitely proof. She then said she spotted a little bit a couple of days later. Now it's close to time for her to have her period and she's not feeling it like it's coming. She keeps telling me she's 100% positive she's not pregnant and there's no way she could be.
However, she has told me her breasts have been hurting for a little over a month, but she credits that to losing weight and them getting smaller. She also said she's been getting up more at night to urinate for the past month or so. To me these sound like early pregnancy symptoms and I'm freaking out.
Can someone please talk some sanity into me? I'm worrying myself sick.
Jason,
Please don't worry! She is not pregnant.
It honestly sounds like she is toying with your anxiety by continuing to claim she's experiencing common pregnancy symptoms but yet, saying she's not pregnant. It sounds like attention-seeking behavior.
Typical periods usually can last longer. It sounds like her cycle may not be extremely typical. Therefore, small abnormalities like shorter or longer days, spotting, etc aren't anything to be surprised at.
I would put everything I own on her not being pregnant by now even if you didn't use a condom, which you did along with even pulling out. She is definitely not pregnant.
These are also not only early pregnancy symptoms. They're PMS symptoms as well. As a 23 year-old woman, I can tell you that my boobs ache during ovulation and then again right before my period. I also start peeing like a crazy lady right before my period. A woman's cycle can change every month, too.
If I were you, I would stop talking to her completley. She sounds like a person that fuels anxiety. You deserve to be happy with the new person. It sounds like she is just trying to manipulate you. Don't let her!
Honestly. She is just seeking attention.
Like I have said before, if you used a condom. And pulled out. There is less than a 1% chance of her being pregnant. And by now she would know.
She’s seeking attention and trying to make you nervous because you have moved on.
Spend time with your new lady and try to ignore her. She’s toxic.
Taylor, and joslynn - thank you both for your replies. I guess what I'm struggling with right now is letting go. Like, I would feel a lot better if I knew for sure she wasn't. However, she doesn't seem to want to go take a test and keeps making excuses. This morning she said she was having a migraine, nausea, and pain in her middle stomach and her lower back. She started saying she was starting to freak about about being pregnant. Said she called her doctor and she's going in next week if she's not better to get some blood work done, but her doctor said he didn't detect any pregnancy in her bloodwork the past couple times he saw her, which is twice in the past 2-3 months. As recent as late June (after we had sex).
Anyways, I really want to just block her all together right now from text, social media, etc. Part of me just is hanging on to make sure she's not pregnant first before I do it. I feel she's going to do something crazy and try to mess my life up. What do you all suggest?
I think you’re right and need to just move on. Block her, do whatever you have to.
I’ve had two babies. Never have I had pain in my stomach or back that early in pregnancy. Sounds more like menstration issues to me.
Also. As weird as this may sound. Woman just know when they are pregnant. You feel it. She would know by now. She wouldn’t be waiting to take a test.
Sounds like she like the attention if she’s done this before.
I think you’re good
She just sent me a message this morning telling me she passed a big clot the size of her hand and it hurts for her to sit. I swear, I'll be glad when this is over.
After this deal this morning with the clots and not being able to sit because it hurts. I told her to go to the doctor if she's having those issues. She then tells me that she's sorry for making me upset and that she was only telling me so she'd keep me in the loop, like I asked.
I didn't ask for her to do that.
Then she goes on this tangent and apologizes for making me upset and she has no idea what she did wrong. I just can't take this anymore...