This is the first time I have used a forum to go into any discussion about my anxiety and depression. Something I have had since I was 13-14 (I am now mid 30's).
I started a new job as a manager in a reasonably big corporate company back in September, up until this role I have been project based in a consultancy capacity, never really managed people before. By November I started to feel very anxious about the role which wasn't helped by losing my granddad. My workplace to their credit tried to confront my anxiety first hand and make my job easier for me.
Unfortunately beginning of February despite my general performance at work being to a decent standard I woke to have a panic attack, went to work, then ended up coming home in a complete mess. Working in London can be savage when these things happen! No place to hide!
That weekend I confided in my wife and family and opened up to my work place within days about my condition. I previously told them I had the flu but opened up to them about the full extent of having extreme anxiety and with it crippling depression which opens up the whole horrible past and fearful future sickness.
Since then I was off the first 2 weeks sick and have worked the following 2 weeks at home with next week being another week where I work from home before I really should think about my next step. I have been placed on sertraline (Now on 100mg) which goes into its 4th week next week and I'm not sure if its working yet. I am also having counselling.
I am responsible for 3 employees at this work place and they are a huge part of my anxiety. I decided after a week to open up to my staff via a text message to explain the full reason why I was off. I mostly got sympathetic responses but my anxiety only got worse last week when 1 member of staff decided to demand a date as to when to expect me back at 10:30pm on a Friday night, it was a really blunt horrible message. It shocked me to my core and had me lost in panic for a long time. My staff don't care.
I don't really know what I am asking for here but it certainly helps typing it all out. Has anyone had any similar experiences with work and anxiety? How did you cope? At this moment in time despite the great support of my work place I'm very close to handing in my notice and looking for a role that doesn't involve managing staff. I will first ask if my job role can be changed to be more project based and remove the management responsibility but I'm expecting that to fall on deaf ears.
I just don't look forward to the next day.