Back in January, I had a massive anxiety attack that sent me to the hospital (not for a real medical reason, but because it was that 'it feels like I'm dying' attack). Since then I only had an attack like that two other times, otherwise I had just been dealing with moderate anxiety, but constantly.
It was a struggle to find a medication that helped for me. I was on Zoloft for 2-3 months but it didn't do anything at all. So, I was then switched to Celexa a couple months ago and that has been absolutely amazing. My anxiety has calmed down a lot and is barely ever noticable anymore. My depression is still mild, but better than it had been on the Zoloft.
At the moment, I'm dealing with a lot of fatigue from the SSRI (wondering if that's because I take it before bed?) but that's pretty much it. I had really bad depersonalization/derealization on the Zoloft and the Celexa helped with that too. Like my depression, it's better but still mild.
The main issue is, it's been since January that I had that massive anxiety attack. The Zoloft definitely put a pause on my mental recovery but I still feel like I should feel...at least a little more normal now. It's not like I don't feel better, because I definitely do. I'm much better than I was a few months ago. But things don't feel quite...'normal' yet. Sort of just feels off or not quite right. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation like this, and if you have gone back to that sense of 'normalcy' or if you're still struggling even today.
Normalcy is possible but I hate to tell you, relying solely on meds won't take you there, that isn't what they are for. Generally the root cause of the anxiety needs to be addressed, otherwise not only will it not go away, it'll probably get worse
Anxiety/depression meds are not antibiotics. Not a cure.They can and do help half the people who use them for a set amount time but you need behavioral therapy and therapy as well. There is no set cure as yet science hasnt figured it out. Best to expect is this all being managed. This changes you. It just does. But again some respond real well and function very well on the medicines just dont be fooled to thinking that means you are cured you must still work on you and your personality that got you to that point. By no means at all are they "happy" pills even if they worked perfectly. They would just get you to a typical baseline you were at before this
I feel pretty much the same as you described. I was recently put on a new medication and it has helped me tremendously. I feel like it has given me my life back, but there is still just a little bit of something different about me. I have been on the new med for five weeks now. I feel so much better, but there is still a little anxiety and depression there. I want to feel like my old self again. I miss my old self. Maybe she is gone??
I totally understand all of that. I do feel like I have been given my life back. I'm sick at the moment so I haven't been as active as usual but on the first SSRI, I wasn't able to get up at all, I just didn't have the energy. But on the Celexa, I've been so much more active and...well, I've gotten back into my usual routine again. But just as you said, it just feels like there's something a little different. It's so hard to pinpoint exactly what it is, it just doesn't feel quite right. I actually had a few hours of heightened depression the other night because I was having the same thoughts you were. "Why can't I go back to how I was? I miss who I was before, I don't want to feel like this anymore." I have my next CBT session next week, so I may end up talking to my therapist about it and seeing what else I can do. It's just tough because I've been doing everything (or at least, I feel like I have) I can to try to feel normal again but I just haven't reached that yet.
i accept the root cause of anxiety needs to be addressed to "fully" recover but have to disagree that meds won't take you there and that it won't go away or get worse.. I believe meds can take you to a point that you have the "strength", "motivation", etc to take on the challenges and for you to take over and take responsibility for your full recovery, simply taking the meds will not make you worse, that's definitely not my experience and that's extensive experience!
Ive recently suffered a relapse in my anxiety and depression which is around the 6th/7th time since my mid 20,s (I'm now 51) and has been diagnosed as an hereditary condition so where is the root cause in that?
For me I've had lots of CBT and counselling ahd I've put it into practice but it hasn't stopped relapses, it's something I live with but enjoy the remission which the meds allow me to have.
One of my old councellors said that when you get better there will be a Jewell you can take from the experience, I suffered my first breakdown with anxiety and depression in my 20,s and I'm now 51 and have always felt I've never been "out of the woods" just always on the outskirts, I've relied on the meds ever since and am not ashamed to say so.
I've recently started an 8 week book course on mindfulness and hope it will help as an adjunct to the meds.