Every time i get anxious, i start grinding my teeth. I have had depression since long, that eventually upgraded to dark anxiety. For most of the day whether in office, or at home i am unconciously grinding my teeth. I am having memory loss. I am always lost in some random thoughts which are mostly negative . My husband and his family abused me a lot. That aggravated my mental condition. I lost a lot of weight, and lost my appetite. Waking up everyday and heading to work is a struggle now. I dream of happier days at times, other times i am looking for easier ways to kill myself. I am suffering from depression since last 5 years. I have realized that there is no cure for it. Some days, i hope to be happy. At the slightest incident, it all comes back. Its like sitting in dark room, with no ray of hope. If one could see my soul, it would be covered in wounds that are bleeding profusely. Everyday i wake up, force myself to think of one thing that makes me happy. It does not work every time, but sometimes it does. I walked out of my marriage because my mental peace is more important to me then anything now. I dont know if i will be happy now or not. But i will be at peace.
Rashmi go seek help. Suicidal thoughts are of concern here. Above all, remember that happiness isn’t without sadness and vica versa; can’t have one without the other. Assuming things won’t get better, as if you’re somehow clairvoyant and can see 20 yrs later in life, is obviously irrational. If you need to PM for discussion, please feel free to do so.