Posted on Friday how positive I was feeling and raring to go thought I had turned a corner and the med was working how wrong was I. Today had to drag myself out of bed been crying since I got up in a really bad place at the moment
jean
Hi Jean,
Thats Anxiety as we all know it.
One moment we can be feeling so good fianlly about things and in the next breath we find we feel like we are back where we started and in tears.
I am sending you Giant Hugs that bring you comfort and peace right now as you sit there crying and feeling unable to function.
Hugs that count and Hugs that have the potential for you to bring yourself back together in your breathing , in your thought pattern and in your heart .
To understand you are not alone in this and you are right now struggling with those overwhelming feelings of hoplessness .
I suggest you go to your bathroom and wask your face and then look deep into the mirror as I have often done and remind yourself that "hey Youyr gonna be ok " , tell yourself your amazing , as you really are in truth amazing and from this point when you walk out of the bathroom be rid of all those depressing thoughts that want to bring you so badly down .
I encourage you to so something even if small do something nice while the day is pleasant , even if it means just enjoying the colours of spring .
I send you love, peace and joy right now.
And I really hope you can find the strength to get up on your feet and spend the rest of this day with positive and power packed revelations of just how amazing you really are.
And that life is worht it all.
PJ
Isn't it a fickle illness Jean! I've always thought this is one of the reasons why non-sufferers can never quite grasp what's wrong with people like us.
It is such a pernicious cruel and unsympathetic illness, with no regard for race, background, gender, orientation or any profile you care to mention. From the brightest and most powerful, to the lowliest and underprivileged, anxiety and depression makes no distinctions.
My heart goes out to you literally because I know exactly how you feel. It is like someone has played a very cruel joke on you, to coin that old phrase, 'leading you up the garden path'.
Sometimes, the whims and vagaries of this illness make me think of it as a person. A person that doesn't like me, and spends their time scheming and plotting to trip me up. What has happened to you is a favourite trick, and that is where we can find a chink in the armour of our enemy.
The more we understand how it operates, the less unprepared we will be and less likely to be caught out. Jean, I know you are feeling horrible today, and it is only natural that you look back to Friday and feel despair. But don't lose heart. Tomorrow, you may feel absolutely fired up and ready to go again. If not, cling on to the knowledge that more days like Friday WILL come. Of that you can be certain.
I'm truly sorry you have been reduced to tears and I know that when you are in this state of mind, anything positive that is said to you can be robbed of its sincerity and sound like platitudes. I've cried Jean. Sometimes prostrate on the floor feeling utterly lost and abandoned with nowhere to turn. That has run its course and I've had better days, but I'm not complacent and realise that tomorrow, the same thing could happen to me.
By giving way to tears, you've allowed yourself an outlet for your pain, frustration and despair. It is not a weakness, it is a necessity to let your emotions be expressed rather than suffocated.
May I please send you a 'virtual' hug, and one extra shoulder to 'virtually' cry on. I wish I could say, 'Jean, everything is going to be alright' while giving you a hug, so I send you my love, best wishes and a promise.
The promise is, 'Jean, don't worry. Everything is going to be alright'. x
Hello rainboy
Thankyou so much for all your kinds words it's much appreciated I will take it all on board. I always thought I was a strong character even my family and friends have said the same it just shows this illness can get anybody at any time I AM DETERMINED TO GET THROUGH THIS however long it takes.
jean x
Hi jean,
Ive always been strong and happy,managed to always get through what life thrown at me (and its been quite alot) up until a few months ago i was fine and out of no where i get anxiety for no apparent reason...
Drs put me on meds and the 1st week i felt amazing! I thought that was it i was better.wow i was stupid! For some reason i get this fear/panic come over me like something really bad is going to happen, makes me feel sick,cant eat or drink and seem to get hot and cold sweats..
I understand how your feeling, when you get that "anxiety attack" it feels like nothings guna ever get better again.... but it will, you just got to keep thinking its going to pass i will be fine soon...is there anyone you can talk to when you feel like it? Someone you can be with? I find it easier not being on my own...
Stace x
You are not weak to be suffering from depression. In fact, you have to be of strong character to live with depression and anxiety and still get through each day. Google 'famous people who have committed suicide' and you will be floored by the people who have succumbed to this terrible illness, Robin Williams being the latest casualty. Rainboy articulated it perfectly above when he wrote that this illness has no regard for race, background, culture or social status.
Your so right Beth.
Rainboy is quite amazing really.
But so are we all one way or the other, some in many ways.
having this site is teaching me and many others just how to cope and get through each moment.
Hugs
PJ
Takes time for the medication to work and often you feel worse before you feel better. Also even when on anti depressants there are good and bad days I have found. I was always worse when I got up, asnd improved as the day wore on, and that was on anti depressants which I took for years.
Don't be disheartened. Take the downs with the ups.
Hello anne
Yes I agree with you I was on meltdown this morning when I got up,
was crying uncontrollably did'nt think I would get through today but now not feeling too bad strange what this medication does to you
jean x
Well I am now on day 20 of taking 10mg cit and I feel I am going backwards not sleeping still loss of appetite etc, can't understand because just over a week ago I posted that I had had a couple of good days and was feeling positive, but I feel the opposite this week. Got to see my GP Monday so I'm wondering if it would be beneficial to up the dosage. I just want to get the old jean back
jean x
Let us know what your GP says. I am so sorry you are still feeling rough. Of course you want the old Jean back. Hopefully she will be her usual happy self soon.
Take care
Will do anne
jeanx
I am struggling, not the first time in my life. It followed on after not recovering quickly, 4 months after a gallbladder removal I am now back on Trazadone. I have had it before but only for last 3 days up to 150mgms. At the best of times I struggle to get off to sleep, last night I hot about 3 hours. Can anyone remind me how long it takes to begin to feel better. I seem to remember 7 years ago it took about 2 weeks.
Hello anne
just got back from the doctors, she is keeping me on 10mg cit for another month which I'm happy about, then if not any improvement she will put me on a higher doseage. I'm into my 4th week of taking cit so think they still need to get into my system. Also I have arrange to get some counselling which I hope will help
jean x
Hello Jean. Thank you for replying as I do worry about other people here.
Hopefully the higher dose will soon make a big improvement in how you feel. Counselling will also hopefully help you too. Let us know how that goes. Make sure the counsellor is fully qualified as anyone can set up as a counsellor.
Take care,
Love Anne x
Hello anne
Think I will be ok with the counselling Anne it's run through the GP who I am seeing. It's group therapy andit runs for 6 weeks, think it will help. Will keep you posted.
jean x
Dear Jean
I just simply wanted you to know I have not forgotten about you and I am hoping that the past few days have seen an improvement in your mood and wellbeing. Ironically, today I had a blip like you and was unable to face work, so you see, it can happen to any of us at anytime for no apparent reason.
Anyways, I am sending you love and positive thoughts. x
Hello Jean. You have had some nice supportive replies here, and we are all rooting for you. Yes please keep writing here so we know how you are getting on. We all worry about each other so much.
I just wanted to say that you sound a very caring, supportive person. It helps so much when people get nice messages from people like you.
Hello anne
yes I agree there is a lot of caring people out there, I am so glad I found this forum it helps. Afraid I have been struggling badly the last few days but with support from family & friends and people like you Anne I WONT LET THIS ILLNESS BEAT ME
Jeanxx