My name is Coen and i’m 19 years old. I’m from the Netherlands, so excuse me if i’ll make language errors.
I suffer for almost 2 years from an anxiety disorder. I have help from a psychologist and i take everyday fluoxetine 20mg to help balance my emotions.
In had a very difficult youth behind me. I sufferd from mental and psychical abuse from my stepdad for almost 7 years. When my mom diforced I walked around with seferal issues. My thoughts where (and are still) very negative and I was (still but its getting better) a very closed person. I smoked alot of weed in that period to be somewhere else with my thoughts. I was/am super insecure about my self. One day i fanted down from in my class from kidney stones?, and after that moment i created a anxiety disorder by myself where i fight against everyday. The complaints where I suffer from are; Dizzynes in my head, fear of losing control of my mind(!) and body(biggest problem), busy places where i cant get out, insecurity about myself now and in the future and more. Before my anxiety disorder started i loved to drink a beer but now after one drop of alcohol im a afraid to lose my mind.. I’m on vacation in spain atm and i felt the first week better then ever but the last week i had a downfall to the way i felt before. I dont have any work atm, dont go to school en dont do any sport. I am planning to go sport 2x a week after im back in holland. Im also very insecure and anxious about contact with new people. I’m also very afraid that i never get a relationship with a girl, for that matter, im am not insecure about my appearance but only about my inwardly.
If something is not clear because of a language error let me now. I hope someone can give me tips and to finally get more confidence in myself and to get rid of my complaints.
I think you are going through typical growing up feelings - don't think you are alone. My dad was an alcoholic although I don't blame him as he had a very hard life in two countries and alcohol was the only thing that helped alleviate his suffering.
Sadly, his problem became our family problem so our home life was pretty much hell. Lots of mental cruelty and anxiety.
The ones that stuck around the longest (me and my brother and mom) suffered the most.
Anyway - we all have to put all that behind us and look at out life and our future - try not to look back.
Do you have an religious inclinations be they Christian or Buddhist or ?
If you can find something to occupy your thoughts such as prayer or meditation or saying a mantra over and over I find that it acts like a sponge soaking up the bad negative thoughts.
I'm a "so so" Catholic but when I become very anxious I say the name of "Jesus" over and over and over. It calms me down. That's just as example - I'm not trying to convert you - !!!!!!! Just saying that "other" thoughts for your brain to concentrate on can be a "mind saver."
How you breathe is very important, too.
Keep you mouth closed at all times and try to breathe lowly and slowly - watching your abdomen rising and falling. Look up Buteyko breathing - its 100 years old - lots of information on the internet.
I hope some of this information will be of some help to you. I wish you good luck and a long happy life.
Thank you for the reply. I have no relegion, and i’m not planning to get more into it, however i believe in some of the things buddha sayed. My mom is very into the mantra thing and she always said I should give it try. Now you said is too i’ll give it a try soon.
I’ll look up for the Buteyko breathing method. Thanks for the tip I try to breath as much as possible in and out of my nose, but i try to pay not to much attention to my breathing because I just recorved from many hyperventilation.
Sometimes i think i lack of some kind of vitamine because of my dizzyness, blurred vision and black vision. I think i need to test my blood to exclude some things and make sure everything I feel is because of my own mind.
Thanks again for your advise and I also wish you good luck and a happy life
I try to breath as much as possible in and out of my nose, but i try to pay not to much attention to my breathing because I just recorved from many hyperventilation. 