About two months ago, my boyfriend and i got in a fight that triggered depression and anxiety for me because of rumination and stress. Since then, Ive gotten several panic attacks, have been looking up almost every question that crosses my mind on the internet and have been having crazy thoughts. I’ve also been experiencing feelings that everything around me is fake and in the morning i wake up and feel anxious. I have to convince myself every single day that im okay and my relationship will be okay ( because i’ve had millions of feelings and thoughts that i dont love my boyfriend anymore), and that i will not have to deal with this for my entire life. The main way i do this is by telling myself that everything started going wrong after this fight, so that was a trigger. I’ve gone to a therapist (super sweet btw) and i will be meeting with her once a week. She has diagnosed me with acute symptoms of anxiety and depression . I think maybe this triggered these feelings because i was scared of being left by my boyfriend or something related to my parents divorce which was abrupt, and i never really dealt with. Im scared that ill never be worry free because i cant even force myself to even look back and feel what it felt like to not have this. Sometimes im super optimistic and know im going to get better but some days i feel horrible and stuck. Ive been feeling so weird with my boyfriend and sometimes even tired and annoyed with him (but i think its because of the anxiety and because im tired of feeling anxious over him and our relationship) and am so scared that even if i get better the relationship wont because ill be tired of him. I would love to be with him and not think about the past or the future but it seems impossible and it makes me feel horrible. Up to the day before we fought, I was so in love and even the things that weren’t perfect about him were perfect. Now im doubting if i ever even had these feelings. But something tells me to keep on going but i’ve also convinced myself that its just me because i want things to work out when in reality they wont. I feel extremely crazy and am also convinced that im not depressed or anxious, but am falling out of love and making myself think i am depressed and anxious… help…