During University I was in an abusive relationship, I went to court against him in 2011. We attended the same uni. In my second year I moved into a student house with people I didn't know, one of them sexually assaulted me one night when I was drunk after a night out. I became incredibly anxious, drinking excessively, avoiding everyone. I became worse when I left uni to live with my dad, but he was also drinking heavily and was abusive verbally to me. I had a breakdown in 2015 when I moved into my first flat, I'd gone through months of depression and extreme anxiety along with ocd. I still have anxiety and ocd, thanks to my medication and self esteem doing my volunteering at my mums workplace. But there's still something else I want to persue, I went to uni with the intention of being a teacher, or a councillor. And I'm finding it difficult to branch out and become who I want to be, comfortable is nice, but dosnt always mean happiness. I'm scared of the unknown.
Volunteering at my mums work which is to do with proving day centre activities for the elderly (Age UK), it's helped me so much. I just still struggle with change.
Sorry what happend to you but it seems you eventually worked on making the best out of the situation & moved on from unhealthy people in your life - it is great you had that strength. It seems like you are able to control your anxiety, depression etc relatively well - that is very good as well & it is great you do some voluntering & being out there helping people instead of letting your anxiety control your life...you seem to get a lot out of helping, so I can see your wish of being a teacher or something to be fitting as well. You shouldn't be afraid to be who you want to be - maybe look for small steps to get closer to your goal to improve your confidence in yourself & the change? You are right, comfortable is nice but doesn't always mean happiness - but there you know what you have & how to cope with things. Change is always scary & I guess with anxiety one tends to over-think what could be instead of just taking chances & go along with it. Don't stand in your own way to be happy - you made the best of some s****y situations in the past after all. Look into the possibilities you have & talk them through with someone (your mother or friends) - I am sure they will encourage you & help you adjust if you need help. Maybe knowing what you could do to live your dreams & what that could mean (changes that come along with it you can forsee etc) - seeing how you feel about it, could give you some idea. The unknown is always scary but unless you take your first steps you will stay in your comfort zone & always wonder "what if".
You are exactly right, ive been able to leave the past experiences behind me, it's just the anxiety and ocd that are taking over a bit. I appreciate your advise 😊, and will take small steps, maybe going into a school and just asking if they are wanting volunteers. I've come a long way since my breakdown and really want to get better. Thank you again for the great advice 😊👍.
You can over come your anxiety and go after your dreams. There is a way out.
I'm sorry all those terrible things happened to you, but I'm glad you were able to leave those people behind.
I have always struggled with low self-esteem for what seems like no real reason. Lately I've also been dealing with anxiety attacks, and I know these things are holding me back. I do have a degree and teach Preschool, but my pay is garbage and I want to find a better school. Starting over is just scary, and I had some very unpleasant student teaching and past work experiences that still haunt me. But, if we never start taking a step forward, we will never truly be happy. I personally hope to find a therapist soon to help me.
But I think we are our own worst enemies, and a lot of the things we worry about are never as bad as we think they will be! I had lots of breakdowns thinking I'd fail college, but now I'm the head Preschool teacher and I've been told by several coworkers and my director that I'm a great teacher. Try to remind yourself that even though it's scary, it will be worth it in the end! Even if it's a little step at a time, those little steps will gradually build confidence until you are able to take that big step into the unknown. I know I've come a long way, and am gradually becoming who I want to be.
I hope that all makes sense and helps, even if just a little. You can do it! I wish you the best of luck!
I am happy if I could help a bit. Yes, that sounds like a good idea - I hope you can find a place where they are looking for volunteers & there you can talk to teachers etc then, I am sure they can give you ideas where to go & what you can do as well in that respective field. I wish you good luck & don't get discouraged if it takes a bit, that is perfectly normal - just keep looking & exploring your options & I am sure then you will get where you want to get. You are the one who controls you anxiety, it does not control you or define who you are - I guess at times that is easy to forget because anxiety can be so tricky. You seem like a smart, strong person though - there is nothing stopping you. And I am sure you can find people (friends, family or even on here) that will encourage you when you doubt yourself & help you where they can, so you will get closer to your goal & eventually reach it. I wish you all the best.