Hi everyone.
I am writing this post after over 20 years of being worried about getting MS having been around my beloved Mum who has had it since I was 5 (I am now 33).
The reason I am writing is I just need some advice please. As a child I really suffered from bad anxiety, clearly related to my Mum being ill and in pain around me and my parent's relationship very slowly breaking down. This would come and go, but included a lot of missing school, night terrors, panic attacks, feeling ill when nothing really wrong etc. When I was 22-25 it really came to a head and I suffered terrible panic disorder. After months of therapy (talking it out and CBT), it went away and I was able to live my life again. I felt like a new person.
BUT, last year my father left my Mum which was a huge strain on me and more recently my mother has been very ill and in hospital for weeks after a bad relapse. I got extremely stressed travelling to and from the hospital every day and also trying to sort funding, hurry up the social services and hospital nurses that were so overstretched Mum's care was appalling (not their fault, but the NHS cuts) and then I had to sort a new care home for her that would look after her properly with proper nursing.
Anyway, for the past few months I have been having some very scary symptoms and I really want to believe that they are anxiety related and that my nervous system has been under so much stress that it isn't computing properly and me telling myself my worst fear, but I also need to be sensible and realise that my chances of getting MS are higher than the norm having an immediate relative with it. And I suppose I have been thinking about it all my life and I am sure that must have a long lasting effect on people.
I would say that I am experiencing a lot of symptoms all at once, I am not sure if these can occur through pure stress and anxiety as they are so phsycial! I have spent my whole life not reading about the disease or symptoms, only being around my Mum (lifting her, putting her to bed, sorting district nurse appointments constantly, caring for her during two MS trials she did years ago (which didn't work. Again hugely stressful etc etc) - and I think that reading about it all now would send me off the rails!
My symptoms include tingling in left hand and right leg, headaches, heavy feeling leg that is stiff when I sit down for long periods of time, strained feeling in eyes (recent eye test ok though) constant painful neck (helped by Osteo), light feeling in arm, chest pains, itchy feeling as if bugs crawling on my legs when I lie in bed...
The doctor has checked my blood and all was fine, checked my reflexes and everything seemed OK. I do think I should be referred to a Neuro but I am TERRIFIED.
I have had too much stress and worry and all my friends say I cope so well, but it is just a front, I don't think I can go through with an MRI and the worry of waiting to hear what I think I have expected all my life...to get MS like my Mum.
So if any of you had similar experience, or have any advice, or indeed know anyone that suffered horrible anxiety and relatives with dieseases that led them to believe in the worst, then I would like to hear from you.
Thanks for reading,
Alice (33)