anxiety or something else?

Mental health
1

Please read all.

Feel 100% trapped in my own mind and cannot get my mind on anything else. I feel extremely distant from everything in life and it’s scary. It’s like my mind is telling me how I’m feeling every second and it I feel so bad it’s like I’m sick. I have no want to do anything and my brain feels dead from being in this state for so long. It doesn’t even feel like anxiety most of the time, it’s like this feeling of doom and constant thoughts telling me what’s wrong and how I feel.

I keep having thoughts that “ I have no want to do things bc of the anxiety” and “ I don’t know what to do because of the anxiety” and “it makes me not know when to things ” and all these “what ifs” and “buts” just all these constant negative, obsessive thoughts, and when I try to dismiss them and put my mind on something else, it makes me anxious because I am recognizing the anxiety. 

I have felt this  pressure in between my eyes and nose for some time and I’m just kinda p****d off and tired of feeling like this. I wanna be able to relax without my mind going turbo into anxiety and obsessive thought mode. 

I feel the anxiety makes me not want to do things or think the right way which causes more anxiety. I’m anxious of the thoughts it gives me, which is hard to dismiss. Especially when I can’t go do something physically demanding like working out or running. 

It’s like It makes me feel like something has to be done immediately and my subconscious wants me to figure out what is wrong. It makes me constantly check my thoughts and feelings and how they are 24/7. Even when I’m sleeping. I fear the way anxiety makes me think and feel. 

I’m scared of when I get off the medicine, it will all come back as bad as it was at first. But that’s probably just an irrational thought. Find myself constantly thinking about how the anxiety affects me negatively. I want to learn how to turn this negative nagging thoughts into more positive ones. 

Have learned that all the inwards thinking about how I feel leads to the brain fog, forgetfulness, and derealization which makes schoolwork harder. Which causes more anxiety. And so on. Feel like I have a much better understanding on what’s going on. But I still have these moments sometimes of panic for no reason whatsoever like something is wrong. And they scare me. But they have gotten a lot less overtime. 

I overthink everything I do because I feel like every decision and thought is from the anxiety, and that I’m not thinking like myself. I wish it was as easy as it sounds to not have all these negative and obsessive thoughts. That’s why it’s getting really annoying. I’m scared I have like generalized anxiety disorder or something that I can’t get over without medicine.  

I’m just so Tired of having to get rely on my parents for every little decision because I have this problem and want to feel like life isn’t distant anymore and want to have my normal thoughts and feel back you know?

I know I must get into my daily activities and engage in things around me to get out of this, but it’s very hard when I have the derealization and brain fog and my anxiety is increased when I have those because I’m hypersensitive to them.

Feel like I must confess things to my mom regarding how I feel and things in the past that could relate to all this and if I don’t do it immediately I feel like I’m gonna go crazy. I vividly remember having this as a kid.

Also feel like I have to constantly talk about how I’m feeling to my parents. Scared I have OCD.

Feel completely brain dead and have bad derealization.

Things seem so “off” and weird and school work is soooo hard because my mind feels so blank. These anxiety symptoms are bad enough as they are, but they also cause my anxiety more because I’m so focused on how I feel.

I’m so tired of not being able to remember things and feeling brain dead from anxiety. 

I had two days of feeling normal. It was the greatest experience ever. But then I smelt the whiskey in my house just thinking about last summer and living without all this, and I had an instant panic attack thinking going crazy thinking that I had to give everything I have and to God and give up drinking and all these obsessive thoughts. It was horrible. 

Feel like if I don’t write down how I feel, my anxiety gets worse. 

Have this feelings where I feel like I cannot do anything, do not want to eat, talk, go anywhere, I just have to feel better. I do these things, but It’s like something has to be done IMMEDIATELY and it makes me feel like my mind is literally ill. 

It’s like I cannot do anything and I feel trapped in my own mind.

I keep having so many negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and i don’t know why but I cry so much.

My parents will guide me through how to cope with it and how I’m feeling and i will go back in my room for not even 5 minutes and then I’m back to being a basket case because I don’t feel right and my mind feels sick and something has to be done immediately to stop making me feel this way.

Every second of the day it’s like something is wrong and I cannot enjoy what is going on around me.

I have tried everything. Whenever I say “8 dont care about this I’m going to live my life” it seems like it makes it worse.

My mind is constantly telling me how I feel and what is going on.

I am beyond sick of this.  I want my life back.

2

Hi,

​I know it's hard and seems impossible but it can be done. Here's what I have been taught and put into practice. You say, as I did, I want my life back, Ok, then get it back, it's your thoughts not anyone else's, you control them even though it doesn't seem so. You are refuelling your fears with fear itself, the "what if's , the "what about this and that". If you feel like passing out , pass out, I bet you don't, even if you do, the worst it's going to do is dent your pride if there's an audience and a few scrapes here and there on your face . If you feel a panic attack coming on while you are doing something, let it come, let it do it's worst, it won't kill you.

​Now reading your description, have you been diagnosed with depression ? the reason I ask is and not everyone agrees but panic/anxiety is a different issue to depression, Yes they can run in together but you don't have to have depression to suffer panic/anxiety attacks and vice versa.

​Have you been given the all clear in your over all health ? If you have been given the all clear from the thoughts that we endure, like cancer, heart attacks, brain tumours etc etc  then you can rest assured it's you parasympathetic and sympathetic nerves acting up, you're in a deep sensitised state and you need to be desensitised and that's where therapy can come into play.

​I'm sorry if I sounded harsh but it's the reality of things and does work, it's hard to start with but persistence and lots of hard work and some understanding people you will come out a winner and have the world back.

3

I understand where you are Coming from. Firstly it's great you have supportive family around you. Secondly. What meds are you on?? I was desperate to get my life back when my anxiety was at its worst. You are young and have time to learn to cope with it. It will.never be "cured" so to speak. The meds help but we have to gain control of our own minds. A lot of people that suffer with panic and Anxiety are overthinkers. Flip that around. You may over think the silliest or smallest of things but I bet that makes you a kind thoughtful person as you are aware of how others may feel or be effected by something. I'm on meds and it's helping but I've come to the realisation that this will be a lifelong battle and I have to learn to control it. Have you had any therapy at all??? Stay in touch with us on here. We all.understand how you feel and what you are going through. Take care

4

hi thanks for the response. I know for a fact I am not depressed. I have anxiety about having anxiety... if that makes sense. I had a horrible case of mono that triggered it and I had severe anxiety for like a week could barely sleep. I had a massive brain fog from the mono and its still here because of the anxiety. I haven't felt myself in 6 months. it has now been over two months and I have learned to cope with it better. its just I have anxiety about not feeling myself, and anxiety alone makes me not feel myself. its like a vicious cycle ya know. It makes me feel like I cannot do anything and can't go anywhere because things feel so distant and confusing from this. so I'm fearing fear itself. I have a much better understanding on what is going on, but its still a struggle. I have been going to therapy and am on lexapro 20mg. my goal is to get off this medicine and I do believe I can recover from this. I wont rest till I dont. I have found more inner strength going through this than I thought. luckily, I have my senior retreat tomorrow, and I do not want to go at all because I feel so out of it and distant and confused, but I know it will be good for me. I also am trying to play college baseball so pitching this year for my senior year of high school will deff help get my mind in better order. but like I said, its the feeling of not feeling "right" and unaware of what is going on that causes anxiety. it makes me think I am way more confused than I really am. this anxiety is an evil little son of a b***h, but I WILL beat it. even at times when I dont see any light and it feels impossible.

5

hi thanks for the response. I am on 20mg lexapro. but my main goal is to get off the medicine. its my life and I will get it back no matter what. I value the feeling of life too much to not fight for it. I feel like everything is do and every decision is make is not what I would usually do because of the anxiety. just feel trapped in my own head instead of being able to enjoy the world around me. also mostly have anxiety about not feeling "right" and confused and having derealization and time feeling weird and that just feeds it even more. its a vicious cycle I must break. and I will break. we can re wire and train our brain with our actions and thoughts and how we perceive things, its a grind, but it is totally possible with a determined mindset

6

Hi,

Yes fully understand, I like your attitude towards this little demon, keep that going and you will beat it, guaranteed

7

thank you, that attitude isn't there 24/7, not even close, but Im trying to keep it there.

8

I like your attitude. I Get the feeling if being trapped in our heads. I think of my anxiety a bit like having the devil.on your shoulder convincing you that you are feeling anxious...egging on those feelings trying to make you break and succumb to the anxiety. We have to learn how to make that evil disappear and not listen to it. I sometimes get anxious as I haven't felt anxious its very frustrating