I have GAD and OCD I guess. OCD isn't too bad most of the time. GAD is usually well managed with benzos even though I've taken them for too many years. But my phobia of spiders is ridiculous. I know it's "irrational" but if I see one (especially in house), it can make me so anxious and/or depressed(not sure?) to the point of suicidality (or close to). I know in my head that I see these spiders as more than just a bug. I see them as some kind of bad omen. I think that's what drives me insane. People will just say "It's just a bug" blah blah blah but that doesn't f--king help me. I am into things like "manifesting your own reality" and things like "law of attraction", etc. I see angel numbers a lot (many people will just think I'm crazy for believing it but whatever. When you see them 10~20 times a day every day for 5 years and learn about them, you start to wonder). Anyway, because I believe in things like that and "everything happens for a reason", etc., I guess I see these things as bad omens. But the anxiety to the point of near-suicidality is ridiculous. Please. Help. Me. -Shane
Shane i’m sorry you are going through this. It must be miserable for you.
the best thing you could do would be to get some support for this fear of spiders. It’s difficult to do on your own and people on this site can’t do a lot to help you. Speak with a counselor who specializes in gad and OCD. i’m sure it’s something they have helped people with before. A lot of counselors have virtual appointments if that something you’d be interested in. You don’t need to feel miserable all the time. Hope you feel better soon.