Hi everyone. I hope youre all well. I havnt posted so im fairly new to this...So please bare with me.
I had my daughter 20 months ago and ever since then really ive been a wreck....Ive had ups and downs as my relationship with her father is also not good.
But to cut a very long story short...I think ive developed health anxiety because of previous health issues. I went through a really stressful time when my partner left and i didnt eat or barely entertain my daughter i was in such a mess. But shortly after that i was having lady troubles and discharge etc (which can be stress i know) which made me paranoid about Ovarian cancer...I had some check ups and they said all fine but my mind wont believe them. (terrible i know).
Then i started to get heartburn all the time...they sent me for an endoscopy and i was told mild gastritis and reflux. So that wasnt in my head...But again i know can be caused by "stress"...But i always think its going to lead to cancer....that my fate is always cancer.... My daughter has developed a mole on her face...
Just a normal looking mole but it made me check and obsess over mine....now im worried i have skin cancer and they do look jaggered edged and dark and blood vessely..And i do sit out hours in the sun with no protection....
Also of late when my daughter hugs me my right breast gets a stabbing pain behind my nipple....And what sends me in a sweat and want to cry...You guessed it.
Breast cancer! Im honestly turning obsessive about my health and its actually subsequently ruining my life...And my time with my daughter...Im googling mad about symptoms...what the pain could be...etc...
I guess my concern is that how far can this go? Or could these be real symptoms? Ive been down the doctors so much im do scared they wont believe and something will get missed and ill get cancer and die....My fear of it is getting stupid...I have no rational thinking left anymore and im worried about my daughters future with a mum always in this state..Please can anyone help me. xxx
Hi I'm sorry your having such a hard time I am a nurse and I wanted to let you know that if you are really that worried about cancer to ease your mind there is a test called CA129 blood test they can do to detect cancer on the body it won't tell where but if the level is elevated they will check it out. Also I've come to the conclusion that the more you think about things the worse they get I hope this helps you.
I suffer from health anxiety to. It started after many life changes (also a mom to a 4 year old.) at first my worries were always cancer. I googled everything and it was so scary. After a recent miscarriage my anxiety took over and I thought I was dying of a heart attack .. it's been a rollarcoster ever since .
I know first hand just how symptoms can manifest simply by reading about an illness online. I've had numbness, dizziness , hot cold feelings in my legs , stabbing pains in my chest , burning sensations , chest pain, heavy chest , heartburn , indigestion , lump in my throat , pins and needles ...and every test I've had has been normal .
I've finally taken the steps to recovery because living like this is hell. There's no joy in a life like this. Please look into therapy and make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your anxiety . If you've gotten tests and everything is coming back normal you must trust that you are ok and it's just anxiety makin you think it's something sinister.
I'm currently starting a med called lexapro and I hope so badly it works so I can get my life back . I'm also doing therapy and acupuncture to keep myself in a calm state . So far so good. Two months ago I was in a dark hole I never thought I'd come out of it and now I'm doing so much better so please seek help❤️
Also I know how issolating it can be living with anxiety especially with children so please feel free to reach out and send me a message if you ever need to chat .
Hi Kay, I am in the same boat as you too. It sounds like you are suffering from post-partum depression on top of your anxiety. Or perhaps PLS brought on your health anxiety. I have suffered for years with my anxiety and it sucks. There is no better way to put it. I will convince myself I have cancer and get checked out and I am totally fine. It takes a few weeks to get stable again and then I find another thing that I think is wrong and is a different type of cancer. I spend so much time thinking about it and my anxiety doesn't help by giving me physical symptoms that stress me out even more. I have seen my doctor more times this year than the past 8-10 years total. I think you need to get some medication to help you stabilize and seek some therapy. As for your daughter, just be honest when you can and when she can understand. My daughter is almost 11 and she knows That sometimes I suffer. It helps Her be more empathetic and has helped her recognize symptoms in herself.
Hi Kay
I hope you get some comfort reading your replies to your post as you will see you aee not alone! I have suffered GAD, predominantly healthy anxiety and panic attacks since having my son 15 years ago and my fears are cancer or a heart condition that is going to make me suddenly die. I have taken medication (Citalopram) i the past and it was fantastic. I felt my normal self and could function like a normal person. I now have 3 children, a 15 year old, a 5 year old and a 7 month old. My anxiety has completely spiralled out of control since the birth of my youngest. I was convinced I would die during childbirth and my anxiety is still with me now 7 months on. I know I need to go back on medication but for some reason, I am scared. Even though I have taken it many times before. I look for changes in moles, changes in breasts, have aches and pains everywhere, palpitations, dizzyness, dry mouth, hot flushes and just a general sense of panic or thoughts that something will leave my children without their mum.
I woukd suggest you seek help for your anxiety with meds and/or counselling. Its not pleasant living your life feeling like this as you know but rest assured that you are not on your own. This forum is great to chat to others who are experiencing the same as you are. Take care x
Hi Kaila,
Reading your post makes me think I may have wrote it :-) . I have always been a worrier and has started to get worse in the last week. I started a new relationship recently and a bit ironic as its makes me happy but worried about everything going wrong. Recently I got diagnosed with Herpes type 1 which was hard to take but after a few weeks I starting to feel myself again. Then out of no where I have myself convinced I have Hiv. I know it sounds mad but I think the Anxiety is really taking over my thought system. Im being tested tomorrow with the doctor. Im starting to feel there is hope for this to pass for me from your story but as of now I cant see the end to this.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Hello Kay Sorry to hear about your symptoms its health anxiety but for making it more sure its good to do a tests and that will make it clear that you don,t have any cancer if you didnot go for test your life will be a hell------i am 31 and facing it from last 5 years-----when i was 26--------i think my heart will stop beating till now 5 years i am still alive-----i have heaviness in left chest most of the time done plenty of tests of heart ecgs echo 24 hour ecg and then i have ibs and also burping problem i think i have stomach cancer i do endoscopy that was clear then i think may be i have colon cancer i go for colonscopy result was clear now i think i have heart problem and i will die of it i have acid reflux and ibs together but my mind will not accept it that its because of that i am sure that i have heart disease today i go to cardiologist he see my tests of before he say i am fine but request for heart Ct angiography---next week i have so better to do test its good then the anxiety just decide what u wanna gor for all life live with fear or do a test
Dear the problem with everyone is just that we have attached ourselves so much with eveyone and this world that any seperation live us in a state of depression and anxiety. The problem with the society is not anxieth and depression but is that they cannot handle themselves properly. As we always expect the world to run the way we want it to be but how can you control everything and that too which doesnt belong to you. We can only change ourselves that is the option with us because the emotions are felt within us and not in the world so change your self go and do mindfullness try to live with your own presence and if required any further help let me know.
Hi Sammie!
I have also always been more of a worrier/negative thinker as well. My anxiety used to come and go but lately it's been on "ON" all day almost everyday . Sometimes I get a slight break from it but I'm doing way better then where I was a while ago. Is herpes type 1 the coldsore virus ? If so I also have it & ive had it for years . I've been tested multiple times for hiv and other sexually transmitted disease (standard tests when pregnant ) and they were always negative . It doesn't hurt to get tested since your starting a new relationship but I'm sure you are just fine . You'll get better , it just takes time and work on your end .
Good luck ❤️
HI Kaila,
Unfortunately it was Genital Herpes type 1 which was harder to take. Im feel like im in between a rock and a hard place. I have huge Anxiety about gettin tested and the wait for the results I think will be hard. But I know if I dont get them done the Anxiety will always be there. Im going to ask the doctor to give me something to just take away the edge when im feeing like this as I feel it takes over me. Im like a shell of the person I know I am. Im glad things are going well for u and hope that everyday u get that bit stronger.
xxx
I have been suffering from crippling anxiety/panic attacks for over 20 years now. I have been exactly where you are many times over. I have visited doctors, emergency rooms, and had every test you can imagine. I am still here, I haven't died yet! I know that might not sound exactly how I meant it to, what I mean is that no matter where your mind takes you it usually ends up to be nothing. I have had chest pain, tightness, palpitations, etc. to the point that I have sworn I was having a heart attack to the doctor and the machines must just be missing it. After hundreds of tests, some repeated multiple times, I even had a doctor decide to do a heart cath on me. He was a bit of a dick about it but he said everything else had already been done, it was the only test left and it would let me know definitively if there was a blockage in my heart that hadn't shown up in any other test. There wasn't, my heart cath came back perfect. I still struggle with the pains and weird symptoms that anxiety manifests in me, but I'm not dead yet. I still run to the emergency room from time to time just to make sure I'm not dying this time. It is something I have been in therapy for and used many different meds to try and combat. I have good days and bad, some really bad. I just want you to know there is someone out there that understands, you aren't "crazy", and it isn't all in your head. I am not saying in anyway not to seek medical help if you think something maybe wrong but please try to accept the results when the doctors give them to you. If you have the testing for breast cancer and it comes back normal time after time, obviously it isn't cancer. Anxiety disorders are tricky little b******s, they will make you question everything, even when presented with rational explanations for things. I will tell you to seek help, mental health help, whether for you that means therapy, medication, or a combination of things is up to you and your doctors but sometimes just talking to someone about it and having them listen is helpful in itself. I have found that writing in a journal helps me when I am in pain, having a panic attack, or some other weird symptom that makes my mind go to the worst places. If I write down how I feel, pain in left arm near elbow, tingling lips, lump in throat, whatever I am feeling at that moment, it helps me to go back and look at them and say oh yeah I feel _____ today and I think I'm dying but on such and such date last year I felt exactly the same things and I didn't die, the doctors said it was this, they ran tests, the tests were normal. It helps. I hope that you can get a little comfort out of hearing this, I pray that you find what works for you.