Anxiety Returned

Hi all,

I was diagnosed in 2015 with depreaaion/anxiety and stress. Had a few really bad months but found a way to cope eventually. I met someone else, who like me also suffered with this horrible illness and we got along great. The cracks on both our routines began to show and we have began pushing each other's buttons - i'll admit sometimes on purpose but my anxiety has escalated somewhat since March after a really bad argument, my partner emailed his ex girlfriend the same night and when we'd sorted it out (the next day) he never mentioned it. I received a message from one of his ex's friends giving me a lot of verbal abuse and she then told me about him emailing his ex. I didn't believe it but his ex sent me the emails and it was true and he admitted it, said he was going to tell me after the dust had settled. Since then so nearly 3 months, i can't sleep properly, i panic everytime his phone goes off. I count the minutes it takes him to get home, i cannot react rationally to a normal situation, my work is being affected by my mood swings, the palpitations have started again and i just cannot get them under control. I've read every single self help

page available on the internet about how to deal with them and i just can't. I love him dearly and his daughter but it's beginning to affect our relationship severely and i feel like it's all my fault because of this stupid condition. I came off Trazadone because i felt i could manage and really do not want to start taking them again. They help numb things but don't deal with the issue itself.

Can anyone help me ... my life is about one more bad mood or outbreak of tears from crashing and burning 😢

Hi. Been there too. I've had this all my life looking back. On a daily bases I dread people noticing I'm a mess. Generally I pull it off but I'm dying inside.years ago a boy really messed me up. I was a wreck trying to second guess what he was up to looking back things take there course we try our best to deal with them but all hiccups in life which are inevitable make our anxiety unbearable. Have you anybody you can really talk to? Don't go down the path of drink or medication to relax you it ended in near death for me. A good doc could perhaps help if you say it's becoming unbearable. Hope things get better your defo not alone. Everything you tell me I could tell you something equally as crap but it's not who's worse. We all feel hellish and desperate. If I can help just by talking❤️

You lost trust in him but his behavior caused it. He was attemping to run back to ex. Why else would they have spoken. This isnt all on you. Im not sure what will happen to the relationship. Things tend to go downhill when one can no longer trust the other person.  You do what is best for you. This is your life, your happiness and you need to be surrounded by sincere, honest, uplifting people.