Hi. So I’m a college student, and I almost got suspended last semester and it hurt. I do have a lot of focus problems and I think a lot of that is my anxiety. It’s like my mind is always racing, like I’m a fog and I can barely think.
What feels annoying is that I have trouble reading. I know how to read, but when I stare down at a book in class I can’t zoom in and focus. It’s just a blur. And when I can, what I just read goes out of my head. So when people are discussing a book, I’m just lost.
I am pretty daydreamy in class and I doodle on my papers. I’m thinking about all sorts of things. Random worries, planning the day, getting excited about something fun I just learned. It doesn’t matter whether the class is interesting or not. They say take notes and stuff, and I’ll try to do that but then I’ll drift away again. If the professor is lecturing then tells me to demonstrate what he just showed me, I’ll forget the first step.
Writing is rough for me. I feel so slow because it takes me a long time to come up with something, and then when I finally do I write slow because I’m so lost in thought. Being lost in thought ruins homework a lot for me, though writing is the worst.
What do I do? I am getting a therapist soon, but I’m worried about not getting help in time. I don’t feel like a good communicator either. As for school stuff I am getting tutoring. I think I’m fairly smart, I just feel like I’m zoned out constantly. I’m feeling dumb and self deprecating and depressed over the whole situation.