I have been struggling with anxiety for many years, starting when I was 13. My story has been placed here multiple times but I will give the jist of it here. I have been crippled by the physical sense of doom. It causes my stomach to rumble furiously and I have no appetite. I am always on the toilet though, and the urge to go to the toilet comes on instantly - I cannot go out for the anxiety of not being able to reach a toilet. I have severe brain fog and I find it really difficult to understand what people say to me. I also find it difficult to speak, as I have a stutter. When my anxiety goes, it is also very hard to describe it because I dont want to think of it. I have been on Propranolol once a morning, 40mg dose and for the first week and a half I felt a lot better. My physical anxiety was diminished and although I still had anxious thoughts, the fact I was not feeling physically sick and didn't have as many sensations of dread was really good. Recently, for the last 2 days my anxiety just has not lifted. I haven't done anything different and I have been continuing my methods to improve my lifestyle, such as healthier eating (I have slipped up and drank an energy drink, so maybe the caffeine is still in my system from 2 days ago?) and I am exercising regularly. I am also going out with my aunt to visit family and to see my friend, as I cannot walk places alone. I feel like I am losing my mind, my anxiety comes on in waves. In an hour my anxiety can come and go over 30 times. I usually have 5 minutes of intense panic where I want to cry and my stomach knots and my thoughts race - then it just dissapears and I feel so full of energy and motivation... until a random thought knocks me off that again. It leaves me so tired all day, my eyes have bags and those bags have bags. I just want it to end. I ignore it when it happens, but it always hits me the second I am left alone with my thoughts. How do I stop my mind from doing that? My anxiety is triggered by having nothing on my mind because I feel like I am always forgetting something important 😠then, I find myself overthinking something and when my mind is like mush, I lose my train of thought which is the worst, forgetting what I was saying or thinking is the absolute worst part. Writing it out makes me feel better, but for only the amount of time I remain writing. It is the same with all the talking therapy. I feel good until the moment it ends. I was fine for the first week of my medication, why has it just decided to stop now? Did I get a tolerance or was it just a placebo? I know asking these questions will make me doubt it even more, I just need some reassurance that I am not just going to end up jumping around medications... This is the 5th medication I have tried and I really just want it to be right for me, that and the Valium really helps, but my doctors are extremely tepid about prescribing it.. I only get 10 2mg tablets and they always express concern when I ask for another prescription even though I only asked for them twice in a year. Any advice would be appreciated. Is this a blip, and how do I control my anxiety from twisting my past experiences into anxious thoughts. Is there a way to stop the waves of anxiety? Sorry for the long post, I just have so much on my mind all the time