Hello
I am a 39 y.o female and have always been an anxious and worry person for as long as I remember. I have been a sufferer of GAD for 22 years. In the beginning no one really put a name to it as a disorder and I was given antidepressants which I stopped after a few years. I have lived a functioning life and done things, however the part which effects me the most is trying to break the habit of overanalysing and overthinking. I recently had cbt which was great and I have read the usual self help books, I do understand about letting thoughts be there and not interact with them. I recently started a new job which I enjoy but unfortunately I have started getting panic attacks the past few weeks out of the blue which are unsettling. The sensations are so severe that it feels like I’m back on square one again. I don’t run off like I used to and continue to do what I’m doing despite the horrid feelings. The point I guess I’m trying to get across is to just talk to like minded people who are recovered or recovering but may have set backs. I don’t want to discuss the symptoms as I know that they are the anxiety trick and I have been told by my dr I’m healthy. I do have low iron levels but am on supplements for it. It’s an isolating feeling to not be able to talk to anyone about it. The last layer to shift is the detached feeling, which makes me wonder if these feelings are just bursts of adrenaline because I’m changing habits and my mind is saying “hold on a minute, you need to be more terrified”. Just any words from fellow GAD sufferers would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I wish you well.
Hi! Well I have suffered with anxiety for over a year now. I feel for you, the thoughts I get that make me question will I always be worried and unable to enjoy anything. For example right now, I have stomach pain for a few days and I am terrified it is some kind of underlying disease which al my blood work came back ok. But I have convinced myself I’m not Ok. 🙄 go figure. I just hope we can get through this! Keep fighting the good fight. Feel free to contact me for anything !
Thank you so much for your sweet reply, it is in itself a comfort that we are not alone. I’m glad that you are aware at this stage of your anxiety unlike a few older generations who didn’t have the resources or any information available. You will get through it of course because we have to 😁. I even gave anxiety a name called Jeremy (no offence to jeremy’s Out there it was random), so if he shouts too loud one day I tell him to cut it out and I’ll deal with him later. Sometimes even tell him to sod off lol. But with all the shouting etc he eventually shuts up when I let him. Hope you are having a great day and living in the moment 👍🏼
Hi Muna,
I feel for you and I am going through a similar thing.
I suffered about 12 years ago and was off work for weeks but have managed to live a normal life and take things in my stride until last August. All hell broke loose in terms of my anxiety and I ended up having to cancel a holiday abroad because of it. I have been in and out of work and now starting a new job next week (which is bringing back all my symptoms again)
I think you have to tell yourself that it is only temporary and you will get better again. Be kind to yourself and do things that make you happy and not other people if that makes sense.
Feel free to msg me or if you have any issues to share
Take care
Chris
I hate having this feeling. Like I was just tested in November it came out fine. I am only with my husband yet my mind likes to tell me otherwise. I know I shouldn’t worry about it yet I still do. Smh. I think I do have health anxiety from what I’ve been told 🙄
Hey Muna, reading your post I could have literally written a the exact same words about myself. I too suffer from Gad. I too have educated myself with self help books etc, etc. I had counselling and I definitely am a deep thinking over analytical person. I bet you are also a sensitive person - am I right? I can go for job interview and not feel nervous but if I was feeling panicky then forget it! Like you, sometimes I am able to tell myself it'll pass and it does. But that is not the case everyone. For example several weeks ago I has a bout of flu and couldn't understand why I was feeling really on edge and panicky. I have come to the realisation that when I feel physically run down, it really does directly affect my mental health. It doesn't matter how much I understand the condition, I can never get used to the feeling of dread and all horrible physical symptoms that come with it. You say you have started a new job. That is stress in itself. If you are anything like me, you are trying so hard to do it well and succeed. I often push myself to do things just to Prove to myself that I can! My expectations are too high and I've come to realise that because of this wretched condition I'm doomed to fail if I expect myself to be 100 per cent perfect. I think you are doing amazing but take one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. I'm here if you need me. Good luck xxx Donna x
Dear Donna
It is such a comfort reading your response as I can absolutely empathise with the sensitivity and the deep thinking!! I have had such dreadful periods where I have focused on existential questions and then severe DP/DR kicks in. I do believe that as we are sensitive in nature our sensitised nerves reek havoc on our thoughts and feelings. I wake up and self scan any little ailments which can take over my whole day. On a positive note though the awareness of what we are doing is a major step and as we have been habitually living like this so long it will make sense it will take a long time to reverse it too. I really appreciate that you have taken your time to write to me and it has brought me a great deal of relief just knowing there are like -minded people out there. Self doubts and high expectations are because we are perfectionists and critical of ourselves. I find when family tell me to “pull myself together” counter productive therefore have stopped telling anyone about my feelings/symptoms. I hope you are having a great day and wishing you positivity. All the best
Thank you Chris
Indeed when it’s been such a long term issue and we make progresses, any triggers can cause such a deep unsettled feeling. I have also had moments when I just did not want to travel because of it but gave myself no choice, if I’m honest I’m glad I did and actually enjoyed my time. I have skipped years of holidays with excuses but I was doing the opposite of what I should have. I will try to be kinder on myself and not let the small things bother me. I appreciate your response and hope you are doing well.
Hi Muna, thank you so much for your post. It was such a lovely message, and so true! I can honestly relate to everything you said. You are a mirror image of myself in that you are sensitive deep thinking and philosophical.
I'm not sure that I've had depersonilisation. Is that what you meant? Would you be able to describe it to me in more detail? I've had times, days on end where I just feel weird. Not much of description I know but it feels as I'm feel totally inward and the world feels strange. For example, if I was walking down the road it feels as though the ground is uneven, I can't walk straight and need to grab hold of something for support. I feel unsteady on my feet and my legs feel week. It's just such a horrible sensation. I know this is just harmless adrenaline coursing through my body. We both know we need adrenaline to survive. Great for dangerous situations right? So we can jump out of the way of that speeding car, defend ourselves, whatever. But as our fight/flight mode is heightened and constantly switched on - we have to suppress It! It it so bloody hard. Every day is a test of endurance. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is: Hope I feel alright today. I also cannot make plans as I don't know how I'm gonna feel. I feel really sad that your family don't understand, nor do mine. It's pure ignorance. Unless you've actually experienced it I don't think they know how hard it is. If you could just pull yourself together, then you would because no sane person would choose to feel this way. It's not a choice thing. I am over sensitive I think and don't take criticism well. It doesn't make me feel angry but rather, I feel hurt. Silly, I know. The plus side is that I'm would consider myself to be very loving and affectionate especially towards my children. I am always hugging and kissing them. The call me smother instead of mother. I always hug friends. I often wonder if I am someone trying to meet my own needs? So for waffling on. You not alone. Message me anytime xx take care