Anxiety

Mental health
1

Hi, my names Laura and I'm 21. I have had anxiety problems since I was young, and because of it I have only just got my first ever job.

Since I left college when I was 18, I have done nothing with my life, simply because I would get panic attacks just leaving the house, even when the phone rang.

If I had to make a call, I would have to go on the toilet several times before hand, and I'd get myself into a blind panick.

It has taken me so long to build my confidence up but that is only because last year I took it upon myself to care for my nan and grandad. By doing this it made me feel proud and that I was doing something good with my life.

Sadly they both past away which did knock me back a bit but I remembered how helping them helped me.

January this year, I applied to work in a care home, and I got it.

I was a nervous wreck but I got myself through it.

I have done 8 shifts now but despite trying my hardest, I finally cracked and ended up having a panic attack at work and crying I front of everyone.

I have thrown myself into the deep end completely because of several reasons:

- My partner who has been supporting me(financially as well) since I was 18 finally snapped and said he can't be with me if I don't work because since he's been with me ive never worked. I understood completely what he was saying and was so thankfully for everything he's done for me, but what I was going through, I couldn't exactly snap out of it.

- My partners mom and my brother were extremely angry with me for not working and said I was faking being a nervous person. Which made me really upset because I never enjoyed sitting in the house on my own everyday scared to leave the house or scared to use my phone or open the door.

- I knew I was good at being a carer and thought it was the best career for myself to go in.

- other jobs I couldn't get because I had no experience (most never even got back to me)

- I was fed up of the way my life was going, I want to work, I've always wanted to work.

Anyways,

At work they only allowed me to shadow someone for 1 day and even on that day I was left on my own wondering what to do.

I have asked other care assistant and even the nurses various questions on how I'm meant to do things but they never give me an answer or they look at me as though I'm stupid.

I want to do my job the best I can, but when I don't know what I'm doing, I just end up trying to figure it out myself.

I understand it's busy but when I ask these questions they aren't normally doing anything.

I find myself walking up and down the corridor like a spare part.

I'm good at caring but no one has really explained the order in which they work.

I feel drained, I feel like crying everyday, my heart just thumps away rapidly.

I just don't know how to control myself!

So, after the rant, I just need some advice on how to control my emotions when I'm at work.

Cause I have to take myself to the toilet and have a slight cry but I can't do that forever.

Are there any techniques that are useful?

Thanks.

2

Hi Laura,

I commend you on your attitude,working like you have given your anxiety takes a lot of courage and all due credit to you.

I can only say that two techniques helped me and they were keeping fit via any means,and meditation or yoga and I did both,I also did karate which gave me confidence.

At work try visualisation,that is concentrate on something you really love,imagine you are on an island,just you warm sun and lovely clean,blue water and noone else to stop you doing what you want to do,your own little bit of heaven,you can use any imaginations just meditate on it whilst breathing in and holding it,then exhale,keep on doing it till you start to feel better,keep that breath in as long as you can,look for other techniques on the net,it does work.

Good luck and hope all goes well

Regards Malc

3

Do you have health benefits? You should seek medical advice. Its very hard for people to survive on one salary today. It just puts more pressure on your partner. If you dont have medical you should put things in perspective and just say you are trying your best and you know you can do it. People at work should help you, but they are not which makes it worse. Why won't they help you? Are they so busy themselves? Did something traumatic happen to you in life to make you a nervous wreck? Tending to your Grandparents gave you back some positive feelings so think of them while working or ask to speak to your supervisor in private and see what she says. Life is only beginning for you. Nip this in the bud. Good Luck.

4

Laura,

Firstly let me just commend you on your courage to go out and find a job even with you're issues.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, I too have suffered with panic attacks for the past 8 years (I'm 24) but unlike you i have the support of all my family and friends, including my partners parents.

I too am a carer....well team leader in a care home.....and I have had to take the past week off work for the same issues, but i never used to get panic attacks during the day, its only when i started taking medication......don't get me wrong, I think you would benefit from medication and cognitive behavioural therapy to help you.

I don't think you got the support you needed from your partners family and they need to do some research themselves, they forced you i to a position you clearly weren't ready for, even though i believe you would make a hell of a carer, but i think you need to reconsider the company you work for. I too started out with zero experience but the company i work for are very supportive and give each new employee 2 weeks of shadowing and i am lucky to have support whenever i need it. Its not doing you any good being put in an even more stressful position and may be making your condition worse.

I know you want to work but you need to put yourself i a position you're comfortable with otherwise, I'm sorry, but its not going to get any better.

You need to concentrate on you! You need to make you better before life gets better, if that means not working then there are help lines out there for this exact thing. Cognitive behavioural therapy also helps you accomplish this by making you ready to go into the work environment whilst dealing with your issues.

cognitive behavioural therapy is available through your doctor, but you need to go and see him first.

I've only just, after 8 years, sought help for my panic attacks and at times i wish id never bothered, bit it does get better, its about learning what's right for you, finding the best medication that suits you, so if at first you don't succeed please don't give up, I've changed medication 3 times now to try find the best one for me, and I'm still not sure I'm there yet. I'm going back to my doctors to discuss alternatives, obviously i cant stay off work forever, but I need to get myself sorted before i even reconsider going back to work and I'm the only one working at this time, so the pressure is on.

Just try sort yourself out before forcing yourself into uncomfortable positions.

hope this helps.

Danielle xxx

5

Thank you for the replies.

I would go to the doctor but that is still one thing I can't seem to do! I know I need to go but for some reason just thinking about it makes me feel sick.

In regards to why i am a nervous wreck, I have been bullied most of my life which has made me anxious to be around people. Also when I was young, I was abused by my cousin, however, I only told my family when I was 18, and the problems from speaking out caused a lot of hatred towards me from certain family members. Because it took me so long to say something, they assumed I was making it up. My parents have been very supportive about it all. But since I finally spoke out about what happened that's what really brought my depression on and made my anxiety 10x worse that it already was.

I took antidepressants for a year but then I couldn't bare to leave my house to go, which resulted in me stopping my medication but I haven't been to the doctor since. Now it's just something I'm petrified of doing.

As for work, I never ask them for help when they are busy. I always ask when they are standing around doing nothing. I have been helped by various people here and there which I'm grateful for because I really wouldn't of been able to continue with working there.

I can't quit because I know any first job is going to be hard to get used to at first.

I enjoy talking to the residents and helping them.

Even though I've got this job, I am still extremely anxious about leaving the house, getting on the bus, making phone calls. I still can't go the doctors or the hairdresser.

I still have a long way to go.

I'm not sure how I managed to get a job and not be able to do the other things.

My mind is a mess.

It's nice to hear replies from people.

I've wanted to write on here for so long but couldn't.

So one step at a time.

Thank you everyone.

6

Hello Laura, what you are feeling is nothing to be ashamed of first of all and no matter what others think of you don`t worry about that. I have suffered with depression / anxiety / panic for many years. What you are suffering from is I think a depressive illness. This can can flucuate between depression ( crying ) and not being able to face situations ( anxiety ) . I need medication to function normally you might say and my doctor is very understanding. When I had my first major panic attack and did`nt know what it was he knew exactly what it was. You must seek help from your doctor as what you have is not unusual and there is a lot of help if you are prepared to accept it. I ask you to get help as if you ignore the symptoms your illness will only get worse and rule your life even more. Take it from someone who knows ! You in agreement with this ? David