I've suffered from worry, anxiety and depression for most of my lifemployer. Childhood Bullying land low self worth made me a chronic people pleaser. I'm on anti depressants and beta blockers, had therapy, but I just can't seem to stop worrying about what people think of me
Therapy is a long term process, CBT seldom works for long term issues, proper longer term psychotherapy is the way to go
Hi I too was bullied at school, like many others. It obviously affects you, thinking why me , what's wrong with me. My anxiety and social anxiety just got worse as the years went on. I too was a people pleaser , just wanted to be liked as I convinced myself people were talking about me, staring at me,,etc. Even if I had a conversation with someone I would spend hours afterwards going over the conversation thinking did I come across ok, did I sound stupid, did I say right thing. My anxiety and head going round and round drove me mad. I actually thought I was mad , I thought nobody else was like me. I got to the point I was so anxious ibtjoughtvitveasier not to go out, my heart would race, I would sweat and shake, I actually made things worse. You are not alone , believe me, it's such a relief to get this out in open , get treated for anxiety and talk to lovely, helpful people here who actually know what it feels like. I tried cbt, but my therapist said ' you say you think people are staring at you but you have blonde hair and wair a lot of make up, made me feel worse. My doctor is great, apologised I got a bad therapist( just my luck. I have heard some people respond well to cbt. Meditation, hypnotherapy, and medication for anxiety, anything that can help anxiety is worth a try❤️
Do you have GAD? Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It causes that too. I have it and I feel the same I can't stop thinking that or think I'm being judged or criticized, laughed at because I'm awkward. I have Social Phobia though. People pleasers need to focus on being themselves and not try to please anyone. You can't it's impossible and while doing so you will be unhappy. I smile and try to be nice though at the time I feel down or upset. It's hard putting a cover and faking something when deep down you don't want to be there you want to just go lay down. I feel too that I have to make everyone happy. I don't want to smile when I don't feel like it. But then people will think I'm mad lol. Since I'm a smiley person with them. Don't think about others they are worried about how you see them too. We all worry about what others think whether we say it or not. Some to an extreme they can't cope and they are stressed out and feel down. Like i do. Act like you don't care what they think about you and you will later think like that for real. "Fake it till you make it." Affirmations. Change your worrying thoughts with positive affirmations. "Say it in your mind." They are not judging me they are worried how they come across to others. Remember there's many people. They can't be focused all on you. They are probably focused on someone else or thinking if someone notices a claw they have. Everyone is insecure about something. We all have flaws. They probably are worried about you or others noticing it. Be strong and positive. You can't have positivity in a negative mind. Hope you stop thinking what they think. Life is too short. It would be nice just to go out and not be self conscious. Oh my I wrote a whole essay LOL. My bad.
Edwina me too. I will replay every event all over in my head thinking if I came across a certain way if I sounded like a fool or if I didn't say much and will they think I'm boring. Lots of things. It got to the point it was too much I get depressed over these little things. If I sounded dumb or awkward it should not matter. Theres always another chance. We can try again. Be positive. Don't doubt yourself. Turn those self doubts around. Ignore them and tell yourself positive affirmations about yourself.
Thanks Ashley for reply. People say I'm so good at reasuring other people , and have such empathy for everyone who suffers with anxiety, yet I still struggle to reasure myself it doesnt matter what people think. Know its all in my head as people are probably too busy with their own lives to even notice what I'm obsessing over. Just another symptom of stinking anxiety. Thanks for your kind words❤️
But now Reassure yourself. Every time those self doubts kick in. Thank you too for sharing what you feel and reassuring others too. You wrote what I also think in your first comment. Now I know I'm not alone thinking this way. Fighting against this daily struggle that is Anxiety. 🙌
Thanks. Great to talk, was such a little mouse for years , hubby always says wishes I wouldn't be so self conscious as he says I have such a caring , funny side to me, can't take a compliment , my mind just says they don't really mean that, are they saying that because they are thinking something else. Over analyse stuff. Glad We started opening up about this it's a very lonely illness. Thanks again, ❤️
It is a lonely illness. But know youre not alone. We may not know each other but theres us and many more who feel the same. 🙌Start taking the compliments and believe in yourself. You are your own best friend.💪 They don't mean it in a bad way. Our Anxiety makes us think they do. We need too boost our confidence in ourselves. 🙏 Thank you too Edwina.💚
Go to YouTube and search for positive self affirmations. The more you hear them, the more your brain believes they are true. I like to use earbuds to listen.
Do them every day.
They also have meditations for anxiety, depression, sleep.