Help!! I have bipolar and the end of my last episode in Dec I've been left with crippling anxiety. It improved last week And I started going out to the gym and having coffee. It seems without reason that it's returned steadily getting worse. I try cbt but the anxiety completely engulfs me. It's a part of every bone and sinew and I feel powerless to dwell on anything else. I woke up this morning with my heart pounding, Hands shaking, sweating one minute then freezing cold. I'm worried about my heart working so hard. I don't want to go back to staying in all the time and dreading appointments. How can I break this cycle? Anyone been in a similar Situation?
Hello spooked... I myself do not have bi polar but I do suffer from severe anxiety. After many many many anxiety attacks and trips to the emergency room and seeing my family physician over and over for all or my symptoms I was experiencing , as scary as everything u r feeling , always remember that anxiety does not harm you. It just scares the hell out of you. Yes every symptom u feel seems like it's gonna kill u or make u have a heart attack but just keep reminding your self that anxiety it self is not gonna hurt you. It took me a long time to figure that out. I have had many sweaty palms , pounding heart beats , dizziness , nausea, shaking and countless other symptoms and after my Dr repeating it to me over and over I realized that he was right. Its just scary as Hell and miserable. When I get like this I say to myself this to shall pass and I will be ok and when u focus on saying that over and over u will find that the anxiety subsides , u start to relax and things calm down. If saying it dosent help then write it down . the concentrating on writing or speaking the same thing will help to deter ur mind. Ur not alone bunny , I promise. Keep me posted .
Hi Spooked
I too am bipolar and also have (had) anxiety. They told me the SSRI anti-depressants would help with the aniety, which for me wasn't true, although I didn't get anxiety as bad as your describe. Eventually they put me on diazepam, which really helped, but then that might not be a route you want to go down. To avoid addiction I don't take it every day, just when I need it. I've also had counselling, which for me, did help. Not CBT, but a type called Human Givens, which helped me a lot and although I no longer go, as it was quite expensive and not avaialable on the NHS, I can still practice the meditation techniques my consellor taught me for stressful situations.
Once again I'm sorry to hear you are having such a horrid time, keep on posting and people here will help you
xxx
Thank you very much. I will give that a real go and get back to you. I Thought I was a bit of a hard nut and Could do anything but this anxiety is brutal and has got me on my knees. I know a lot of people who would be shocked to hear I was like this atm. It's even stripped my self confidence and I feel insecure, totally the opposite of the way I used to be. I admire you for getting to grips with it. Did you use meds to help you?
I have been on meds since I was 21 and I'm now 35. My anxiety really came out When I found my best friend dead. I had it b4 then but I never understood what it was. By the time I actually got help I had been home bound for 6 months . I didn't drive , I couldn't work , I never left my house and had a hard time getting out of the bed. I took a look in the mirror one day and I had gotten down to 90lbs with in that 6 month period and decided I needed help. I got into therapy , was put on meds and I'm still on them After all these years. I did take a brief break when I became pregnant with my youngest because being a nurse I knew that there was potential for birth defects when on an SSRI and benzodiazepine. It took a few trial and errors on different meds till I found the right one and finally got to where I could function somewhat normally. I now am able to live a somewhat normal life but I still suffer daily with anxiety and panic attacks. I have learned how to cope better and still have good and bad days. Due to me having a severe anxiety disorder and PTSD I will probably always b on meds but hey that's ok. The meds allow me to live a normal life , take care of my kids and do my best. So if that's the price I have to pay then so be it. There is ALOT of meds out there. And it's ok to ask 4 help. Even the strongest people in the world need help once in a while. Never have shame.
Hi Jennifer, I am so sorry to here of the trauma you want through and how long you were affected by such intense anxiety. Reading your story gives me strength.
The current level of anxiety I am experiencing has only been since end of December.it hit me like a sledgehammer and I had no defence. Looking back it is better. Some days like today I wake up anxious and try all day to keep it under control. It's like riding a wave. Just chatting on the phone to my friend we ended up talking politics and I started feeling more anxious and had to close the conversation down. I used to love a debate. Lately I have become tender and super sensitive and it's hell to be honest. I shall focus on yr story and hope one day the same happens for me. As for meds I am on 300mg quityapine, 1200mg Lithum and zopiclone at night. My consultant suggested a stronger sleep aid but I can't remember what it was called. I'll let you know when I see him. My sleep is terrible peppered with vivid nightmares. I think if I get that under control it'll be half the battle. Thanks again Jennifer
Hey Lizzie, Thank you for your advice. I am interested in the therapy you mentioned. I wish I could use benzos but they are off limits as I had a bad habit at around the same time I got diagnosed with bipolarr 10 years ago. Today I have had to sweat it out and the day is nearly over. Its been a hellish day for sure! sometimes I feel I`m being punished. Lets hope tomorrow is calmer. Thank you
Hey there chin up, you are definitely NOT being opunished, never forget this eveil we suffer is an illness, and can, eventually, for most people, be cured.
I'd be interested to hear how you got off the benzos, I'm cutting down and doing OK so far.
Just Google Human Givens and you should find some practitioners near to you
xxx
I'm not so familiar with Bipolar but have anxiety.Have you tried cutting out processed foods for a good fresh diet and exercise,even at home if you can't manage going out.It's not a cure but I feel less anxious and down with this.
Hi Lizzie, about getting off the benzos ....well I did it the wrong way. As you know I have bipolar and suffered a hypomanic mood episode and didn't want anything to stop it so I just quit and that was that. when that episode ended I got depressed and now anxious which maybe is partly down to stopping the benzo? so sorry I can't claim clean victory.
My hypomanic episodes, which I used to love, but which were often also devastating in various ways, always ended in more depression just like you. I found the anxiety oddly, got worse as my bipolar was treated, hence I only came to the diazepam after quite a long time. Before they gave me the diazepam for my anxiety they gave me Chlorpromazine, sometimes Promazine for anxiety, and bear in mind, I was also taking Risperidone, a new style anti-psychotic. Chlorproamzine and Promazine are old-style anti-psychotics, they didn't help and had horrid side effects amking feel like a zombie, so getting on the diazepam made me feel human again. My gp now wants me to try to get off the diazepam but its hard, as you know.
I hope you surviving and I send you my very best wishes
xxxx
Hi Lizzie, Sorry for the late reply. I thought I had written a reply but can not find it? I was jst saying that our bipolar seems to follow a similar path. I was also on chlopromazine and resporidol. I was taken off the chlopromozine because my new conultant P was not a fan of the old school meds such as this one because of possible organ damage and side effects. As for the respiridone, well, I wish that i hadn`t come off it as it brought me 5 years stability. They had me on a depot for 4 years which worked a treat. I did ask about it during my latest episode but he siad its time for Litium. The jury is still out on that one. Iv`e just found out its caused an undre active thyroid gland so at our next meeting we`ll discuss it in more length. His initial reaction was to advice me to stay on it and take meds for the thyroid. Anxiety is lots better and i`m feeling a lot more hopeful about life. I reckon pushing myself to the gym every morning has played a big part. How are you?
Hi Spooked
I hope you are OK? I'm fine today, just getting over a little spell of anxiety about one of my dearest friends who isn't answering calls or messages and I thought it was because I'd critcised her grandson, but she's not communicating with any of my other friedns either, so maybe it not personal.
I agree with you totally about the risperidone, it is a miracle drug for me and has controlled my hypomania and more or less stopped the obsessive thoughts I used to get, I had a man in my head telling me what to do and it was really scary. At that time I wondered if I was going to be diagnosed as schizoaffective, but the risperidone stopped all that.
I hated the chlorproamazine, it made me feel terrible and wasn't very effective either. Like you, I was taken off it for health concerns, thanks due to my pharmacist for alerting my gp.
I've never tried lithium, was a bit scared of iot, although I did try other mood stabilisers such as tegretol and epillim (sodium valproate), neither of which helped me very much. Its just personal to me, but I find the anti-dep / anti-psychotic combination plus occasional diazepam works for me.
I can't remember if I told you but I also have a number of allergies and after cetirizine had failed miserably to control them I asked for a sedating-antihistamine in a stroinger formulation and they gave me hydroxyzine 25mg, which I take in the evening and it really helps me sleep. I've always found a good night's sleep helps keep me stable.
I've also noted shaz's response and I'm saure a good diet and exreciase help, but I'm not very good at practcising what I preach as I'm about to have a pizza then szleep on the sette!
Hope this finds you well, if not, as always I send you my love and prayers
xxx
Hi Shaz, I do apologise for not replying sooner, It was something I was going to do and yr friend Lizzie reminded me of your post. You are quite right about what you say about diet. Yr post made me rethink what I was eatingand I looked up the imporatance of eating properly. I knew it in the back of my head but becuse I was so anxious I started eating easy prepared quick meals and snacks full of carbs, fat and proccessed rubbish. When I got back to the gym I revamped my diet and started eating lots of fresh food and now as I mentioned on Lizzies message I feel heaps better. Was surprised after all the rubbish I was eating to get the results of a blood test to find I had low cholesterol but the bad news was that I had an under active thyroid gland. I`m taking thyroxine and ever since I`v felt so much better. So yeah, exersize, a good diet and the right meds all combine to make a happier me. Thank you for yr post and sorry again for the delay. I usually reply to everyone. Will
Hi Lizzie,
Yeah i`m good ty. My anxiety has decreased to manageable levels and the dark frame of mind has been replaced by a much lighter one.
Sorry to hear about your anxiety. Have you heard anything yet from your friend?
I know exactly what its like to be wondering if a friend silence is owing to something you said. She might just be busy? If not the silent treatment can be punishing to some people. Have you thought about telling her that you are anxious because she hasn`t replied?... or will she already know that.
Two of my family are like that. If i say anything that they think is out of line I get the silent treatment. I think I am too sensitive I didn`t used to be tnis way, Its ever since I got ill and anxious. It seems that ANY problem comes up I get anxious and cant stop obsessing about it. Working on it!
Epilim is yet another med that Iv`e tried. It made me feel really flat so I changed. I have a friend who swears by it though.
Ther are a lot of similarities with what meds we take. I am being tried on hydroxyzine as from next week. It will replace zopiclone which I really do not want to say goodbye to. Its been my crutch for many years and is the only med that has made me sleep. I am very worried. I`d love to hear more how hydroxyzine works for you. Does it make you sedated during the day?
So thanks again for your reply, it has been helpful. Hope yr sleep on the settee went okay, why the setttee? When I was with my ex that was often my sleeping place, lol
Will xx
Hi
Hydroxyzine for me has been has enabled me to cut down on my diazepam use. It is sedating so I take it about 25mg about 10pm and it kicks in just before I go to sleep, soemtimes it hangs on into the next day but not always. Its also got anti-anxiety and anti-psychotice properties; I wish I'd been given it years ago, combined with the risperidone and citalopram its works well for me. Only warning, don't do what I did this week and accidentally take a double dose as it knocked me out for the rest of the next day! I was on Zopliclone for a short while and I would say hydroxtzine is infinitely superior, it gives me a better quality of sleep and isn't addioctive like the Z drugs.
Just woken up from my snooze and very pleasant it was too. My room downstairs is my little snactuary where I liesten to music and read and watch dvds, I try to keep my bedroom for sleeping at night. I share a house with a friend, I was divorced, bitterly, years ago, a long, familiar and boring story! (p[artly my fault due to my promiscuity driven by the hypomania).
xxx
Hi Lizzie,
Thanks for the advice about the Hydroxyzine and taking double dosing. I did the same with Quityapine once. I had a new friend coming to visit me at home one day on one of my better days mid episode. I got really anxious about his visit so double dosed. I had checked dosing info first but not enough. After about half hour into a film we had arranged to watch I couldn`t keep my eyes open and fell asleep. When I came too he had gone. He knew a little about my ilness so knew I was on meds thats why he didn`t call a paramedic. I texted him soon after and he told me he had tried to wake me as I was making funny noises and trying to reply to conversations that were not happening lol I was mortally embarrased by the whole thing. I only rarely see him now and wonder what he`s said to other people about me. Normally when I`m not well I dont go out and limit my contact with people jst in case something like this happens.
I dont know about you but before my ilness got out of control I was respected, played in a band, had a high profile job, wife etc. Mo one saw the bipolar me apart from the hypomania. So when I got to the stage of being very ill I moved out of my home city to somewhere where noone knew me. Bad and choice but hey.
Know what you mean about the hypomania and promiscuity, it wrecked a few relationships.
I like sound of your sanctuary. It also essential for me to have such a place. I`m lucky enough to have a lovely flat which I have made my sanctuary.
Take care and enjoy your sunday xxx
Hi
Havinga really nice Sunday thank you, mood all stable and lessw orried about my friend as its not only me she has cut off. Its like that for us though isn't it, so sensitive.
I love my two rooms in the house I share with a friend, they are very peaceful and relaxing places with nice things in them that make me feel good. We need places like that
Hope your Sunday is good too
xxxxx