Any advice on how I may have contracted genital herpes

Sexual health
1

Hello

Last week I found out I have the herpes virus. I was experiencing pain for a few days and went to the GUM clinic as was obviously very concerned and it turns out I more than likely do have genital herpes. Im now on my final day of taking the medication which has definitely helped thank god! For my own peace of mind im trying to figure out if I may have caught it from a guy ive recently been sleeping with. I know its really hard to say from doing a bit of research but I thought if I give a bit of information about myself there might be someone on here who is a bit more knowledgeable and might be able to give me some advice?

I met a guy around a month ago and we slept together for the first time using protection. I had no symptoms after this.

A week later we slept together again and DIDNT use a condom (obviously regretting this now if I did contract it from him) but I think part of the reason for us not was the fact we both had been checked and received negative results from a full sexual health screening a few days before we met.

Literally the day after this I had a rash, stinging, tingling etc. but was stupid and thought it was either an intense shaving rash or maybe some lubriaction wed used. About 2 days after this the pain lessened and the rash basically went. He also text me a few days after to say hed injured himself and had "torn" the skin at the base of his penis. I saw him at the weekend and he told me hed been worried it was an STI so had gone to his doctor who reassured him it was just the result of rough sex and nothing to worry about.

The third time we had sex I once again got the rash and the pain the next day, once again I stupidly thought it was due to the lubrication and figured I must be allergic. This time though the pain got worse and last sunday was when I really began to notice it and became very worried. I then went to the GUM clinic on wednesday as couldnt stand it any longer and knew something was very wrong which is when they swabbed me but told me basically it looked like I had the virus.

I am obviously really upset but have just been trying to deal with it as best I can over the last few days. I rang the guy that night and told him and he was also in shock and apologetic incase it was him whod given it to me. He said hed never had any symptoms like the skin tear before and he didnt think his ex had any symptoms while they were together. He hadnt slept with anyone else whilst we were sleeping together but had slept with another girl 2 weeks before me.

I know people can pick this up at any point in their lives and it go undetected so I may have had this for a while but I was wondering if it sounds likely that I may have caught the virus from him or vice versa? Ive never had any symptoms of cold sores or genital herpes in my life. Just trying to make sense of this really. Sorry for this lengthy post. Id really appreciate any advice. Thank you.

2

You said you had a "full sexual health screening" - what does that mean ? Swab test ?

Unfortunately for herpes a swab test is not always accurate and has a high risk of false negatives. Also unless they are specifically looking for this particular virus, they prob wont find it. The only true test is a blood test but this will also come back negative if recently contracted.

SO REALLY you both need to get blood tests now and again in 3 months if negative.

In the mean time get back into the condoms or just don't have sex.

You are correct - people can contract the virus and have it for a very long time before they are aware because the body does a good job of keeping it at bay. If you contract another infection (or experience being cold for hours at a time, abuse drugs or alcohol etc. etc.) then your body will then use some of its defences against these and therefore lowers the defence against the herpes - remember your body is in a constant battle with everything we throw at it !

It is also possible he got it from the other girl 2 weeks before. He could have had it for a while also.

Only if 1 test now is negative then another in 3 months is positive can you confirm that.

Of course this could also mean he got it from you.a

There is no way to tell really unless somebody confesses to knowingly having it and sleeping with you

Of course in reality, no one does this

Anyway all you can do is try to stay positive and healthy and get the proper blood test(s)

If you are positive then you just need to deal with it. A shingles vaccine may help

Otherwise good sleep and diet are essential.

Unfortunately where you wrote "had gone to his doctor who reassured him it was just the result of rough sex and nothing to worry about. " really highlights the complete lack of knowledge people have in general and even more frustrating our doctors. Most normal doctors will not recognise any sexual diseases because they are not trained in this area. It is important to recommend to anyone who experiences any symptoms of any kind to go to a specialised sexual health centre.

Hopefully forums like these can help.

Look on here for more info - http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/herpes-tests

Good luck

3

Thank you so much for your help with this.

4

If you do not have any partner before him, you should get the virus from him. Did you see his negative test results? If not, he may lie to you. If you have partner before him, you may had the virus before you met him. One person may have the herpes virus for years but show no symptoms.