Hi all,
Well I don't even know where to start here. I haven't been diagnosed with any anxiety disorders or anything, but basically a family member used to take drugs and achohol alongside a mental illness and absolutely petrified me from when I was a small child, making me gain an irrational fear of alcohol etc. I am now in my early 20s and I do not touch anything that this person has touched etc. (even though they no longer takes drugs/alcohol) and I wash my hands a lot because I get anxious that if I touch things that this person has touched it makes me as bad as them. This has been going on for years. On top of this, I am also a very nervous person. I worry excessively about everything and am very very awkward in social situations. My mind never seems to switch off and I wake up in the morning feeling exhausted because my mind seems to have been running all night. I am also attempting to do a PhD at the moment. I was always a very hardworking student but since starting my PhD, I have become very down and lost all motivation for everything. This means I am falling very behind on my PhD which is making me even more anxious. I now can barely get out of bed, get dressed etc. even though I really need to- I cant get any work done. I tried to tell my parents about this but they say I am an attention seeker and that it is all just in my mind and if I stopped being negative it would go away. I really dont know what to do about all of this- I feel like I cant talk to anyone about it. I am on the verge of quitting my PhD, but I know if I could just fix the underlying issues, that I could do it. Any advice would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post.
Firstly I feel you need to see your GP and perhaps get on some medication or counselling. Is it possible to delay your studies and have some time out. Are you at university you should have a pastoral dept. which would help you. Unfortunately your parents don't seem to be taking your situation seriously. People sometimes find it difficult to understand mental illness. Take care
You must not quit the PhD program. You must try to put the negative thoughts and bad memories behind you. I think you need some compassionate people to confide in. Have you tried therapy? I believe that if you can keep working on your doctorate and succeed in getting the degree you will feel much better. You will be able to take from it a great sense of accomplishment. Remember you are a very bright person or wouldn't have come this far. It's easy for others to say "get your act together". It's never that simple but I think you can do it. I wish you PEACE and good luck. Best wishes from Long Island, New York.
Hi. The good news is you are entirely normal. We all have varying issues with mental health or physical health and people only tend to show their good side, so when we feel disturbed about things it feels like we are the only one like this. You aren't. You need to accept who you are and what your issues and work with them to find a long term solution. It will not go away. So when you wash your hands put aside the guilt and realise you are doing this for a reason. Over time you will realise that you will be gaining the power to carry on doing that or not.
So far as being awkward in social situations, a lot of people are. You just have to accept this and find some peace in yourself that this is who you are and when you do you will firstly be happier that this is just who you are, and again you will start to gain some control over whether this is who you want to be.
As for people saying it is all in your mind, they are saying you can suddenly become a different person by willing yourself to change. It does not happen like this and many people treat mental issues like it is something we choose to be like. Try telling someone with heart disease to just stop panting when walking upstairs - it won't work! So accept who you are are and the first step is to accept who you are. Strangely, when you do this, you will often find people more accepting of you and understanding you.
However I understand you issue is falling behind on your PhD. I am sure this is tied up with your personal concerns but it also has a lot to do with a vicious cycle of stress causing you to work less and stress more. Imagine being on a desert island with no food and water. The longer you keep searching for them the weaker you get and the more inefficient you get at finding them, so if you aren't careful you will fail altogether.
My own persona way to deal with this is to just get one samll thing done at a time. If I am faced with 10 things to do in a day and always get nothing done, you may as well just try to get one thing done a day. You will hopefully find that you are less stressed about this and actually get it done mor quickly. However when you complete that one thing, reward yourself with something that makes you happy like surfing the net or Facebook, but keep those things separate from when you are working. You will again hopefully find that by achieving that one thing, you will feel a bit more of a success, and try to find the next thing to do. This builds up to a virtuous circle of success, achievement and happiness.
I also find that it helps to physically clear away any mess in your room. A nice environment makes for a much better way to get things done.
Remember though that none of us are perfect and in fact I think every one of us has hidden demons that we all try to hide. You are not alone. We all suck at trying to be successful. It actually takes a lot of failure to get things working well because we need to lear what works for us and what doesn't. I speak from a lot of experience in all these things and am still trying to find my perfect way to succeed, but you will probably find like me that we are always learning and adapting and we need to enjoy getting to the end result, not just enjoy what we achieve at the end because we never get there - a bit like life being about the journey - not the end destination. Hope this helps and good luck with the PhD.