Hi All
I've had anxiety for several years now and a big issue for me is doing things on my own. I get panicky and anxious then stop what I'm doing.
Mainly I can't go too far from home or the car, they are like my safety blankets. I used to enjoy going out for walks but now any further than 10 to 15 mins from home and start getting anxious. I know the only way to beat it is to do exactly what scares me but I feel really afraid. I used to be less anxious when with someone else but now even that is working so well. This is starting to affect my relationship as I keep making excuses as to why I can't go any further.
I don't want this to win, anybody had similar experiences and overcome them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all for listening x
Hi Im in the same situation as you, I've had depression for over 10years which no one knows about only me and I'm not on any medication. But over the last couple of years I have suffered with anxiety and now it's affecting my life I go to work and that's about it, I also have a 13year daughter who I have to go with me everywhere as I also hate going anywhere on my own. I dont have a relationship or have close friends but think that's because I hate socialising with my anxiety. So your not alone, I find i feel better when I'm confident about myself but that's very rare. I've decided to write a journal of what days I'm feel worse and why and what days I'm feeling good.
I don't have any advice for you unfortunately because I'm in the same situation. As long as I'm in my car or in my house I'm safe. I don't answer the door when someone comes and I look carefully every time I have to pass by the front door window that nobody is there. All the other windows in the house have closed blinds. The only place I go by myself is to my therapy and pdoc. I was diagnosed bp 1 about 11 yrs ago and I mainly stay depressed. My therapist is a very strong believer in hypnosis so we are really going to give that a go.
I feel guilt that I don't get out and walk because I know that would make me feel better but I can't bring myself to do it. Sorry i dont have any advice as yet but wanted to let you know you're not alone. I ask my therapist why he can't just wave a magic wand to make me better.😉
Wow we are very similar, I have a 12 year old daughter who comes out with me a lot but I feel bad for her as she is missing out on doing things with her friends at times. It's so hard trying to break the cycle.
Sometimes I think it would be great to set up a support group for people with similar issues and try to fix us all at the same time. I want to break out of this anxiety before I end up regretting not doing fun things with my daughter
Thank you so much for your reply. As awful as it is it's good to know I'm not alone in this. I thought I was starting to overcome it but just when I think I'm improving I have a set back. The silly thing is I'm only worried about having a panic attack on my own, I don't think anything else dreadful is going to happen so why can't I talk myself into believing I will be OK?
There has to be a trigger to kick start us into positive and happy thoughts, I need to believe that. I was recently given a good camera so I could photograph wildlife and I really do want to get out there and enjoy that.
So glad you got so many replies. At my worst I was exactly the same ( social anxiey) etc. Wouldn't go out alone. Up all night planning how I could get through next day without seeing people, if they noticed my nerves I'd obsess about it and not want to go out again. I would check outside constantly to sneak out avoiding neighbours. Now after years of this I still have anxiety and my mind never relaxes. Can have good days but have had to try alkimds. Cbt. Meds.( but be. Sreful ,not a cure) mum started pushing me going out with her more and more ( could go on and on) . Now love talking on here . Don't feel so alone and reassures you .❤️
Lucy that would be great if you could get yourself out there to photograph wildlife. Sounds like that would be very calming. I play guitar which helps a lot but it isn't exactly getting me outdoors😉
Thank you for replying. Talking on here is definitely helpful, reading some of the stories helps me to think maybe I'm not in such a bad situation and things may improve. I think I need to believe that for my own sanity. So glad you are doing better now.
Music can be a good healer, maybe in time, somehow it will help you. Would you go into music stores and chat to people about music? A common interest sometimes helps take the edge of nerves and anxiety when you have to talk.
No I couldn't do that but my boys, 21 and 25 and my therapist all play guitar. So that helps me. But yes socializing with someone outside my circle would be good. Just something I can't do right now. I've had times where I really got out and did something I wouldn't ordinarily do. My therapist encouraged me to go to the shooting range and shoot a gun for the first time and I went back a few times, each time alone. BIG deal for me! I am a woman, not that women can't shoot but I was really in the minority. My courage comes rarely and out of nowhere. It would be nice if I could access that whenever I wanted.🤔
I'm pleased you can build yourself up to do things from time to time, it's encouraging to show you can do these things and can keep them as a reminder for the next time you feel ready to push yourself.
I tell myself that I can do things and remind myself of what they are, it works sometimes and other times it doesn't.
It's nice talking with people who understand this problem, I have a partner who is generally sympathetic but he doesn't really understand, he just keeps saying 'go on, it will be OK, you can do it ' unfortunately I can't always do it.
Oh I know, I understand. My husband and I have been married 33 yrs today😁 and he doesn't understand at all. He is very aware that it is real but you can see it in his expression and reaction when I tell him I'm suffering he doesn't understand. He doesn't know what to say because when he does say something or changes the subject he knows that frustrates me even more. But I know if you haven't had depression or anxiety you really can't understand and there really isn't anything you can say. But it sure is a lonely place to be.
Exactly same. Hubby says I'm doing well and asks how it goes when IHOP to docs but he's so chilled ( exact opposites) that I feel he thinks lot of it's I my mind. Don't talk slot as I feel he'll get fed up of my moaning. Feel bad because he is outgoing. People reassure me he wouldn't be here if it was that bad. Anxiety makes me worry about anything also this.no one can understand unless they've felt this I can't explain to so called'normal' people what it's like. I'm past caring if they would think I'm strange I just concentrate on getting better for me and my family. I talk to people here as they do understand how it feels and give good advice and support❤️