it's tough and I have no one to tell except my bf and I reckon I will turn him off me in a minute. Since I complain so much about my appearance. It's not easy, fat stomach, floppy boobs, horrible hair, , jowls , where did 'I' go?
I guess this is it, its downhill from here? I am so down I don't even want to set foot out of the door. I used to be pretty and vibrant. I am so depressed that I can't even work out to help myself and promise myself that I will tomorrow, tomorrow. I am just so exhausted too. I've taken to calling myself the fat cow ugly mug. I miss me. Anyone with any inspirations?? Or that can identify.
You do look very pretty in your photo,but I can relate to you,I feel down about everything and I ve never been like this,I always loved clothes now I haven't got the enthusiasm to choose new ones I hate looking in the mirror,,everything feels like hard work,my arms and legs feel like dead weights. Hopefully this phase passes soon.I do try not to moan to my family i try to pretend that I'm happy,i get on my nerves enough I don't want to get on there's aswell 😊 I try and get out even if it's just for a little walk,it helps brighten my mood a little xxx
Hi calliane, you have just described me. I hate myself and no matter how much I tell myself how irrational I'm being I can't bring myself to look forward or look for the good in me. My body has changed, my mindset has changed. My husband and I have previous marriages and he fell in love with the vivacious, sexy confident me and now she's gone I worry he doesn't love me anymore. My daughter gets married in five weeks and I still have to find an outfit that will make her proud of me. Not look fat and frumpy. I try not to grumble, I'm a believer in not pointing out your imperfections to others as they probably can't see them. And a good friend said make the most of your assets then no one will notice your faults, but it's sooo hard. A lovely young girl passed me a tissue on the bus the other day, I hadn't realised tears were running down my cheeks, I was lost in my negative thoughts. Where has the strong confident positive me gone.
Callieanne, Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you're very pretty. I am struggling along with you. I think it's so hard on women ( like me) that have always taken an interest in looking and dressing their best and are used to compliments. I hate it too, but, I tell myself that my outward appearance is only a part of who I am, not all of me. I try to think that I need to redirect energy into another part of my life and take comfort in being succesful in that area. I know we can't hold onto youth forever and even the current beautiful, young people won't have any more youth than we have had. I try to think of people that are older but everyone loves to be around because they have wonderful personalities that people flock to and try to model myself after them. You might not realize this, but I'm sure you mean a great deal more to your bf than just your exterior. If that's not so, well you deserve better and will be better off without him...good luck!
I so hear you. I've tried everything with clothes. I am battling to choose styles that suit my new bloated body. Some days are better than others I admit. Today I guess is a bad one. I will also try not to moan to my bf the poor thing must think I'm self obsessed, which I am right now, but not in a good way. x
Yes! I used to talk to anyone everyone, now I'm like a skulking bag lady
I admit some days are better than others. Just watched a TV program about women in their 40s and 50s and having a blast. If I get the energy I will too. (Some days) xx
Perhaps the strong positive you (and me) has taken a brief hiatus? How sweet of that young girl though. I so relate too. My bf fell in love with a vibrant sexy confident woman, I'm now the skulking mouse that bites him now and then. I'm sure we can find ourselves again, even if we are different?
So true, but I think the youth of today have much less youth than we did as it appears that are judged as old at 30! Or even younger. Ugh, horrible. I think the best approach is one day at a time.
You are right, and like I've always heard- yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here yet, so today is the only day that we can change. But, I believe that with this perimenopause stuff, there are times when I am so depressed and negative that I see things (especially me} as being so much worse than it really is.
So so true. I am willing to accept all the menopause aging-bloated belly, floppy boobs, beginning of face wrinkles now- in exchange for feeling better. I am 50 and have had a very severe menopause- I just really want to feel better and don't care as much about the looks anymore. I am so tired of the muscle joints, aches and pains and severe fatigue to the point it is crippling. Give me ugly -if I can one day get rid of the feeling like I am almost dying on some days.
Hi Callianne. firstly you look lovely in your pic!! I have been on hrt since april, & one thing i wasn't expecting from it is my boobs feel fuller/firmer! so it goes to show what hormones do to our bodies! my facial skin also feels firmer/less de-elasticated if that makes sense too. my mental symptoms are much much improved-& the irreg bleeding I've had for 2yrs has stopped. I still get dizzy spells/faintness periodically through the month - maybe about once/twice a week which must just be a spike or drop in hormones as they fluctuate all the time. I also still suffer terrible fatigue - really knockout tiredness, but I'm also ill with colitis at present so probably that is a major factor. I find it hard even to do housework at the moment & just try & do a little each day.I think if you can get on top of mental symptoms it makes you feel a whole lot better about yourself in general. I don't know how old you are but have you considered talking to your doc or a meno nurse about hrt? xxx
Hi looloo, thank you for the lovely reply. I also have looser skin ( a withnatural process I guess). I suffer from pharmacophobia (fear of medication and doctors it's tough). But I am going to book an appointment with the wellness nurse. I will see what she says. I am 53. I still get irregular periods. I have every symptom in the book then some. Plus I suffromBipolar not medicatated due to the above. Oh wow it''s tough.
Dear Callianne. It must be awful suffering with unmedicated bipolar & now perimenopause. If you are going to have courage & make an appointment with the wellness nurse, explain to your surgery you have bipolar & pharmacophobia & try to arrange a doctors appointment within the same hour as your nurse appointment. I really think you should talk to a doc about medicating your bipolar condition first. Its worth talking/finding out about as bipolar is a separate disorder to your peri symptoms. You have nothing to lose by talking. You could take a magazine to read in waiting room between appointments to occupy your mind or ask a friend to accompany you if you don't think you can manage it on your own. This would be the first step in helping how you feel hun. Be strong & try to pluck up the courage to go. xxx
I’m trying to do that. For all my life, up to the age of 45, I always got complimented on my physical appearance and then very suddenly, almost over night, my looks completely changed. I have various health issues and I’m bloated, my skin is droopy and I’m losing my hair. I know looks are not the most important thing, I really do know that, as my health isn’t great, but it is nonetheless shocking when you very suddenly become completely invisible, not only to men, but to everyone.
I felt like this in the beginning 5 yrs ago, then one day said to myself " this has to stop now today. I started by educating myself on menopause, started eating healthy, got a breast lift and moved. I needed a change of environment. I started to make drastic changes to my life. Removing people who were not good for me and slowly stated to incorporate exercise back into my life. Started taking hair vitamins and collagen for my hair plus doing hair mask because my hair was thinning and had a different feel. Now its full and has grown alot. ladies one thing i learned on this journey is that we cannot give up and give in, we must fight or else we will wake up looking like ms piggy and feeling like the empty miserable scrooge. I had to take charge over my life and ask God to help me on this dreadful journey. It has been hard but i look and feel so much better. Start by writing small goals in a journal and do them daily. You cannot let menopause swallow you up and rob you from life. Get up today and fight.God be with you all. You have it in you to win this and look and feel like you use to. God bless
