Sorry this is so long!
Hi everyone, I'm sure a lot of you can relate to some of this since I've posted this under the anxiety category. For a bit of background my anxiety started on my 18th birthday and came out of nowhere. I was getting ready to go out and kept getting this chest pain along with heart palpitations, I ended up going home earlier than planned and this was followed with months of doctor visits ect. I had some ECGS and heart scans. I was put on beta blockers but they didn't work. I was even referred to a cardiologist who said I have heightened awareness of extra beats than most people but that my heart is perfectly healthy. After this it still took about 2 years before I was diagnosed with anxiety, this was recent. Over time it's gotten worse and I'm scared it will continue to get worse. I'm not sure what type I have but I think it's health anxiety because I'm not in college on Wednesdays and Thursdays and I feel very calm around this time simply because I know I can go to the doctors if I need to. I have the classic bad habit of googling my symptoms, even when I know I shouldn't. My latest worry hasn't been about my heart but about my vision because I saw some black dots on holiday in the sky and on the table. It doesn't move across my field of vision as every time I see it it's always in the same place although they do move a lot but they stay where they are. It looks like something that's actually there, like a bunch of flies. Immediately I thought it meant that it was a blind spot or something and that I was gonna go blind. Over time I started getting flashing lights that were very suttle and lasted a micro second and what looks like suttle tv static all over blank areas but after some time I just see it everywhere even on people's skin and stuff unless I'm focused on something and I don't notice it as much but most of the time it's always there. A lot of after images as well like when you look at something and still see it when you look away. I get this constantly. I got something that looked like white shooting stars in the sky but I literally get this every time I look at the sky, whereas most people have to concentrate to see this. (I looked it up it's a normal phenomenon called blue sky sprites where you can see the white blood cells in your eye) Although most people have to concentrate to see it, for me these days it's just immediately there when I look up at the sky. I had my eyes tested once by the optician. Doctors always suggest to go to the opticians when you get symptoms like this so surely they would pick up on anything sinister straightaway especially since I had retina scans, had my pupils dilated and looked at, had a side vision test ect ect. When the symptoms didn't ease again I went back and had more tests they said that everything was fine except for dry eye which was the cause of some eye pain I'd been getting, maybe the cause of the after images as well but I don't know because they didn't say. The flashing lights they believe to be migraines. I was reassured for a day or two until I had flashing lights again and freaked out, no longer reassured thinking maybe they've missed something and my retinas detached or something. I get scared of any flashing lights now, thinking they're coming from my eye before I figure it out that it wasn't, like when images flash on a tv and other sources. I can usually tell when the real flash happens though. I heard that anxiety can cause flashing lights but I'm not sure because I don't really have a panic attack when it happens, the flashing light GIVES me a panic attack in fact. I really don't feel like it's in my head either because it's too vivid and hard to miss and don't think it's a migraine even they said it could be. I am getting headaches lately but not really bad ones and their not around the same time as the lights the majority of the time. I get dizzy a lot too especially in shops. But because of my health anxiety it makes me distrust even the most intense tests when I get into that anxious state of mind. Anyway sorry this was super super long, but atm I'm waiting far too long for cbt and it's taking forever. The doctors keep saying it won't be long every time I ask but it's just taking ages and it's getting worse in the meantime and until then the only way I know how to cope is writing on these forums. I wanted to know if anyone has any success stories, where you got your anxiety to a manageable level and stop it taking over your life so much. Also if anybody can relate to my experience. Thanks in advance and sorry again for the extreme lengthiness of this post.