I'm 41, first panick attack at 16, first depression episode at 18.. Been on many antidepressants (Cipramil, Aurorix, Zoloft) also Lithium .. Lexapro worked finally for me when I was 29 at 20mg a day. along with Sotalol beta blocker. In 2014 I was fed up with the Lexapro, I felt like I was too high most of the time and felt I have become somewhat stupid in dealing with people, felt like a laughing stock to even my closest friends! I started tampering down to 15mg daily in the hope of completely stopping, that's when anxiety spiked and I was getting panic attacks more regularly, always thinking about my heart and having palpitations and trouble breathing. After 4 months the panic attacks subsided a little, I could bare them more now. But was too afraid of cutting down to 10mg of Lexapro, so I stayed on 15mg until the end of 2016. Beginning of 2017 is when I had a major panic attack and called an ambulance and went to ER as I did many times before in the past. The panic attacks were more frequent now, very scary and with them arrived the almost forgotten feeling I had, depression, it came and hit me hard and stopped me from feeling alive!! I attempted to get beck to 20mg Lexapro but that made me feel physically sick and panicky. I decided to cut it to 10mg, then 5 mg. Went to the ER more times, always dismissed as anxiety. A doctor prescribed me a Benzodiazepine called Temazepam, felt much better on it but after waking up the fatigue and low mood were unbearable. I also was afraid of becoming addicted to a "benzo".. A psychiatric from a community centre insisted I go back to 10mg Lexapro, I did and it started to work a little better on my depression, also after research I took Vitamin D3 daily and was surprised at how it gave me some energy and lifted my mood substantially.... Long story short here I am now in 2021 after tampering with Lexapro and down to 5mg a day, went to zero for 4 days and got really terrible withdrawals, I'm stuck at 5mg with bouts of depression and continuous and relentless anxiety in which I take a Valium once a week. I'm fighting the last battle against Lexapro now in the hope of getting free from it after 12 years of dependency. It has been a daily struggle for 2 months now being on only 5mg.. Many times I feel lost and so confused like in a dream Tried to start Faverine and felt ill, tried Mirtazepine and no luck, my body rejected them from one dose, all I got are terrible side effects that kept me busy for 24 hrs and that's it. I don't know what's next for me! My body feels tired, always afraid and thinking about the end!