Im in a really bad way tonight so i apologise in advance.
Im in my early 30s and i am alone, i have always been alone! I live with my mum and her boyfriend and then other than a couple of siblings who i do not really comunicate with i have no one, i have one friend who we talk only over text.
I have never had a real relationship.
I have suffered with mmental health problems since a very young age! Cant handle.much more! I always thought i would die young as whats the point in living if this is how i live.
Im so jealous reading peoples posts even tho some people have it worse than me they talk about.their partner or their kids im never goin to have either
Really there is no point. I dont leave the house. I dont leave my bed.
I need to get the ccourage to just end it! I overthink everything so i cant just do it but i want to do it so bad! I just dont want to be here anymore i dont want the pain of living in this world like this. Im not living anyway. I eat, sleep, watch tv and hope i get a terminal illness so i just die! But so far i havent and i camt cope anymore! I have no one to tell or talk to! Been through doctors psychologist blah blah blah had cbt then told due to cuts thats all we can offer. I cant talk to my mum as she just says thats so sad that you feel that way then goes back to doin something else!
Nothing left. Maybe if i just keep eating and laying in bed i will die of unhealthy living
One can hope!
really sorry you feel like this. have you contacted 'mind'? its a free support network and an alternative to CBT if your practice aren't able to provide anymore sessions.
i would go back to your GP & your mum again & explain again how you're feeling. you haven't mentioned medication so maybe that will help or a change of, if you're currently being prescribed something. different medications have different effects.
people outside of this dark cloud we feel will struggle to understand, especially if they've never experienced what it's like. i strongly beleive communication is key.
took me a long time but from personal experience, i started focusing in then out i.e. identify what you need from your relationships & build on it. exercise (helps to clear the cob webs & allows you to focus on something else), sleep well, eat well along with therapy & medication.
remember you're doing the best you can today & can start a fresh tomorrow.
good luck, i do hope you start to feel better x
Try yoga. Its working for me, also moving out will help. As for the ongoing self criticism, you dont have to listen to that voice. Focus on what you like about yourself. Meditation mat help you, look into it. This is my advice, you may choose to take it, you may not. Sometimes you just have to believe what someone says and take their advice with an open mind. Say yes more, be yourself even if that means anxious. Don't be afraid to show how you feel, dont put on a facade
I know how you feel. I am 27, turning 28 soon, and I have never had a romantic partner. I too become frustrated when I hear people who suffer from depression talk about their partners or their children as I have always assumed that my lack of a partner was the source of my depression. I've been suffering from depression for over a decade and it wasnt until recently that I reached out to medical professionals for help. If you had a bad doctor or bad therapist you should find a better one or one that you really click with. Everyone is different and there are ALOT of mental health professionals out there, some good many bad.
You already have a deadly illness, an illness which changes the way you see yourself and the way you see the future. Don't believe the illness when it tells you things will always be this way. I feel kind of silly giving this advice because, like I said, I know how you feel. I find myself in this very same spiral of negative thoughts often. Exercise helps, going outside helps, eating healthy helps, and doctors help.