Had TKR April 29th. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing and trying hard to be positive with this very difficult recovery. Having up and down days biput the tears are flowing since the weekend. It's a vulnerable insecure codependent feeling, I've always been independent and capable so this is alien to me. Anyone else feeling same??
Nuala, it is not an easy road, many bad days with some good ones but that improves to good days and the odd bad day. You are very early on this journey and quite probably not sleeping so tired....very tired. Rest when you can, do your physio, ice, elevate and rest. Take you pain relief regularly. Let others take care of you. I know it is hard when independent like I was but to make this a sucess you need to look after yourself. It is difficult but you have to be patient, I am only realising that. Take care and we are all here for each other. xx
Oh yea how I sympathise! Had my TKR on 5th may, and have ended up crying a lot in the middle of the night, mostly with pain, (strangest phenomena) the pain is unbelievable at night, then get really anxious thoughts, will I ever be able to climb the stairs to my own bedroom, we're sleeping in the best Lounge at the moment, will I ever keep house myself again, strangely o enjoy looking after my home and garden, for I simply love it, and worst of all laying there and thinking its failed, how sad is that! Through bad morning convinced paain getting worse instead of better. However it's just as if a light comes on in the afternoon, and really found I had made quite a big improvement, walking with one stick, only a few steps, general more mobile, and a lot less pain! Not in as dark a place this evening, praying literally it doesn't return tonight! Frightening thoughts, feel like I'm losing my mind at times, so yes I feel just like you, let's hope better times are round the corner.
Yea I had this..I felt so vulnerable depending on husband for most things ..after a while as you improve just push a little bit to achieve 1 task a day.makes you feel empowered.
I have always been fiercely independent so comes hard...hang in there x
Yes sds very familiar n now having my revision op tmz so will be back in that awful place of vulnerability n pain.never thought I would be doing it all over again x
Hi nuala
i had my op on 18 April so I'm a few days ahead of you, as it were! And yes, I can identify with the weeping. I don't think I've cried so much in years and years. Especially during the night, as others have said....but also daft things, like my hubby walking in the room with a cup of tea for me, will set me off bawling about how lucky I am and what a relief it is to see his lovely smile etc! At times I have really felt quite crazy!!!
Like you I have always been independent - and have looked after others - and I hate this vulnerable feeling! It will pass though, I am sure.....I am already feeling a bit more stable over the last few days.
Good luck x
Will be thinking about you tomorrow and hope all goes well. xx
Hope all goes well tomorrow x
Thank you all for your uplifting reassuring words. At least I'm not alone with these feelings just hope we can all get through this in one piece and get back to some kind of "normality".
Best wishes to all with this recovery may we remain calm and sane and patient!! Thinking of you Hilary tomorrow. Hope all goes well for you. 😀😂😅
Dear Hilary
Will be thinking of you. You have a virtual support circle here!! I hope all goes well and look forward to hearing your news when you feel up to it.
(((Hugs))) xx
Nuala, so normal. We have all been there. I believe the anesthesia leaving our bodies causes this, then the lack of sleep, and pain causes it too. I think my hubby thought I was a little twisted for a bit. Then he finally gave in and would just come hold me if he heard me crying.
i too Nextoneplease would cry when he waited on me...knowing how lucky I am. This too will pass.
pam
Yes, Unalaska. I believe it's part of the whole "wonderful " experience. I had my Tkr on April 14. Had dr appt. he tells me I'm progressing slowly but progressing. That's what I have to hold on to. I get very much like you, for some reason today especially after seeing doc. He said we all are different with healing........ N see ya in 4 weeks, ha ha, I guess. Try to stay strong n patience is the key word. This is a tough surgery. My do told me he had a 80 youngin he worked on yesterday n he got into the chair with no pain????. Well I said good for him, I would hate to see a 80 year old to go thru the pain I have every day. So I wasn't sure to feel good or bad about that comment??? I'm 20 years his younger!!! Ahhhhh very frustrating. But I think doc meant well n believes I'll progress. Take care n believe each day will bring further healing, n don't hang onto those negative thoughts, those are the mean gremlins in your head trying to freak u out, shush it away. Blowing healing prayers your way.
I am 8 weeks po. The first 6 were pretty tough. I'm very independent also and was humbled by the little things I couldn't do. I had mua 4/27 as I just wasn't getting range of motion. During the early weeks I cried often. Asking myself why did I do this to myself. My mom passed away a week after surgery so that added to everything. I started with new pt 5/9. My improvement is amazing. I'm off my pain meds. Taking Otc tylenol. I have finally turned that corner. Still not sleeping well as my knee aches at night. But I can definitely see progress. This is a long difficult journey. Let people wait on you. Take your meds when you're supposed too. Rest ice and elevate. It really does work..
Nuala, I did quite a bit of crying....sometimes when I was exercising, times when pain was unbelievable and other times for what seemed like no reason at all. I heard that the narcotics can make you very emotional, and also nasty (for me, anyway). I felt I was always apologizing to my family for my attitude.
whether it's the meds, the pain, the tiredness, lack of independence....it will get better as many have already said. I had a mission - op back in september - I took every day as one more day towards recovery. I was so focused that I didn't think beyond what was happening daily. Of course, the meds gave me such brain fog, I just went through the motions of daily living. I feel like I'm just about back to what would be considered "normal" with no lingering issues and am so grateful for that. I wish all who go through this surgery strength and faith!
Nuala this is all very natural. You feel there is no light at the end of your tunnel. It's still early days and sleep deprivation is a killer. I am 4 months on now don't come onto the forum much now but did at the beginning and everyone's advice was so helpful. You will get good and bad days but eventually the good out weigh the bad. I am back at work now which intails a lot of walking and standing and many stairs. I have done it all with no problem and you will to. Only issue I had was siatica on the opposite side and again with so much helpful advice from our friends on the forum I am now out the other side. Thanks guys. Listen to your body it will let you know when your ready for the next step. Don't be to hard on yourself. We have all been there. Good luck and chin up x
Hi Nuala,
I too had my surgery the last week of April. I finally was able to bend to 100, but last night I had alot of pain. My rest was not good, therefore today has been a rainy painful lazy type day. And I am alright with it. As you should be alright with the days that you can't do alot for yourself. Allow the loving people in your Life to assist you (as I am sure you have help EVERYONE in your life, always). So please, stop being so hard on yourself, and cry when you want. Take care of yourself and I assure you, within the next few weeks, this will be but a faint memory. Take care.
Yes, for the first 3 weeks I felt so dependent and useless, I cried every day. I'm week 5 now and feeling so much better. Don't rush anything, everybodys recovery is different. Take care
Hi Nuala,
i am 5 months post op of left TKR. I tot have been very independent. This is a good lesson for us to learn to let others do for us. We , as woman are so used to being the caretakers.
i remember about a few days home from the hospital my hubby was trying to help me get the pads on my knee for the ice machine. All of a sudden I lashed out at him that he wasn't doing it right!! I felt so bad afterward, and apologized. I think it was all the tension built up fro all the discomfort, etc.
i didn't cry but had to learn to control,my outbursts and I WAS SO EVER GRATEFUL FOR THE CARE MY HUBBY GAVE ME!!!!!
a good lesson in k owing that everyone does things differently and to accept that and accept the help, the meals, etc.
take good care and keep us posted.
Yes honey it's a long road . Just please take your meds get rest and I tell people if I can do 4 1/2 years and 2 TKR in same leg long story . It's very hard to have to let people help you but just let them and know I am understanding the tears it's ok to cry your body is trying to heal .
Make sure you rest and it will be ok one day don't try to rush it .
Hugs from AZ
Damy, I swear it's the meds that made us so irrational and impatient. My husband was so caring and waited on me 24/7. But I found myself lashing out for really no reason and I knew it was wrong. He understood.
Weird how surgery like this can affect the whole family, because recovery is so long. I wish we could all get together and chat face to face. When I read about someone having a difficult time I feel so bad for them. And I truly think the medical profession needs to educate people on the outcome of this surgery. My dr who I think the world of, just kept repeating that since this surgery was voluntary, I needed to think long and hard about my decision. He said don't do it until I felt there were no other options. Being told that 70% of recovery comes at 3 months is not the same as experiencing it . Just my thoughts for the night!