My heart goes out to you! I have generalised anxiety disorder, but unfortunatley I tend to have episodes of it and last year and the beginning of this year I had severe hypocondria (afraid of being ill basically). The main things I were afraid of was Heartattacks, Tumours, Cancer and, yep, you guessed it, anyrsms.
It's a really hard thing to deal with, because no matter how much you try to reassure yourself you always have something in the back of your mind telling you otherwise- I've been there!
So, instead of you trying to reassure yourself, let me try and do it for you, and everything I'm about to say is the truth, not just for reassurance purposes. So I always used to have horrible pressures and pains in my head. Sometimes my head felt like it was being squished, squeezed, pressed down, pressed to the side etc. I always had pain/shooting pains on the top of my head, my neck, my temple, behind my eyes, above my eyes, the back of my head, everywhere, and sometimes all at once. I also suffered tingling, numbness, burning and crawling sensations on my scalp. Any of this sounding familiar? Something that used to help me with the head pain was massaging my shoulders, and, I know lots of people suggest it but trying to even my breathing. When you're thinking of all your symptoms, you may not notice it, but your breathing can fasten and make these thoughts much worse. If the pain is really bad, trying putting a warm wet cloth/towel/flannel over your eyes, and lie on your back with your head on one pillow (two pillows can cause the pain to get worse). As I said, trying giving your shoulders a massage. An issue I had was because I was getting so stressed about my symptoms my muscles in my shoulders/neck were getting really tense, causing headaches. Massaging my shoulders did help, and it helped me relax too.
Do you ever sometimes physically see the illness your afraid of? For example, sometimes when I shut my eyes, even sometimes when I was blinking, I would physically see a tumour. That is a common thing to happen when you are suffering with anxiety. I can't reccomend anything to help with that symptom, BUT, in order to help relieve these sensations, you have to tackle the anxiety disorder first. Everyone is different, but i'll suggest some things that I did that really helped me get through it (and it did run its course):
-'Symptom log + reality check'- this was something i came up with bymyself and actually helped me a lot. So, when I was feeling paticularly achey or worried about my health (which was every day), i would write down the symptoms that were bothering me i.e. pressure in my head, making me scared of having an anyursim. When I was finished writing down my symptoms, on the next page I would title it 'reality check'. I would then write a list of things it probably was such as 'horemones, anxiety disorder, tense muscles', and actually as I was writing, although sometimes it was difficult to not write down the things that were scaring me, I actually started to convince myself. It's because your brain is coming into realisation that you aren't actually ill, you aren't going to have an anyrusim, it stops sending warning signals. This may or may not work for you, but it did for me!
Aromatheropy/homeopathy- Okay, hear me out. I just used to buy lavender oil, citrus oil (lemon) and another oil i can't remember the name of (it was grecrainium or something). Lavender was the most effective for me (especially at night to help me sleep). I used to put it on a peice of tissue and put it under my pillow, or i even used to carry it around with me in the day so if I was feeling panicky or starting thinking too much I just sniffed it a little and the lavender effect calms your brain. You should also try rescue remedy, I used to take a droplet substance which you drop three times on your tongue a day, it seemed to help.
-Write it out. When you're feeling freaked out, write and don't stop writing. In fact, I used to set myself a 7 minute timer where I used to write without taking my pen off the paper. Just write and don't even think about it, you'd be really suprised about what comes out. Also, you feel mentally satisfied. Again, I reccomened the 'reality check' page, it really helped me.
-I recently bought a 'stress releiving colouring book', sounds really stupid and maybe a bit childish, but its really calming, and especially when i'm having a bit of an episode doing some theraputic colouring takes my mind of it and just generally calms me.
Those techniques may or may not work for you, but I hope you try some and that they are beneficial to you!! I honestly can't reccomend them enough, I was in an awful state last year. But I managed to get myself through it using those techniques.
So, in summary, you aren't going to have an anyursim. Believe me. (it's not the kind of thing that develops anyway). I used to be scared of getting them too, and get the same symptoms. Heavy eyes, headaches and pressures (+burning, itching, numbness, tingling etc), tired, dizzy, confused, too self aware, the list of symptoms is endless. But you just have to try to give yourself a reality check. Even say it outloud 'I am not ill. I am not going to have an anyursim. I am okay.' If there is someone around, talk to them about it. Talk it out with them. Just ask them to listen because you're having an 'episode' and you need to talk it out.
I really hope i've helped. My heart really goes out to you because having this fear can be really hard and put a hold on your life. You're doing really well from what you're saying. Keep going with that postiive attitude and try to think posititve!
