I've always had a tendency to feel low and frustrated by life. But i've been feeling low for around a month now, frustrated by my manager and my colleagues, feeling like people are winding me up and have been for the last four years and now, not coping with it very well. I don't get recognised for the work I do and other people get treated differently. I question myself a lot and get obsessive over things and think everyone dislikes me and I don't know why, I have been thinking about death alot and what happens after, and the fact I haven't achieved what I set out to do and feel like i've been smothered career wise. I have felt like this before and have never gone to the doctor as I always thought I could get thru it and it was just a \"change\" in my life, that I had to go thru to become a new, better person. I went to the doctors to explain everything and they have prescribed me Citalopram, which I am scared of taking - i don't know if its the admission that there is something wrong with me and not having the \"strength\" to do this on my own. I have read some experiences and people have been off and on them and it's not something I want to do - if any one has any advice for me, then I would appreciate it- i know different things work for different people, however it's always good to have other ideas and advice from people that have been through this experience, thanks.
Drugs probably aren't the answer, but they can be a useful tool in the healing process. I've been on Citalopram for about a year and a half now, 40mg, and I've had no serious side effects, so I'm happy to keep taking them for now.
From what you say about how you feel it sounds to like your an ideal candidate for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Google it for more information. It's not the 'tell me about your childhood' kind of therapy, it gives you the information and tools to deal with crap situations and moods. I would go back to your G.P. as soon as possible and ask about a referral.
As to taking medication being an admission that there's something wrong and your not having the strength to do 'it' on your own. What exactly is 'it'. Your ill, simple as that. Not weak, or sad or broken or useless, just ill. Same as if you had a cold or cancer. The 'it' you talk about is the healing process, and healing mental health problems can be a very difficult thing to do on your own. My advice is to take the medication, accept that you are unwell so you can start become well again, look into CBT, look into support groups in your area so you can experience how normal and just like you other people with mental health problems are, and keep checking back here to share your experiences and feel supported by the experience of others.
Bye for now.
I would recommend you try the tablets; as Doogs said they can be a helpful tool and they can give you a break from negativity while you get your thoughts in order. Bear in mind that they dont start to work immediately and that you can sometimes feel worse for the first week or so, but go back to doctor if you find serious side-effects. That said, i have no regrets about ever taking Citalopram
I am 21 and was diagnosed back in April with depression. The doctor prescribed me citalopram in which i was reluctant to take. All the stigma towards anti depressants and mental illness. I had a lot of side effects to this particular medication and have had it changed. Since then i have been on fluoxidine, trazadone and im finally found one that suites me,sertraline. Although i have been on so many medications, it doesn't mean that this will happen to you. Everyone acts differently. Although it took ages (well it felt like ages) i finally feel \"calm\" and \"stable\". Im a long way off being my normal self but sertraline has really helped.
Wishing you well for the future x