Mech...
Odd because we recently had a chap on my forum that had started Lex and had exactly the same existential anxiety you speak of! It is a form of OCD and can for sure be a byproduct of the meds. What dose/med were you on for those 5 years, and what does of Lex are you on at the moment?
Lex can take a good 3 months for everything to level out for some people, but if there is no improvement of symptoms (or worsening) after 8 weeks, then that is a good sign that they are not for you...
Matt
I think I can relate to being OCD. I have thought , what is the point of life, that we are just marking time. I think I need some spirituality in my life. Being raised Catholic the only thing I am good at is feeling guilty! I have wondered about the point of life ever since I was a young kid. It's possible I feel this way because I grew up an environment where ' I love you' was never said, ever! It is odd to have 2 parents and 3 siblings who are complete strangers. The family dynamic was so bad, I probably will never talk about it. It sucks to be in relationships where it is too awkward to express feelings you have. I would definitely say anxiety and or depression can also be a byproduct of your environment. I was thinking about what you said about your wife Matt and I really hope she finds something that works better than valium, and I personally know how hard it is to make a change when you feel that what you are doing seems to be working for you. There is a great book that anyone on this site could relate in some way to. It's called " I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can ". I strongly recommend it.
Roger
For 5 years I was on Citalopram 20mg, with almost no side effects when started, I drank, missed a dose here and there and nothing happened, I lived my life happily and normally. After the panic attack my DR told me to go back taking Citalopram 20mg and immediately felt nasty side effects, in particular heighten anxiety. I was on Citalopram for 6 weeks with little success, Then got switched to lexa 10mg. I feel little improvement with the lexapro but I'm still far away of being normal. Can you send me a link to that forum chat? I'm very interested to see what this chap wrote. Thank you, really appreciate it
Mech,
This is really interesting. You road has followed EXACTLY the same as mine. I was on Citalopram 20mg for around a year and more or less recovered, but the Dr kept me on it for another 10 years. I then decided I wanted off, and he did a withdrawal over 3 weeks - just like you. Then all hell broke lose. I went back on Citalopram and stayed there for another 12 months because I had a lot of stress in my life, but according to the mental health team, I should have been on something else. I no longer agree - I should have been having therapy. Now having allowed them to "test" me on 5 different drugs in this second year, I am in a state both physically and mentally. Back on Citalopram and hoping I will settle again.
I will PM you the link now.
Matt
I think everyone needs some spirituality in their life... it has certainly helped me. Thanks for book link.
The wife has used Valium for quite a while and she finds it calms her down. I don't like her using it quite as frequent as she does, but she, like me, has a lot of stress and memories of difficultly in her past to contend with....
"I no longer agree - I should have been having therapy" Exactly my thought also! without even blinking he (the DR) told me to go back taking Citalopram, where I should have taken cbt therapy only. I started going to cbt when it all started but felt as if the therapist can only do so much because of the meds.
Mech,
Again - this is right where I have been. Gone through therapy - the token 8 weeks we get on the NHS here, but I was too wrapped up in the medication to get the best from it. Last time, the therapist had me pegged from the start but in trying to tell someone to "let it go" when you have headaches, head fog and the runs 24/7 just won't happen!
Matt
I get it Matt. It was just a suggestion. I hope you check out the book. I might read it again, but your wife might relate to it. Basically a woman who thought she could just push through life, and her struggles with anxiety, stress, grief. It is a redemptive story, so inspirational like hell, unlike my morbid last tweet. Therapy is great, but make sure you connect with your therapist. If you do, it can be great, so I've heard. Some really are just putting in the hours.Just a heads up for Mech. No point in wasting your precious time . I know from experience. Some psychiatrists seemed to treat me like a guinea pig, trying all sorts of meds on me! There is nothing wrong with telling a therapist that it doesn't seem to be a good fit. Some actually tried to keep me coming, by threatening to withhold my medication. I also use to drink a lot, prior to social gatherings, to cope with anxiety and stress when I was younger. I don't know if others can relate, but I do not like big parties, and am sensitive to loud raucous noise. Until I found out I could treat my anxiety with medication, everyone I knew thought I was an alcoholic. I guess I can't blame them. Lastly, I would bet everyone on this site is very intelligent with a high IQ. It seems to be the trade off. I think I would rather be a bit dim, if the payoff was relaxation, although I am not sure. Maybe, if I could be sure I had a kind sensitive soul. I should stick to the topics of medication. Sorry if I seem to get off topic. I just think there are commonalities that others who deal with this might relate to.
Roger,
It is a very good suggestion and I am with you. We are taking more natural remedies between us and other "plant-based" stuff. But your description of some of these support workers just "putting in the hours" is exactly how I would put it. An NHS care coordinater getting upwards of 30k + benefits, you'd think they would have a little more to give... makes me sick.
The intellect is for sure a trade off. I am not one to shout about it, but I have five qualifications from various university and currently a researcher and sometimes feel as though I would trade it all in to not think about it all the time. The ironic thing is that my research area very much involves the brain, so I don't stand a chance.. I think about thinking dammit!!!
Matt
I absolutely agree. Depression/anxiety seems to go hand in hand with being a more contemplative/reflective type of personality, which I guess means intelligent to some degree. I wouldn't change that abut myself though.....just wish it hadn't lead me into so many black holes over the years.
I tried ashwaganda and had a very bad reaction... unusual, but not unheard of... VERY rapid heartbeat, anxiety and some dizziness...
Something to watch out for... not for everyone and strengths vary considerably between supplements...
Pardon the interruption... but I believe that ANY bad reaction to drugs, legal or not... can give one a pretty much permanent anxiety/depression problem... I mixed booze, weed, ephedra and Serzone (a really nasty SSRI, since banned)... had a MASSIVE anxiety attack and have not been "right" since... that was in 1997. My PCP now says I have a form of PTSD... the recommended treatment? Yep, another SSRI. Weed helps PTSD, btw... I started Lexapro, but after 6 days, the first few amazingly pleasant... I had a moderate anxiety attack... common, from what I read... I have been told by my pharmacist that this should be temporary, 2-3 weeks max... and that taking Alprazolam to fight off the anxiety should be safe for that time period... .5 mg, 2X/day... I was on celexa for a few years and it seemed to help... but made me a bit "dull"... I have high hopes for when I start the Lex again... waiting to confirm with my PCP... any thoughts or advice?
Are you sure about the not much withdrawal issues? They are both benzodiazepines... and I thought all Benzos had NASTY withdrawal problems if you got hooked... are both better than Xanax that way?? Thx!
Hi. I was wondering what dosage did you use? how many pills of which dose? Thank you.
Hi Amber, I would check with your GP and a Pharmacist. I was told NOT to take Lexapro at night as it might stop me from getting to sleep. I was also told that Melatonin (which I love) may interfere with Lexapro. Melatonin is the only thing that gets me to sleep pronto. I was advised to take Valerian but I get to sleep at least an hour later.